Oh, what a beautiful DAYS

Oh, how the mighty Hortons have fallen! Will, J.J., and Jennifer all got knocked off their self-appointed pedestals and down to earth. And it was glorious.

As I ride through Salem in my surrey with the fringe on top, I have such a happy feeling. What a week on DAYS!

I've got to start with my favorite part. That was Paul clocking Will right in the face. Yes, real-life violence is bad. But this type of soapviolence was cathartic. And the fallout was very interesting as well!

As Will sat there, stunned on the floor like the little worm that he is, he thought up a lie; and he thought it up quick! Why, he claimed that Paul punched him -- completely unprovoked -- leading Sonny to coddle Will back under his um...unfortunately patterned shirt.

Okay, rhyming over.

The truth is that Will made a sneaky-sly move there! Part of me hopes he keeps this up. Plunging Will full-on into baddie might be a good move, because the current version of Will is not working. Hence the reason I may or may not have shot off streamers when Paul decked him.

The problem is that I find it impossible to feel bad for Will when he screws up because he never pays any consequence at all. If Will actually were Sami 2.0, he'd have gotten tossed out on his rear -- just like she always did. But nope, Sonny took a long weekend out of town then returned to Will. Furthermore, Sonny tells any and everyone how much he wants to work on his marriage and how Will is the one that he wants.

Like my genius partner @Tony_S_Days, I'm also sick of Sonny getting no respect. Everyone is definitely in Sonny's business about Will. However, can everyone really be wrong? Will's been calamity after disaster for Sonny. Whether it was covering up attempted murder charges, moving Will's baby and baby mama into Sonny's apartment, forgiving Will for an affair, or coming home to find that Will forgot to tell him he has to travel for work, this is one very imbalanced relationship. Say what you will about Sami, but she stood in front of a gun for E.J. at one point!

So when Paul came to Sonny with hat in hand, it was hard not to scream, "Listen to him!" at my TV. And really, Sonny can't hold that punch against Paul too much. Sonny did throw one at T when T was saying some hateful things. And Sonny protected Ben's job after Ben hit Chad how many times? Even good people can be provoked to do bad things in the heat of the moment. Sonny knows that.

I'm also glad that Paul finally asked how Sonny felt about him because "There can't be anything" isn't exactly an answer. To be fair, Will does have a case for being ticked at Paul. The guy can't get it through his head to leave Will's husband alone. I get why Will lashes out at Paul every chance he gets. However, that conversation only has merit when it comes from Sonny. And so far, "Leave Salem and never come back" hasn't come out of Captain Kiriakis' mouth. But a lot of things came out of Eve and J.J.'s mouths...with Paige actually overhearing them in the other room! I'm shocked. I guess Cousin Joan didn't soundproof her walls like every other room in Salem. Tough break for Jeve. Good for us!

I'm so relieved that the Jeve storyline can move on. It started during Sami's last week on the show. We've had Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and two Kristen exits since then. Tick tock, kids!

And sure, Paige doesn't do a whole lot for me. I have zero emotions invested in this perfectly fine, but oh-so-boring young lady. She's about as exciting as a new bottle of laundry detergent. So, I really couldn't get into this fallout from her end.

However, I'm a sucker for group scenes, so my soap-loving heart was thrilled that we got one of those! I loooooved it when Paige asked Jennifer if she realized what kind of person her son is. Pointing out that Jen is just like Eve was a nice touch too, Paige-a-roo! Yes, and yes! Jennifer has been infuriating to watch. Sticking up for you kid is one thing. Sticking your head in the sand and then donkey-kicking sand in at people who inquire about the status of your head is another. Let's just say Jen's been an excellent jackass lately.

Also getting his comeuppance was J.J. Like with his cousin Will, I really needed someone to kick J.J. right in his Horton ornaments. He got away with everything. He was back with Paige. Daniel and Jennifer were lying for him. Nothing Eve tried worked. They were moving to California. But he just couldn't take the win. It sorta felt like he had to go back and twist the knife in Eve one more time.

Plus, he made one of the more serious boyfriend-fouls. He unilaterally decided that he deserved a second chance with Paige. Sorry, buddy, but that's not your call to make. All of that "I will try to be better for you" was really "I'm so thankful I didn't have to be honest with you to get you back!" Not cool, young Deveraux.

Also not cool? J.J. trotted out Jack's storyline one more time. He actually tried to blame sleeping with her mom on the fact that his dad raped his aunt -- which might actually be the soapiest sentence I've ever typed in all my years of writing about soaps. On the bright side, maybe this will drive him back to drugs again. You remember? Back when he was interesting.

And as for Eve, I'm actually excited for her! This storyline had her isolated on Teen Island for way too long. Now, she's free! Sure, she'll be sad about Paige. But, really, what's going to happen? Is everyone in town going to hate her and she'll have no friends? Exactly how is that different than now?

Maybe Nicole will get assigned a tell-all piece about Eve, and these two will meet for drinks at Rafe's club! Or perhaps J.J. will turn that tape in to the cops then Roman will have to investigate Eve. I'm telling you, Ms. Larson, this is a good thing. Any day that ends with a glass of red wine in that fabulous little black dress you were rocking can't be all bad!

Another winner? Abigail! She laid out a bunch of truth bombs about how J.J. wasn't that weak and Paige wasn't even thought of. A little too heavy on the Paige stuff, but still right on, Abs. Methinks Abigail needs to find out that Jen didn't just go along with that sick deception. It was flat-out her idea. But we'll get there soon.

Finally, Rory should be a mandatory addition to any and all group scenes. He was clearly the MVP. It cracks me up how Rory never misses a chance to hit on Abigail. I love that he sat there, dumbfounded, but still held up his camera to record the whole thing. I swear I caught Suzanne Rogers laughing when Rory's "Oh, dude..." came out. I joined her in that sentiment. And, the awkward high-five between Daniel and Rory was all shades of wonderful.

LOOSE ENDS I'd take Adrienne and Lucas a lot more seriously if the one thing Adrienne didn't take off was her wedding ring. Plus, their plans to go public with their affair seemed odd. Why not just make plans to legally separate from her husband? That way she wouldn't have to deal with all the side-eye she's totally going to get from everyone.

Xander's such a refreshing change. He's the anti-Daniel in every way, right down to Victor hating him. If he's so dangerous, I don't think Serena would just barge into his room whenever she wanted. He and Nicole could have had a wonderful "use each other until they realize they need each other" storyline. #WhatMightHaveBeen

I'm torn on Paul and John. On one hand, the swings in their relationship were way too manic. They went from family bonding to "you hypocrite" awfully fast. However, I like John when he's in this new dad role. And Paul had a point when he said that John wasn't exactly awesome at respecting other people's marriages.

Also the fact that with that one sentence, Paul humbled John and stuck up for Roman makes Paul my mother's personal DAYS hero for the foreseeable future.

Chad and Abigail could be good if handled correctly. Chemistry is subjective, and personally, I don't see any between the two actors. Though, I do like them both. However, the further Abigail gets from that Horton pedestal, the better. And she made a huge step when she admitted that she wasn't fair to Chad. I'm hoping she means before he left Salem because that's one of my big hold-ups with them.

Also, I really, really hope there's a good reason for Stefano to be interested in Abigail. Spideman rules apply here -- with great power comes great responsibility. Stefano's a major card to play in any storyline. So let's hope this secret is more "Queen of the Night" and less "Alice's secret in a Christmas ornament".

Aside from Nicole, Brady has now proposed to or married every woman he's ever dated. Make. It. Stop. Otherwise, I'm going to have to start following him around with a squirt bottle and spraying him each time he starts to go down on one knee. Bad! That's a bad Brady! How delightful are Jen Lilley and Patsy Pease together? Their scene was super short, but they completely sold the complicated relationship between Theresa and Kimberly. We know Theresa and the Tater Tot aren't going anywhere. So, let's send a plane to California for Shane and bring the whole family to Salem. Whatdaya say?

HOT

Whatever they are paying Kassie DePaiva, it isn't enough. This woman managed to squeeze blood (and tears!) from a storyline stone. I fully realize that I am not supposed to like Eve. She's an absolute monster of a mother with little to no redeeming qualities. But Kassie adds that ever-important layer of self-loathing to Eve just like Alison Sweeney did with Sami and Eileen Davidson did with Kristen. When Eve gutted out, "You can't possibly hate me more than I hate myself," I believed every word. I actually wanted to hug this terrible woman and tell her that everything will be okay! Who gets people to do that? The Lady DePaiva. That's who. NOT Oh, goodie! We're finally got to the part where Daniel turned up his nose at single Nicole for spending time with a man who's not him! Slut-shaming is always so much fun! Wait, wait! To make it even better, Daniel got to slam his door in Nicole's face again! Gosh, Daniel is just the best. I'm so glad they chose to keep Daniel around and cut the dead weight of that loser Xander who has a complicated history with Victor and actual chemistry with Nicole. Whew! Good thing we ran that clown out of town! All hail, King Jonas! Hip, hip...boo.

LINE OF THE WEEK J.J. (pretending to be Cole): "I need money" Eve: "Who doesn't? GO AWAY!!" The first line of the week that came via text message exchange!

RANDOM THOUGHTS Aw! Eve mentioned Roxanne. I miss her!

Hey! I saw Kayla!!

On the bright side for Will, at least Paul's shoulder isn't medically what it was. I wonder what Will's face would look like if Paul still had a pitching-quality arm? And no, I'm not smiling as I type that. Stop it. I'm not!

Wait, Adrienne still lives in the Kiriakis mansion? I thought Victor kicked her out.

On her list of faults, Eve clearly doesn't know how to turn off the vibrate function on her phone.

Why is it that people who screwed up (Eve, J.J., Will) often say things like, "We just need to find our way back!"? It seems more like "we" should work on "our" personal pronouns.

I'm guessing explaining to Arianna why her mom's in jail and she's named after her two dead aunts is going to leave a bit more of a mark than her dad getting punched while she's in the next room. Calm down, everyone.

I'd rather see Stefano put his efforts into uncovering E.J.'s actual killer, rather than Kristen's accidental one. Also, I feel the need to remind Steffie and Chadsworth that their family is not down to just them. Come to think of it, someone should really call Peter Blake and tell him about his sister.

We've reached the point where "don't friend me" is part of a breakup speech.

There were massive amounts of cups at that party for it only having ten guests.

And with that, I'm off to pick up Eve's slack (priorities, woman!) and head over to see Theresa with that thermos of martinis. It's a short one next week with no show on Memorial Day. So, Tony will be back soon to cover Melanie's answer and more Jeve fallout.

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.