Go on, take the money and run

If Billy Mack was the detective down in New York instead of Uncle Mac, Johnny and Lulu would not have escaped justice.

If Billy Mack was the detective down in New York instead of Uncle Mac, Johnny and Lulu would not have escaped justice. But instead, they got away, and escaped justice to an apartment that just happens to have tenants who had a family member killed by Johnny's family. What a coinky-dink.

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Anthony Zacharra is way off base about his kids; Claudia is absolutely the brainier Zacharra. If she knew that Lourdes was on to Johnny's true identity, she would have sent him to Canada by now, but no, Johnny is convinced his skills with the ivory and dashing good looks will keep Lourdes from snitching.

If a mob boss had killed my Dad and I discovered his son was on the run from a murder charge, I would be dialing 911 to turn him in no matter how gorgeous he was or how brilliantly he played piano. When Johnny says he has no part in his family business, he's lying. Everything he owns has been bought with blood money. Note that Johnny and Claudia don't have jobs yet can afford a penthouse apartment- so Anthony's dirty money still funds their lifestyles although he pretends to be repulsed by it. Thus, even though Johnny didn't pull the trigger to kill Lourdes' dad, he is involved because he knows what his Dad does, and still stays around to live off the profits of his family's criminal pursuits. That makes him partially guilty, in my humble opinion.

But, apparently Lourdes is so smitten with Johnny that she is willing to overlook her father's murder to flirt with Johnny and possibly teach him Spanish. Ol!

Carly is nearly as pathetic as Lourdes, going so far as to hideaway on Jax's jet and handcuff him to her side to try to make him stay. Hey girls, here is Momma Lou's advice for you. If a guy loves you, you won't have to chase after him or slap handcuffs on him to keep him with you. If a guy loves you, he takes action, he does something about it. He wants to be with you, and you don't have to force it. If he wanders off, don't chase him down. If he gives up on you, let him. His loss.

If Carly were wise, she would happily go about her life, and get on with it. Maybe she should start dating someone else and see how Jax would feel about it if she wasn't smitten with him anymore. Certainly Carly shares a lot of the blame in the breakup of their relationship, but Jax has done his fair share too. And worst of all, Carly was right about him bailing on relationships. He is great at starting love affairs and terrible at keeping them because when things get tough, he packs a bag.

If I was Carly's BFF, I would say "Carly- go home, visit Michael in the hospital, play with Morgan, and run your hotel. I know you love Jax, but he walked away without a backwards glance. You don't need him. He promised he would stay with you and he lied. You just lost a son, he should be supporting you and helping you through your grief and instead he bailed on you. Why not date that rock start Eli Love, I hear he's up for grabs."

As to Eli Love played by the ever adorable Rick Springfield, I really liked the new song "What's Victoria's Secret" but I doubt we will hear Eli singing again anytime soon since Anna drop kicked him at the Nurses Station after discovering he had a kid he was neglecting. This will give more air time to the fabulous Dr. Noah Drake, also played by the still hot Rick Springfield. Have I mentioned enough times how handsome I think he is? Just in case I haven't - Wow that Rick Springfield is still really smoking hot.

His son of course, the much beleaguered Patrick Drake, is also quite enjoyable to behold, but looks aside, he is really starting to come into his own as a prospective Daddy now that Robin isn't fighting him at every turn. She has been far too busy hiring gangsters to arrange fake kidnappings so Eli could see Anna in super spy butt kicking mode, and renting out a room that wasn't hers to the smarmy Dr. Matt Hunter.

The whole Scooby Doo mystery plot line is just not capturing my attention. Lucky and Sam secretly meeting in clinic exam rooms, Nadine trying to get Dr. Matt to offer her a job in an illegal drug smuggling ring, Nikolas arguing with Nadine about whether or not she is allowed to be a spy - it's all a bit of a snore to me. Tragically because I write this column, I can't do what I want to do and just zip past it, I have to sit through every torturously dull scene in this misguided plot.

One of my astute readers pointed out a very important point- Sam, as you may recall was once the host of the very popular TV series Everyday Heroes - and was followed by paparazzi everywhere and was quite the celebrity for awhile. So how is it that now she can go undercover as a salvage ship captain for an international mob boss, and neither he nor any of his associates recognize Sam from her TV glory days? Very curious. And now that Jerry has caught her in action, she may be forced to partner with her old arch enemy to stay alive.

Speaking of arch enemies, Ric is certainly having a field day trying to stir up the animosity between Jason and Sonny. He was near giddy with delight to be able to inform Jason about Sonny's double dealings with Karpov behind Jason's back. Jason told Ric he didn't believe him, but believed him enough to have Spinelli research it and unravel the ugly truth - Sonny has gotten payments from Karpov. Is this a Mob war in the making? Or, the final end of the most solid friendship on GH? Sonny and Jason have been like brothers for years, but ever since Michael was shot the tension between them has built a wall between them which gets higher and thicker each day. Can it be repaired, or Ric get his way and break up the dynamic duo?

Although everyone in Port Charles is still talking about Michael, I would like to point out that no one is actually going to visit Michael. Another piece of unsolicited advice - if you know someone who is sick or injured or can't get out- go visit them.

No one can go to visit Lulu, as they don't know where she is, but something tells me that won't be true for long. She is having freaky visions of Logan with a bloody knife sticking out of him, so fairly soon I predict she will be having visits from people when they lock her up in Shadybrook next to Laura. I think Johnny better volunteer to be the official carrot cutter from now on if Lulu is going to go into a trance every time she touches a knife.

One former rehab girl is back on the loose - welcome home to Monica Quartermaine. We have missed you, Dr. Q. Poor Monica ran into Liz and Jason in the park and was lamenting to Liz how much she wanted grandchildren and how sad she was about losing Michael, while she stood just two inches from her grandson Jake, and Liz said nothing. But we all know it will come out eventually. Someday that kid will need a bone marrow transplant or something and one of the Q's will be the match. (Not Monica however; she is not really Jason's biological Mom for you newcomers.)

What will happen tomorrow? Will Spinelli ever learn to close his laptop when he sees Maxie entering the room? Will Lulu's next recipe for chicken casserole actually call for chicken instead of just vegetables? Will Nikolas ever think of Nadine as anything but a little sister? (Which is not a complement as his little sister is totally crazy.) Will Lucky ever go out and investigate his sister's supposed kidnapping instead of hanging around all day making out with Sam in the free clinic? Will Kate become curious about why her fiance suddenly has a new Russian friend whom he only meets with in secret? Will Mike gamble away the expensive cufflinks Kate bought him in Paris even though he laughed at the idea?

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