Oh what a circus, oh what a show

Come one, come all! Grab your top hat, megaphone, and tamer's whip because Salem has new ringleaders. Are the new writers writing the right stuff? Are they clowning around? Or is it too early to tell? Plus, find out who really killed Serena in this eye-patch praising edition of Two Scoops!

What a week in Salem, eh!? It seems like DAYS is getting back to that old promo that stated (and I'm paraphrasing), "Miss a day, miss a lot." And I like it! Truth be told, I felt like I needed a chore board to keep track of everything. There were housecleaning duties, storyline set-ups, party planning, surprise visitors, and murder. Yes, murder! But let's not get all choked up about that yet because there's a little order of business first...

Patch is back, y'all! The ber-talented Stephen Nichols is back in Salem, right where he belongs. I couldn't be happier. He's an amazing actor that brings an amazing character to life. Mary Beth Evans will get more airtime, and that is never, ever a bad thing. And Patch isn't going to sit on the sidelines when things get wicked, which is sure to lead to some fun, retro action and adventure that DAYS has sorely been missing. I'm in. I'm definitely in.

And speaking of being "in," we got our first glimpse of another legendary DAYS dweller -- Bo is back, too. Well, sort of. We saw him locked in a dungeon-like room at the end of Friday's episode. Hello, cliffhanger! Welcome back.

I'll be honest, though -- I'm a little nervous. Right now, it sort of smells like Jack's trip to Afghanistan, and that didn't end well for Jack -- or Jack and Jennifer fans. At all. I'm cautiously optimistic that the new writers will avoid the same pitfalls when it comes to Bo. He was facedown in a cage, which beats Jack falling facefirst into a cake. There's that. Crossing fingers in five, four, three, two...

One thing's for sure, I could have been drinking scotch with a cooler version of Serena, but she goes and gets herself killed! Not fair. Though I may have lost a potential drinking buddy in Serena, this murder mystery already has promise. Mainly, Billy Flynn has a comfy seat on center stage, and I'm more than confident that this will be a good show. Do I think Chad strangled Serena? Absolutely, positively not. He's definitely a red herring. So, who is the killer then? That's the million-dollar question!

There're a lot of suspects. My main hunch is that the elephant statue killed Serena for revenge on dragging down the good name of elephant statues for so long. I kid, I kid. We all know it was the former writers' botch job that killed Serena. That is a shame because lovely and talented Melissa Archer should be knee-deep in her third or fourth storyline by now. Instead, we got a lackluster statue storyline that went on for way too long then a brief glimmer of hope seeing her flirting then not flirting with Chad. And then she died. But I digress (and hope to see Melissa back in a new or re-casted role soon).

With that rant ranted, let's look at the real suspects. Clyde (or one of his men) could have easily done it to frame Chad. That wouldn't be a stretch. Of course, now that Aiden's shadier side has come out to play, he can't be entirely ruled out, either. But I'm not so sure I'm ready to dive onto that theory, even with one dead wife under his belt, because Clyde has one of those, too. There's always room for a wild card, or someone we haven't seen in Salem for a while, someone who's been lurking in the shadows. Though right now, my money is on...

Ben! He has motive (to frame Chad) and, let's be honest, he has a hair-trigger temper and doesn't always play well with others. Sure, it sounds like I'm doing Ben Math. You know, how he quickly deduced that Chad was the killer because Chad was a drunk, mad DiMera. Logical as that is, I think that was just to rattle Abigail, who doesn't seem at all convinced that Chad could kill anyone.

In fact, Abigail seems a bit more smitten with Chad since he took his ultra-cool stance and stood up to Stefano. His "This Man" speech was awesome. Okay, I was swooning, too. That was a brave thing to do. But of course Abby isn't ready to admit to her feelings for Chad just yet, but that's probably for the best, since she thinks she's having Ben's baby. Right.

LOOSE ENDS: "Shaden" shouldn't surprise me. That's my portmanteau for "Shady Aiden." We've been wondering about him all along, and that's thanks to Daniel Cosgrove's multilayered talents. He's been brilliantly keeping Aiden's "is he or isn't he" shadiness close to his vest. So, I guess it shouldn't be too much of a shocker that Shaden has finally surfaced full force, but I'm a little saddened nonetheless. It's sort of like watching the first three installments of Star Wars. You know Anakin is going to end up on the dark side but keep wishing he wouldn't. Stay strong, Fancy Face -- we've got your back!

Whew! Good thing Nicole got her money from Serena when she did. That was a fast civil suit turnaround. I guess the fat lady's song for the end of this storyline was more like a 30-second jingle, but that's okay. I'm anxious for the next step -- seeing what Nicole's big plans are for her newfound fortune. She said she wants to open a business. I'll admit it. I'm curious. I just hope she doesn't invest in something next to the park. That place's stock is plummeting thanks to all the murder and drug dealing. I guess that makes the pier the new safest place in Salem. Who would have thought!?

Oh, Eric. Turn it down, Judge Judy. I know that he was the grand marshal of the Serena Day Parade when she first came to Salem, but that was two elephant statues and some blood diamonds ago. He needs to back off Nicole and let her vent a little. You know, "vent," like the one Xander put Nicole and Eric into a few weeks ago. Yeah, I'd still be steamed about that, too.

I adore Jen Lilley to no end, but Theresa needs a master plan or else she needs to get off the plotting pot. Her schemes of the week are getting a bit redundant, as are Brady's scoldings. Truth: he's absolutely justified in his feelings toward her, and I'll take strong, stern Brady over chump Brady anyday. There's that. But I feel like they both need more of a storyline right now. Perhaps Brady can partner up with Nicole, and Theresa can help destroy J.J., you know, in a way that won't get him killed.

Okay, okay, I enjoy Evil Eve to some degree, but she's bringing a bazooka to a gunfight. I get that she's mad, as misdirected as that is because, let's face it, she's pulling a Will and blaming everyone for her problems when she was just as willing to jump into bed with her daughter's boyfriend, but for argument's sake, let's say she wants revenge. Endangering J.J.'s life (and possibly Paige's) isn't the way to go about it. She could have easily manipulated Kyle into passing the buck (and meth) to J.J., making him the fall guy. Instead, she's pretty much painted a target on J.J.'s back. You'd think with the difficulty she's had rebounding from sleeping with her daughter's boyfriend, she'd be a little more careful with plans.

Seriously, Julie? Wasn't she the woman who clutched her chest and screeched to the high heavens about poor, misguided, misunderstood cousin St. Nick? And now she's throwing shade at J.J. I repeat, "Seriously, Julie?" Tom and Alice might be disappointed in J.J., but I don't think they'd take too kindly to passing judgment on a family member who obviously needs help, either.

So, John wants to focus on Marlena and his ISA work and has decided to sell his interests in Basic Black. Um, why doesn't he give them to Paul (or Belle, or Brady)? I'd love to see one of his children heading a company that could go head-to-head with Countess W and Mad World.

Wow. Will's talk with Abigail was, um, insightful. I think he really nailed it when he said, "Chad is, to say the least, complicated. There's a lot of drama. There's a lot of baggage." Isn't that the same description -- let's see -- everyone used to describe Will to Sonny? I'd ask Will to elaborate, but he's too busy tending to the daughter he conceived with his incarcerated ex-girlfriend who was married to his psychotic, homophobic cousin she killed, blaming Paul for his failed marriage to Sonny while brushing his own two affairs and subsequent lies under the rug, and rooting for a guy he barely knows over one of his best friends. Got it, Willie.

I'm not best friends with this Irish land saga. Stefano needs to sell an island compound and get over it. I'm sure Clyde would love to have one of Steffie's old fortresses. He seems to like Stefano's hand-me-downs. He's like Chachi trying to emulate the Fonz. Guess what, Clyde -- you're no Stefano. Ayyy!

Speaking of things I'm annoyed with Stefano about, he needs to shut down this "last child" and "only son" jibber jabber. Unless he can provide me with Peter Blake's death certificate, I'm not going to buy that Chad is the only one left. Prove me wrong, Steffie. I'll be waiting by my fax.

HOT

Patch is back! *insert woots of joy*

NOT I really hope the former writers wrote Xander's exit storyline, or else I'm going to be a little nervous. I can't even begin to describe the letdown of wasting a talented actor and thoroughly interesting character all in one beat. I'm also still a bit disappointed in Victor, which takes a lot, because otherwise he's been shining lately. But when he pulled that, "castoff son of my worthless brother" stuff, I was a little put off. Though I shouldn't have been. None of us should. After all, Victor didn't do much to stop Philip from giving away his son, Tyler. I guess Victor and Julie went to the same school of picking important family members and ignoring the others. Sigh.

LINE(S) OF THE WEEK Steve (to Kayla): "Hello, Sweetness. It's been a while, huh?" #sayseveryDAYSfaneverwhere

2015 SUMMER SERIES We're almost there. Almost! There's one installment left of the Two Scoops Summer Series, A Summer's DAYS' Dream! If you've missed any of the fiftieth fun or just want to revisit all the shenanigans, here are the links:

Part One: Dream Girls Part Two: A Few Good Men Part Three: Phantoms of the Soap Opera Part Four: Somewhere out there

RANDOM THOUGHTS Ha! Chad's Stefano impression was pretty impressive, as was his line to Rafe when Detective Hernandez flashed his badge. He said, "Where'd you get that -- a yard sale?"

Joey is 16 now. That proves that constantly baking and eating cookies with your grandma is good for your health and will help you grow into a strapping lad within months. No, literally. He was a kid last December. 'Dem must be some special baked goods.

I can't wait to see this Victorian house set! Though I'm bracing myself for a lot of bushes around the outside and the inside painted Salem Office Blue.

Speaking of the Bicentennial celebration, I hope the Salem Historical Society documents everything in pencil. It will make it much easier for them to correct history the next time it's changed.

I'm loving Marlena lately. She's so much more awesome when she's strong and stoic and not pushing innocent Kristens out of windows.

Besties Nicole and Brady make me happy. I love these two. More, please!

That Chad/Abigail mirror shot was pretty nifty.

Raise your hand if you groaned when Ben called his phone app "the old Abigail tracker." Who said romance is dead?

I loved Nicole's "evil highlander ass" comment to Xander. Well played, Ms. Thang.

The traffic guy and bunnies make Tate laugh. You know what else make's Tate laugh? Not hearing his parents scream at each other.

I'm pretty sure you need a PhD to count all of Robert Scott Wilson's abs.

Adrienne's hair held up well under bungee pressure! Though I'm glad they bungeed before eating waffles. That could have gotten ugly fast.

Um, why can't Victor give the Horton Center money?

God, I'd hate for Julie to draw my name in a holiday gift exchange. If I weren't deemed worthy enough to be a Horton, she'd probably bronze one of Nick's old sweaters and give it to me.

I wonder who Doug will pick for his barbershop quartet. Is it too much to ask to see Doug, Stefano, Victor, and Abe in matching candy-striped jackets and boater hats? What can I say? I dream big.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of August 31! Laurisa will be back next week to see if Steve can patch things up with Kayla and if Bo gets out of the cage. And, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

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