The end of sweeps

How likely is it that no one noticed the new nurse with the eye patch (Steve) removing one of the richest men in Salem from the hospital this past week?

Hey Party People! Well, one of my favorite times of year has just ended: February Sweeps. I know a lot of people (mostly from reading the SOC message board) thought that sweeps just weren't exciting enough this time around, but I thought that Days did a really good job. So let's get to it shall we?

The great kidney caper. I know, I know, how likely is it that no one noticed the new nurse with the eye patch (Steve) removing one of the richest men in Salem from the hospital? But, that aside, I loved Monday's show when Steve was asking EJ what he was going to do with John next and he replied "I don't know, I'm hungry, are you hungry? I could murder a steak and kidney pie right now. Must be a British thing. I have steak, but I don't have a kidney. Do YOU have a kidney?" Here is where he gasps in glee " I know! We can take one of JOHN'S kidneys! Wouldn't that be delicious?" I swear to God, I actually said out loud, "He. Is. Nuts." Actually, I threw another word in there, but this is a family column, so I will let you use your imagination. That was my favorite part of the whole week, and it was literally less than three minutes into Monday's show. I knew I would really be enjoying this week after that point.

And I was not let down. After Steve realized that EJ was totally serious and was going to have a, we'll call him an "organ cultivator," take out John's kidney for a use that he decided not to tell, Steve jumped to John's defense and begged EJ to let a real doctor operate on John. EJ gave Steve the options of Kayla, Marlena or doctor chop-em-up. Steve chose Kayla and set off to find her. I've got to just backtrack for a second, since last week was Pam's week (hey girl!) I didn't get a chance to comment on Steve and Kayla's scenes from last week. I've got to say, no matter what material they are given, Mary Beth Evans and Stephen Nichols make me believe it. I couldn't believe my eyes when she tackled his ass to the ground when he tried to leave. To the ground. That was a fabulous piece of acting of both of their parts and I just had to mention it. Okay, back to my own week, Steve did find Kay and asked her to come with him. He told her that he needed her to take out John's kidney, and if she didn't, John would be only the first of their loved ones to die. She did the surgery, under great duress, and then thankfully called the police and an ambulance. Now Kayla is in danger of losing her medical license (I don't think that's fair. Steve may as well have put a gun to her head), and she had to call the police to come pick up Steve to have him committed. Now I understand that he is angry, but wasn't he the one telling her to call her police officer brothers to arrest him after he sleep-choked her? Did he honestly expect her to not do anything and just let him leave town? Those scenes in the police station on Friday were killer. Steve was ranting and raving about how Kayla was killing him and all of this is her fault. You could just see Kayla's heart breaking. Then as Steve became more aggressive (eventually head-butting Bo, which was a hell of a feat considering he was handcuffed, in leg irons, and being held by two pretty big police officers) Bo got in his face and tried to appeal to the Steve that was underneath the foaming at the mouth mad dog that was on the surface. Not that it helped, but damn it made good TV. I really, really wish that Sami would out her secret about EJ and the baby before anyone else does it for her. Since EJ went through her trash (I would say yuck, but he did have latex gloves on) and he is now most definitely onto her, it is only a matter of time before the whole thing comes out. In my perfect world, someone would let the cat out of the bag and Lucas would stand by Sami anyway. Unfortunately, as Dr. Phil says, the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior, so as much as I hate to say it, things aren't looking good for Sami and Lucas. I did get a kick out of EJ making Lucas run those errands while he verbally tortured Sami, but I don't know if I buy his explanation of being so besotted with her that he came back to Salem to face those criminal charges. I have a feeling that he knew he was going to beat them and it so happened to serve whatever his purpose is, so Salem was cool. So, now Sami and EJ's latest arrangement is for her to find out what the police are planning in regards to him and the gloved hand crimes and he'll keep his mouth shut. For now. I wanted to pat poor Sami on her head when she told him "This is the last thing I'm going to do for you!" Is she new here? Did she just meet EJ? As long as he has something to hold over her head she will do what he wants, when he wants it done. There is always an alternative, though. She can tell the truth, at least to Lucas.

This week we also bid Mimi and Bonnie goodbye. I think (even though it was a total history re-write) that the exit story with Mimi being the one who killed her father in defense of her mother was interesting, if a little bit rushed. Okay, a lot a bit rushed. But Farah Fath and Judi Evans cried that one out of the park. They were crying HARD weren't they? It was good though, don't get me wrong. What I don't understand is why they had Mimi and Max get together in the first place, unless it was just to get on Abby's nerves. But I will have to say that I will really miss Farah, I really loved her when they weren't making her lie about the same things for months on end. I wish her and Judi the best of luck.

The Robinson Crusoe Storyline. Sigh. Okay, this is how I look at it: If you in no way take anything that is going on with Shawn/Belle/Philip/Claire seriously AT ALL, it is really highly entertaining. If you let your knowledge of, I don't know, geography, the law, medicine or good ol' common sense get in the way, this story is really going to piss you off. But, if you take it as sheer entertaining fluff, it becomes more funny than anything, especially when Pretty-boy Kiriakis starts breathing fire. And the fun-fun-funniest thing in this whole storyline was when Belle kicked Shawn out of the lean-to (how do you kick someone out of a shelter that's not even enclosed?), and he was begging to get back in out of the rain, while ever so delicately holding a large leaf over his head. Did anyone else notice that it wasn't raining? And that Shawn wasn't wet? At all? Maybe they thought since it was dark, we would just assume it was raining. Or perhaps I need to dust my TV, but somehow I don't think it was just me. And it did give us a chance to watch Brandon Beemer strip to his tighty whitey's, which was worth at least one far-fetched scene. Belle just went on and on about Willow and how does Belle know that Shawn isn't just using her for sex (are you SERIOUS? Didn't he rescue your husband from a flipping war zone just so you could divorce him?) and basically just made no sense for most of Friday's show. Shawn did what most poor men would in that situation and told Belle what she wanted to hear, which was how special she was to him and that no one else mattered (I'm paraphrasing). She did eventually let him back in, just seconds before he got all the way to his birthday suit. Now if one of them would remember that their daughter is a liver transplant recipient and that she needs daily anti-rejection meds, that would be great.

Random Thoughts

Okay, how much did I love Nick going all Rambo and wrenching Dr. Rebert out of his car? "YOU CAN NEVER TOUCH HER!!" Okay, Nick. Damn. I do love Nick and Chelsea together, but I'm afraid to enjoy it too much, because of the specter of his one-night stand with Billie still floating around, waiting for the worst moment to be revealed. That makes me so sad. Boys. Anyway, I hope that Chelsea finds it in her heart to forgive him, and then she finds it in her brain to ignore the skeevy-ness of sleeping with a guy that has slept with your mom.

I really, REALLY enjoyed Bo throwing Philip's out of control, spoiled, mean-spirited, overly entitled butt physically out of his office. But before he did he told Phil that he was no brother of his. Yes! Now that is a disowning I can get behind!

Liked Hope going to talk to Willow. Hate that Willow is still a bitch.

I like Jed. He is very cute and he has a distinctive voice and way of speaking that make you take notice. But the one thing that I don't like about him is the fact that his very presence gives us the possibility of Willow staying around longer. Please, please, please let EJ push her out a window or something.

Now that Mimi is suddenly out of the picture, what will happen with Max & Abby?

And my most random of random thoughts: Where the hell is Salem supposed to be? I know that when the show originally started it was supposed to be Salem, Massachusetts, but then the show eventually set Salem in the Midwest. Okaaaaayyy, I'll bite, but they seem to get everywhere awfully fast. And please writers, if you are going to send characters to another country where people actually watch this show too, please get your geography right. It would make me really mad if someone wrote about my area but got really IMPORTANT details wrong. Like, New Brunswick isn't in Nova Scotia. They border each other, but they aren't the same. That's like someone telling me that Ohio is in Indiana.

Pam and I keep forgetting to bring this up (bad writers!) but our Two Scoops Columns for the past two years are now available in a printer-friendly format, so please, by all means, check it out!

Until next time!

Melissa

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