Coming out of the dark

How long will Marlena's secret be a secret? Who are baby Bonnie's real parents? Is it time to cut Rope lose? Let's discuss it all in this week's Two Scoops.

I've given John some shade in the past, but he earned every one of his spy stripes this time. Apparently, the DNR was real (which I still challenge, but whatevs.) Once the board ruled that Marlena needed to be taken off life support, John sprung into action, enlisting Roman and Kayla to break Hattie Adams out of prison, switch her with Marlena, and store Marlena down in the basement of the hospital. He did it all on no sleep and a diet of hospital coffee and sister fights.

The man may have just earned himself my best vet award at the 2018 Golden Donuts.

Sure, there is some foolishness to overlook here. Roman told the warden that Hattie snitched on Bonnie, and Bonnie was out for revenge. So, Hattie needed to be transferred, and Roman volunteered to oversee it. The warden saw nothing wrong with releasing a prisoner into the custody of a private citizen, because of course he didn't.

And I could get all moral on Kayla breaking the rules, but I'm not. If someone's going to bend the rules, I'm okay with it being Kayla in this situation for Marlena. She's not hurting any other patients. And Belle was only proxy because of a technicality. In Kayla's mind, Marlena was married to John and would want him to have a say. So, I'm not mad at Kayla for showing sympathy to John's position.

Plus, now that "Marlena" is awake, we get another round of Deidre Hall playing Hattie. It's such a fantastic little display of acting on Deidre's part. Plus, it gives Drake and Deidre a chance to show off an element of their chemistry we haven't seen since the Robo John and Marlena days. I always think Hattie's going to overstay her welcome. But she doesn't.

Nope. We leave that role for Bonnie. She's still here. Glorious.

Here's my prediction sure to go wrong. That baby is Mimi's. The baby's name is Bonnie. Mimi named the baby after the mom who took a murder rap for her and went to jail. (It's the same reason Will should name his son "Lucas," but I digress.) That explains why baby Bonnie and go-away Bonnie share the same DNA.

As for the baby daddy, it's one of Lucas' brothers. I just don't know which one. Mimi had a relationship with Rex -- Kate's biological son. Meeme and Rex could have reunited and had a baby. Rex and Lucas are half-brothers, so the baby would share genetic markers of a Roberts.

The other option is Philip. About a thousand years ago, Belle and Philip went on a double date with their good friends Shawn and Mimi to do IVF. You know, as friends often do. There was a mix-up and Mimi's egg ended up with Philip's sperm. (Still would like an update on whatever happened to Tyler Kiriakis!) There's the absolute possibility that there was more than one embryo and Meems pulled a Chloe, having the embryo implanted in a surrogate to produce a baby with Roberts DNA.

But for now, Bonnie is using the baby to force Lucas into getting Adrienne to drop the charges against Bonnie. I don't see why he doesn't go through with everything, have her cleared for her past crimes, and then once the baby is safe, arrest Bonnie for rape. I don't know why people keep acting like this was a drunken one-night stand. Bonnie was pretending to be someone else, which has to be some sort of criminal fraud. I need Olivia Benson in Salem right away, if not sooner, to sort this out.

The good news is I don't think Hope planted that evidence against Ben! The bad news is Hope can't tell the difference between real and fake evidence. So rather than being corrupt, she's just incompetent. Super. That's progress.

So, who planted the evidence? As much as it pains me, I'm starting to suspect my boy Tripp. He rightfully assumes Ben is a threat to his relationship with Ciara and practically glowed with delight when Hope came to arrest Ben.

Of course, all of this could be avoided if these crazy kids would just listen to me and realize Tripp belongs with Claire. Sure, she planted an uninvited kiss on him, but he didn't protest. And, yeah, she keeps bringing up Ciara's feelings for Ben, but she's not inaccurate in that respect. The good news for both Tripp and Claire is that Ciara's got to forgive them. She thinks a serial killer can change. She'll look ridiculous if she holds a grudge against Tripp and Claire.

Speaking of Ciara, I'm not buying her sudden about-face on Ben. Everyone, including Rafe and Shawn, is suspicious of this evidence. Ciara has to be, too. There's no way she's done with Ben.

I, however, am d.o.n.e. with Gabi. That's the last straw. What she did was unforgivable, despicable and horrid. After all I've done for her, defending her, looking on the bright side, she's going to make me sit through Chabigabi again?! No ma'am. Nuh-uh. No, thank you. That's a bad choice.

Oh, the rest of it I'm okay with. (Well, except for drugging a pregnant woman. It's nice that she confirmed the meds were safe for pregnancy, but it still didn't make it any easier to watch.) But the rest rest is pretty darn soapy goodness.

Camila Banus is rocking the bad girl role, and her plan to commit Abigail to a mental hospital and then pull the rug out from under Stefan is downright good. Even Kate seemed impressed, which isn't easy to do. The fact that it's part of Gabi's plan to return the baby to Chad makes me slightly angry. But still, I'd rather see Gabi scheme to get the things she lost back -- a child, her company, a man who won't sleep with someone else -- rather than see her out for revenge.

Furthermore, with Chad and Abigail on their way out of Salem and Stefan's future somewhat uncertain, Gabi's the one we're going to have around at the end of all of this. Ron needs to inject some humanity into this so that Gabi isn't completely ruined. More scenes with J.J. and Sonny seem like a good place to start.

LOOSE ENDS: I'm all aboard the Broe friendship train. Only Nadia Bjorlin could make the line, "You're my favorite walking disaster" as charming as it came out. And the look of disbelief on Brady's face when Chloe announced she was there for relationship advice was hilarious. Well done, Mr. Martsolf. I want a double date with Brady/Eve and Lucas/Chloe before the Nicole stuff hits the fan.

Jenny Bear finally saw the light of the dark side, so to speak. I'm here for it, as I'm not a Jeneric fan. The longer she keeps quiet, the more likely this pair will split.

I'm not too thrilled with the way Chad is being bent out of shape for this Gabi vs. Abigail plot to work. First, he lost a child he never knew. Gabi knows that. Gabi named her own child after that baby! So, for Gabi to keep Chad in the dark about any child is pretty crappy. Second, Chad was raised by a man who wasn't his biological father. It was a rough relationship, to say the least. Knowing what we do about Chad, it rings more true to his character for Chad to vow never to let another kid go through and accept "Stefan Jr." with open arms.

Petty theft attempt aside, Sheila would make a good part-time fixture around Salem. Can she work at the pub with Roman so she can have regular reality-check sessions with some of our favorite Salemites?

Hey! Remember when we were waiting for Eric to stop standing there, not taking any blame for tackling a drugged person holding a loaded gun? Yeah, we're still waiting. Come on, padre. Tick, tock.

Any good lawyer should use the fact that Rafe took Sami to see Marlena as strong evidence that Sami isn't guilty of attempted murder. If he actually believed her to be a danger, he wouldn't have taken her back to the "victim."

"She was disoriented. She was on all kinds of medication. She didn't know what she was saying." For the record, medication can excuse Marlena, not Sami. I know Salem justice is hard to keep track of.

Shawn and Belle meeting to talk in the town square was one of the few scenes where storylines could overlap, making viewers feel like the storylines are a bit more cohesive. Reason number 8,293 for Shelle to be a permanent part of Salem.

HOT: Chloe came to grill Bonnie, and I had my #TeamChloe foam finger waving! Bonnie started off calling Chloe "Ghoul Girl" which actually made my Last Blast-loving heart a little happy. But Chloe struck back, asking, "Isn't that uterus of yours too dusty to carry a child?" Harsh? Sure. But we're all thinking that because, again, Bonnie has a son old enough to date Hope. Finally, this interchange happened (I'm paraphrasing): Bonnie: "I spent ten years in prison. I can handle you, Opera Girl." Chloe: "I gutted El Fideo, beeyotch. Step up off me." Consider the opera mic dropped.

NOT: Someone needs to cut the Rope loose. This pair is fraying my last nerve. Okay, I'll stop with the bad puns.

Here's the deal, Rafe didn't technically do anything wrong when he slept with Sami. Hope had given him back his ring and sent him on his way. However, the speed at which he ended up in someone else's bed would be hard for most people to deal with. It doesn't make Hope a bad person for not being able to get past that. It makes her quite normal.

However, when Rafe asked her how long she was going to punish him for it, I nodded my head in agreement. Indeed, how long are we going to suffer through this same plot point? Seeing Hope try to present Rafe taking Sami to see her dying mother as a character flaw on Rafe's part was just maddening. Hope is better than that. She knows the heartbreak of taking a family member off life support. She wouldn't have behaved like such a jealous headcase. Sigh. These two exhaust me.

LINE OF THE WEEK: Hattie Edition Sorry. I can't pick just one! (to John): "Head on over to the Brady Pub...while you're there, you can get me a cup of hot, steaming Roman!"

John, "I was just telling Hattie how important it was to accurately portray Marlena." Hattie: "I'm thinking she'd want some pudding cups and a steak!"

(to Roman): "Who do I have to shoot to get a decent burger around here?"

(to Belle): "Did you ask for the "Sorry I Almost Killed My Mom" bouquet?"

RANDOM THOUGHTS: There was a map of Illinois behind Roman.

I like how Hattie refers to herself in the third person. It's very Mr. T of her.

At least Chloe calls to check on her children. See how that works, Sami?

Boo, Chad. Abigail's got to get a two-year-old to get out the door. You, sir, should be packing the picnic basket with your own favorites.

It was a nice touch they played harmonica music during Kayla's phone call with Steve. I'm sure they did the same when someone finally told Tripp why Steve hasn't been around for a while.

The real problem here is that Ted isn't around to take Ciara's call! I wonder if Claire will convince Belle to represent Ben in order to keep Ciara occupied. That move would also tick Sami off, which Belle seems to be into these days.

Oh, Hope. No, girl, you cannot claim you respect the law. Know the law? Have heard of the law? Can spell law? Those I'll allow.

Baby Bonnie turning to look right at Shelila when she said, "Hey, little mama" was the cutest thing I'll see all year.

Gabi may be bad. But there's nothing wrong with her fringed shoes. Love!

When the Nicole secret hits the fan, which friend will Chloe side with? Nicole or Eve?

For the record, if Sami showed up with flowers for Marlena and a desire to "just make her understand," people would tar and feather her in the town square. Belle does it, and it's cool.

I want J.J. to be my little brother too. Dude is super helpful!

I need to know what type of workout plan Gabi's on to be able to carry a pregnant Abigail up the stairs by herself.

It took me a minute to realize why Lucas would be up to date on Paul's health. That's a sign Lucas and Will need more father/son scenes.

Eli said he thinks about Lani's laugh. I honestly don't know what Lani's laugh sounds like. Anyone?

If we're going to give anyone credit for being the go-to DNA switcher, it shouldn't be Sami. All she did was forge some paperwork. Big Mama Caroline got into the computer system and hacked data. She should get the credit!

I wanted to see the scene where Abe talked with John about Paul's paralysis. Abe can relate to that from a father standpoint.

Eve planting the drugs on Theresa seems to be coming back around. Anyone up for an update on Leo's death?

Doesn't Belle technically work for Stefan now? Shouldn't we see them interact sometime?

That's it for this week! Tony will be back next week to see if Hattie needs someone to walk her down the aisle. He's a sucker for a good party. Plus, he heard there'll be pudding cups involved.

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