On the road to Krazytown with Kristina Corinthos-Davis: General Hospital Two Scoops for the week of March 24

General Hospital gave us pure soap this week in the most subtle and dramatic ways, and we couldn't be happier. Almost every day gave us another layer — and multiple anvils — for a spectacular end to the week that will have ripple effects throughout Port Charles for months or years to come. Let us peel back the layers that had us on the edge of our seats, wondering who would become the real victims of Kristina's delusional mind.

Kristina comes apart at the seams

Kristina has never been a character who has it together, but she seemed to be getting there when she finally got her own place, met the (supposedly) right woman, and spearheaded the creation of an LGBTQ+ youth center. Then, she decided she would become her sister's egg donor and surrogate. Things went downhill from there.

Kristina had already become attached to the baby she was supposed to hand over to Molly and TJ when she went flying out of Ava's hotel room window into the pool below. Sadly, the baby didn't survive — and neither did Kristina's sanity. The truth is she tripped over a duffle bag but still insists that Ava purposely pushed her. A jury might have found the pool plunge to be an accident, but that hasn't mattered to Kristina.

GH harkened to history for the final straw that caused Kristina to snap when Ava withheld Sonny's heart medication while laid on the floor. It was an ode to Tracy and the late Edward Quartermaine, who also played a large part in the week but in a totally separate story. When Kristina saw what Ava was doing to her dad, that was enough for her to determine that Ava was dangerous and needed to be stopped. Her rant at Baby Irene's grave — as she continued to call her Adela — was as unhinged as ever. From there, the anvils kept landing straight on our heads like a giant thud in the night. Oh dear, Kristina, what are you about to do?

Anvil # 1

Can we blame Cody for this one? His talk with Ric resulted in the lawyer deciding he had to swallow his pride and make amends with Alexis. Amazingly, Alexis decided the same exact thing after her talk with Molly. It was Ric who apologized and offered peace first, so Alexis chose to withhold her own mea culpa and accept Ric's. It all worked out in the end, with Ric even declaring a whole new chapter in his life with The Davis Girls — until Kristina started banging on Ava's door, ranting and raving like her usual self.

By then, we already knew that Ric had parked in Ava's spot. Thanks to GH's weekly promo, we spent days waiting for Kristina to fiddle around with someone's car. We assumed it would be Ava's, but Kristina is clearly careless enough not to check before she cut the brakes on the car parked in Ava's spot. Cue cringe emoji now...

Anvil #2

What is this now? Molly is ready to apologize to Kristina and make amends. Never mind the fact that Molly has nothing to apologize for, considering that it was Kristina who insisted on lending her egg and carrying the baby against Molly's better judgment. She also decided the baby was hers, refused to call the little girl by her given name, and had absolutely no sympathy for the sister whose dreams of having a family went up in smoke.

At first, Kristina didn't even want to accept poor Molly's unnecessary apology, but she finally agreed to baby steps and a movie night with Mom. Molly was so excited by this turn of events that she couldn't wait to tell Mom. That's when she found Ric and Alexis in the same room — not fighting. Everyone was happy! On a soap! Hooray! How long could this last? By the look of the nails, not very long...

Anvil #3

Peace and happiness seemed to prevail throughout the land, with two more characters seemingly unrelated to Kristina's problems deciding to take a weekend away. Lucky and Elizabeth seemed on the path to a second (third? fourth?) chance at happiness, but we should have known that the conversation Lucky had with Kristina last week meant something. He begged her to let her anger against Ava go, but Ava wouldn't let her do it.

Because Ava doesn't always think, when Kristina showed up at her apartment, things went from bad to worse. When Liz then made her way over there in a ride share to give Ric some papers, we knew he would offer to drive her home. Yep, more cringe because here it comes...

Ava, shhhhhh...

Yes, Ava Jerome is her own worst enemy and always has been. While she felt horrible when Kristina fell out that window and it broke her heart that the baby didn't make it, Ava just couldn't get out of her own way when it came to letting it all go once the trial was over. For months, she has been taunting Kristina while knowing she was unspooling little by little. Ava was just trying to have some fun, but oh, what a disaster all that misguided fun has wrought.

This week was the last straw. Between seeing Sonny collapsed on the floor in pain with Ava standing over him and Ava later threatening to use Sonny's condition to get full custody of Avery, Kristina had it. And Kristina did a bad, bad thing.

We admit that watching Ava play with Kristina's head was fun for us as well, considering how supremely annoying she can be, but we knew it would lead to something horrible one of these days. And that it did. Can this story be over now? Can everyone realize the error of their ways? And can Alexis please, please, please get her unhinged daughter the help that she needs?

Maybe we'll be stuck with Lucky keeping Kristina's little secret because he's the only one who knows what happened. But, would he really do that to the love of his life who became an unwitting victim of Kristina's kraziness.

At totally unrelated anvil, but hmmmm...

There has to be a reason that the camera panned to a photo of Sonny's two sons, played by the same actors who played them last, right? Why would GH show us this framed photo of Morgan and Michael as a closing shot if one or both of them weren't going to return soon? Soaps don't do something like that by accident. Couple that with Kristina invoking Morgan's name during her Friday fight with Ava, and we might have our penguin-loving Corinthos back in Port Charles soon.

So long, Valentin (Weep. Sob.)

How dare GH trick us like this and let us believe there was some way that Valentin could beat these horrible charges so he could return to Port Charles for good? Now, he is off to play piano and cry for the inmates at Steinmauer, and we don't get to enjoy any of it. There were tears all around when Valentin bid adieu to his mon petit. Charlotte cried. Lulu cried. Alexis cried. Anna cried. Valentin cried. And we cried, too. So what if Valentin is an international criminal who just tried to kill Jack Brennan in a spa, poisoned Carly with polonium, and switched out Sonny's bipolar meds? He is our international criminal — and we love him just the way he is, tears and all.

Chase is still the bestest

Harrison Chase will go to the ends of the Earth to defend his wife's honor, and we wouldn't have it any other way. We never see a man like Chase on soaps. Heck, we have yet to find one like him in real life, but we have to believe there are Harrison Chases out there to spare. If not, we still would like Brook Lynn to lend us her husband, even for a day. (A week? A year?)

Drew is still the worstest, but he's made the wrong enemies

Drew keeps hitting all-time lows, and it never gets better. No, we don't trust that he is offering to help Kai for altruistic reasons. Drew never does anything for the good of anyone but himself anymore.

His relationship with Willow is disgusting enough. Watching Willow fawn all over this horrible, horrible man is painful, but not as painful as what Drew wants to do to his own family. How do you redeem a character who is willing to destroy the mausoleum where not only his grandparents and father are laid to rest but his own son? Did Drew forget that Oscar is in that crypt? The crypt he wants bulldozed with the bodies still in there? How does anyone justify this?

Tracy sure doesn't. And neither does Emma. Boomer and Gen Z are united against Drew, just as it should be. Really, Drew, don't ever, ever go after Tracy Q.

Till next week, GH scoopers, when we see if our favorite recurring character survives the insanity of his former stepdaughter... (Where are our prayer emojis for Ric Lansing?)

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