Risky business

From the boardroom to the bedroom, DAYS got a little down and dirty as February Sweeps swept into Salem -- though there seemed to be more losers than winners. Let's try to clean up the mess in this week's Two Scoops!

Last week, I was excited for February Sweeps to start. Storylines usually explode into Must-See-TV. We're usually in for some shock and awe. There's usually one big event that brings Salemites together only to blow things up. Yeah, last week I was so excited. Then Sweeps got off to a rocky start...

The Steve/Ava saga got messy fast. On a positive note, Stephen Nichols and Tamara Braun were brilliant. And Kayla's free. That's the best I can say about the storyline right now. Joey summed it up best by saying, "I think I'm going to puke." Hand me the bucket, Young Johnson, I'm next in line.

Ultimately, I found it totally unnecessary for things to go as far as they did between Steve and Ava. It's a little ridiculous, actually. Steve had the woman handcuffed to an end table. She wasn't going anywhere. I completely get that he was worried about Kayla, but Steve is pretty scrappy and has an unlimited number of resources he could have tapped before freeing Ava and being blackmailed into sex.

Please note, I'm not blaming Steve here. He and Kayla are the victims. He did what he thought he had to do to save Kayla. I'm simply blaming the writers for putting Steve in that ludicrous situation. Let's take a look at some of the alternative ways this could have played out instead of repeating a similar controversial storyline that wasn't that fun the first time around.

To start, I'll repeat, Steve had the bad guy handcuffed to an end table. He's starting a private detective agency with John. He is a former ISA agent. He has friends in low places. He has friends in reputable places. He could have kept Ava handcuffed while someone hacked into her phone, back-traced her GPS, and found Kayla. Or perhaps someone could have looked into Ava's finances to see if she rented a shady, out-of-the-way evil lair lately. Maybe put a tracking device in her purse, set her free, and follow her as she feeds and waters Kayla. See, other options with just as much intrigue and the ability to loop in other characters who could use the screen time.

Let's look at some of the other Salemites who could have lent a hand. He could have called John (his future business partner/day drinking buddy), Roman, Abe, Shane, Rafe, or, hell, he could have reached out to Victor -- that shorty owes him a solid. Worst-case scenario, he could have hugged Caroline, and she could have ESP'ed her way to Kayla. Steve was all about her vibes before, and considering how accurate she was at finding Bo -- her "visions" so accurate that she could read signs on the wall of the med lab -- it's hard to believe Steve didn't seek her soothsayer skillset.

Again, I'm not blaming Steve. It's just insulting that the writers reduced a man with so many means to a notch in Ava's headboard for shock value. It wasn't so much "shocking" as it was an unnecessary desperate move. But speaking of "move," let's move on...

Cheers to Kate! I'm glad she took the "Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves" approach to finding funding for Basic Black. No offense to Eduardo or Deimos, but Kate doesn't need an Ike to her Tina. Now she won't have to answer to anyone. Basic Black is hers, and no man can pull that rug out from under her. I love that. Though she should be warned, her boss can be a real bitch sometimes.

And now that Kate is sole owner of Basic Black, Theresa and Nicole (with a little help from Brady's bankroll) are starting their own company. Sure, it will be fun to see all the sass when they go up against Kate. And I'm sure they'll hire Anne, though if they couldn't get her out of her contract with Basic Black and she was forced to work with Kate, that might be a little -- and by "little" I mean "a lot" -- hilarious, but I digress. I'd love this idea so much more if it weren't for two things...

One, it' clearly setting up a Theresa/Brady/Nicole/Dr. Dead's Heart love triangle, err, love quad. Let's file that under, "No, Thank You." I really don't have a desire to see this play out, especially since there are other reasons why Brady and Nicole might be drawn to one another aside from Dr. Dan's heart.

Two, the freaking company's name is "D.J. Designs" formerly known by the equally bad idea of "D.J. Wear." That "D.J." stands for "Daniel Jonas." Seriously, writers? Calm the funk down and get off the Jonas train. The ride is over. But again, I digress...

I understand Nicole (Theresa and Brady) wanting to do something nice for Dead Dr. Dan, but there are alternate ways. They could go to the flipping memorial that's still cluttering up the town square. More so, they're already donating a percentage of their profits to a charity that Dr. Dude would have selected by asking themselves, "What would Daniel do?" Isn't that enough? Who are they going to market this "D.J. Designs" to, anyway? Are there really that many surfing doctors out there?

This storyline is like that episode of Sex And The City when all of Carrie's friends grew tired of her going on and on and on about Mr. Big and basically told her to get some therapy because she's driving them nuts. It's exhausting. It's not fun. And I'm sick of hearing about it. Though I guess the writers are treating this storyline with advice from Strangers With Candy's Jerri Blank. She said, "If you're gonna reach for a star, reach for the lowest one you can." There's that.

LOOSE ENDS: Brady had more daydreams Dandreams. In related news, Lifetime TV circa the mid '90s called Brady. They want their Made for TV movie back.

I really like the Lucas/Eric/Jennifer dynamics. It spotlights Lucas and his past problems, which is always a win, and I like that Jennifer isn't afraid of tough love. I've joked about this, but is Jennifer really, I mean, really a painkiller addict yet? The accident happened, like, a few days ago Salem time (a month in reality). I'd say that's a normal timeframe for someone to be on meds. Besides, Jennifer hasn't put on dark lipstick and beaten a guy, or killed anyone. We've seen how Hortons party on pills, amIright, Hope and Nick? So, I'd say Jennifer is okay for now (and more fun when high; please reference any and all things Book Club related).

It's hard to remember sometimes that the character of J.J. doesn't know the same things we do as an audience. From that aspect, I get why he throws Chad shade. I mean, he doesn't know Chad's been nothing but apologetic and remorseful for his past misdeed (the brain tumor lie thingy), or that Chad feels worse about how he treated Abs while trying to push her away to save her from Stefano, or that Chad nearly crumbled when he realized how much he hurt her while brainwashed. Oh, wait. J.J. does know that. I guess he thinks she'd be better off with Ben? Shut it down, J.J. and let Chabigail alone. Just because J.J.'s seen the light and reformed his bad ways doesn't mean he gets to become the next Dr. Dan.

I'm with Claire. I'd much rather Eve stick around and mentor her. Belle can hang out with Philip while Claire has singing lessons. It's not like Belle needs a reason to ditch Claire to be with Philly anyway.

Um, yeah. Philip told Belle he's worried she won't look at him the same way if she found out about the things he's done. Does he remember his ugly actions against her when he found out that Claire wasn't his child? I'm pretty sure she's forgiven him (as recently as Vegas). He need not worry, methinks. Anyway...

Philip told Belle that he was with a girl in Chicago who overdosed. She was a partier and the daughter of a surly police captain. He moved the dead girl's body to another hotel room as to not get into trouble. Deimos had men watching Philip, and that's the blackmail his uncle has on him.

Okay, that's a pretty legit story, but there's no way I believe that Philip wouldn't have reached out to Victor in the first place. Vic is pretty handy in those kinds of situations. Though that does make me wonder who Philip's friend is who helped him out. Hmm, maybe Laurisa and I will be getting another one of our DAYS' dreams granted.

Hello there, Paul! Nice to see you. I'm sorry the scenes you had seemed like an afterschool special. At least the payoff was a nice J.J. and Gabi scene. Though I'm holding out hope that this article rings true and didn't pertain to Paul's scenes last week.

Yes, Roman -- J.J. did graduate the Police Academy at warp speed! That's okay, though. I'm ready to see this rookie on the force with Lani and Shawn-Douglas. Yes, I said Shawn-D! He's on the force now, too. I'm all about him following in Bope's footsteps (well, their earlier footsteps anyway). Plus, it gets Shawn-D out of the house, and maybe he'll bump into a lovely lady like -- oh, hey, Lani! Have you met Shawn yet? Just asking.

Sure, I'm disappointed that Chase was the one who bullied Theo, but the storyline actually played out much better than expected. Chase was sincerely remorseful, and Jonathon McClendon completely crushed his scenes. The depths of Theo's hurt and heartbreak over being bullied was superbly played out by Kyler Pettis. And Vivian Jovanni was spot on as Ciara tried to navigate her mixed-up feelings including her sympathy for Theo, the betrayal by Chase, and how she can move on from it. I sincerely like all three of these characters and look forward to seeing how they deal with the continued fallout of this reveal. The icing on the cake was Hope's reaction -- that of unwavering concern and love for Chase as well as convincing him to apologize to Theo. Well played, Fancy Face!

In other Hope News, she continued to flirt-but-not-flirt with Rafe and worry about Andre. Andre continued to vow vengeance and recruit an utterly uninterested Chad. It was a lot of continued set-up, but from what I've seen, things get hot between this crew next week. Stay tuned!

HOT

Three more cheers for Jonathon McClendon, Kyler Pettis, and Vivian Jovanni! #lovethem

NOT I haven't been this disappointed in a Groundhog Day since I was a teenager and lost my prime spot at Gobbler's Knob to a woman wearing a large leopard print jacket, but alas, the writers broke my heart a bit this February 2nd by not crafting an exit storyline for the classy, talented Kassie DePaiva. Really? Eve got yelled at by a jealous, guilty Belle and then had a heart-to-heart with Eduardo. Oh, and now she's in New York with Claire (which is all off-screen). And that's it. No, really, that's it? Not one last fight with Jennifer, seeing Theresa and Tater Tot, or a final breakdown at Paige's gravesite. Nope. None of that. Spoiler Alert: expect Eve's non-exit exit to make a cameo at the Tenth Annual Alex North Memorial Awards in December.

LINE OF THE WEEK J.J. (to Abigail): "Nonno's house? Nonno's house of horrors, you mean. No, it's great because when Thomas gets a little bigger, he can play Dungeons and Dragons in a real dungeon."

TRUE 'DAT LINE OF THE WEEK Philip: "Belle, the sun does not rise and set on that fair head."

RANDOM THOUGHTS Hope joked with Rafe by saying, "You're so smug." Um, if I had a dollar for every time someone's said that about Rafe I could buy the DiMera estate.

Chad and Harold's short conversation cracked me up. Though Andre's voicemail to Chad was pretty hilarious, too.

Am I alone in wanting Dr. Baker to make a cameo as the doctor who had a hand in stealing Steve and Ava's son and selling him? That's totally up Dick's alley!

Jenny Bear speed walks pretty quickly for a woman with back issues. It must be the heels. They give her power.

I wonder if Hope gave the guards codenames to use for Ciara and Chase. Like, "Mini Me and Flapjack left the building."

I think it's funny that Adrienne has control of Sonny's stocks in Club TBD, since it was once the site of the coffee shop, which used to be the Cheatin' Heart, which Adrienne owned when she returned to Salem.

Mark your calendars! The first week in February seems to be "Take Out Your Issues on Theo Week." I'll be ready for next year.

Doesn't Victor own a club where Philip could take his dates?

Okay. I laughed. I did. When Joey entered his home and had flashbacks of him and Ava as well as Ava and Steve while those Bionic Man sounds played and everything was in slow motion, I laughed. A lot.

Oh! I think I discovered Ava's true identity! I think she's the Baroness from G.I. Joe. The cobra snake tattoos, the same logo in the pit where she kept Kayla, and her general femme fatale-ness. Hmm!

I love that Eddie is looking out for John. He may want to rethink Patch as a partner and enlist Eduardo instead.

Yeah! Shawn-D brought up Aunt Kim. I think it's time for her crazy ass to make a visit to Salem, you know, since she missed Bo's funeral and all.

Not that I want to perpetuate the mourning for St. Dr. Dan of Jonas, but it's a wonder that neither Sarah nor Melissa's names were brought up. Never mind. Maggie only had one child.

In that vein, I'm still shocked Maxine didn't turn up to grieve for her fallen friend. Then again, maybe she got hurt in the stampede of people who rushed to the square to assemble that memorial and is buried underneath it.

In related Dr. Dead news, below is a quick breakdown of the number of times these phrases continued to be used. Note: I may have missed some while rolling my eyes. Brady's heart keeps Dr. Dan alive: 2 "Daniel would have wanted": 3 (and a 4th implied) The number of times I rolled my eyes and exclaimed "Ugh!": Upper hundreds, but lost track

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of February 8. Are you ready to fall in love with DAYS on Valentine's Day, or does the recent state make you want to break up? Be sure to Tweet, leave feedback below, or call the hotline to discuss! And, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

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