Bill Spencer: the original rescue ranger

Rescue Ranger Bill saved Li and Finn, making Bill the best thing to happen to the Forresters since Deacon saved Steffy and Finn in the alley. Bill and Deacon are ten times the man Ridge is, but the world-renowned simp Taylor shot one of them and ditched the other for a jet-ride nap on Ridge's shoulder. Why does Taylor limit her own options? Plus, read about the five outrageous or incredulous things that happened on the way to the SINN reunion.

Wyatt and Liam are right. Something is different about their dad. Bill is as bold and as sexy as ever; however, it appears that he has taken his softer side for a test drive. Just take a look at the new drapes he bought to match his brand-new Ikea sofa. And get a load of those gorgeous new accent vases over his fireplace. The new Bill even makes sandwiches and cuts them in half for his guests. He's a regular Martha Stewart these days.

You won't catch me complaining that Bill got rid of the sofa that had been in his house since Taylor bought it in the nineties. I think new decor means more story coming for Bill, don't you? But even with all the new accessories, the house is still missing some of its old ones -- namely Katie and Will. Bill thinks a lot about his son, who is in boarding school in Paris. Hopefully, he'll hop over to see Will while abroad dropping Finn off with his family.

Bill was the shot in the arm for the reunion storyline. When he found Li on the wharf and brought her home, Liam and Wyatt thought it was out of Bill's character, but I think it was right on the Dollar Bill. Every on-screen romantic relationship of Bill's has involved a rescue. He saved a drunk Katie at a bar when they met. He became Steffy's permanent rescue ranger after stopping her from driving and crying in the rain in 2011. Bill went on to rescue Brooke from her grief over Stephanie's death. So, for me, it's no surprise that he rescued Li Finnegan on the wharf.

Does this mean Bill will fall in love with his temporarily mute damsel in distress? I'm not saying all that, but I am pointing out that Bill has a knack for saving the ladies. I suspect that he passed the rescue gene down to Liam. Bill also rescued Finn and took him all the way to Monaco, and Bill didn't even rub it in when Ridge said he owed Bill one. How's that for changed?

One person who hasn't changed one bit, though, is Taylor. She's still simping for Ridge even after he went back to his wife. But why not do simp if his wife is dumb enough to share him?

Deacon sped in hot on Taylor, but she doused him with an icy cold dose of reality when she told him that they couldn't see each other like that anymore -- because of Ridge. Insert the side-eye, the eye roll, the pursed lips, and the flared nose emojis. I guess Taylor thought that if it worked for Brooke, it can work for her, but Taylor's mistake is in dumping Deacon before she let Ridge find out that Deacon was threatening to poach the other woman in Ridge's harem.

Whatever. Taylor can sit over there and simp for Ridge if she wants to, but that's the reason she's spent years and years alone. I bet she was in Africa, dissing attractive doctors and monkeys left and right, saying, "Oh, no. I couldn't possibly hang out, converse, and 'get my life' with you. My married ex in the United States won't like it...Sorry, I can't study the gorillas in the mist with you. They'll make Ridge jealous. Besides, Ridge is all the primate I'll ever need."

I can't say much better about Brooke. She's the one letting her husband jet off to romantic Monaco with the woman he just dumped. What wife in real life or fiction can possibly be okay with their husband going abroad with the broad he was just involved with? I don't care if his grown daughter is out there in a clinic. No. The answer is just no. No to my husband joining the mile-high cuddling club with his ex. No to my husband sharing a hotel suite with his ex. Just no. Come on, Brooke, you broke your ankle, not your common sense.

But Brooke lets Ridge role-play having two wives, so why shouldn't Taylor take advantage of it? If Taylor is in menopause, it could be the perfect situation for her. He comes over from time to time, flirts, and makes her feel special and protected. She can sleep on his shoulder, and she doesn't have to put out. She can send him home and not bother having to do all the wifely duties. It's like Uber Eats but for relationships.

Why do these women want Ridge when Deacon and Bill each appear to me to be ten times the man Ridge is? Ridge is rude. He's selfish. He's arrogant and impatient. He's a mega hypocrite. On the other hand, you have the sensitive, interior designer Bill and the hard-working charmer Deacon. Brooke could probably have her pick of the three. Who would you choose for her?

Taylor, though, I don't know. Bill might not want the woman who shot him in the back. Well, who knows? He's been so introspective lately, he could be in a forgiving mood. Who would you prefer to see Taylor with? Bill, Deacon, or Ridge?

I have to hand it to Steffy. She has upped her depression game. It seems that the more depressed she gets, the more fabulous she looks! Remember that old yellow blanket she hid under after Liam left her? Those gray, flabby sweats she wore, crying over him? They are all out to the curb. Steffy is grieving in style. Her hair is done, she's sporting couture sunglasses to hide her tears, and her lips are perfectly pouty as she stares mournfully at the ocean.

The only thing Steffy forgot to have in check was her phone. Really, writers? Do you really expect viewers to believe that Steffy went wandering out of her depression resort without a word to anyone about where she'd be or a phone to receive emergency phone calls just in case -- I don't know -- Kelly wakes up a grown woman after her next nap? Sheila nabs Hayes? Or maybe her dead husband keeps calling to tell her that he isn't dead, after all?

I know Steffy is sad without Finn, but nothing will get me to believe Steffy is so out of it that she can't even be in contact while leaving her kids in a facility in a foreign country, nanny or not. Likewise, I don't believe a depression clinic can't locate a severely depressed patient.

These aren't the only snags I got hung up on during this storyline's race to its Monaco climax. Up next are the five things I found unbelievable about the featured plot last week.

People tell me all the time that this is a soap, and I can't expect it to be realistic or perfect. That's fine, but can it at least keep me in the realm of fictional believability? It's all a matter of opinion, of course, but here are a few reality leaps and plot snafus that bothered me this week:

Li has been laying on the dock for days. The other day, Ridge and Taylor said they hadn't heard from Steffy for days. Before that statement, the last time I saw them talk to Steffy was the day Finn flatlined right after Li had vanished. I take that to mean Li was stuck on the dock like a barnacle for days until Bill happened upon her. Was she really lying there like that all that time?

Everyone forgot about Mike Guthrie. Liam learned about Mike when Ridge and Brooke told Deputy Chief Baker about him, so why didn't Liam warn Bill that Sheila had an accomplice? Further, why didn't Baker have Mike followed in the first place? Finn also knew about Mike, who had a proclivity for randomly showing up at the hideout. It boggles my mind why he or Bill thought it was a good idea to leave Sheila's latest victim alone with her -- as if getting to the jet ten minutes sooner would have made any difference in the world.

Li didn't have the address of the hideout. Li Finnegan, the highly skilled doctor who found the hideout, leased it out, and came and went from it for weeks while she cared for Finn, did not know the address of the hideout. I'm just gonna leave that there.

Finn told Steffy that he was alive via voicemail. Voicemail, guys. Voicemail. Finn's first mistake was that he called Steffy from Bill's phone when Steffy has no reason to be checking for Bill. Finn's next mistake was telling a woman suffering from severe depression, recovering from a gunshot wound, who thought her ex was her husband, that Finn was alive via voicemail.

What are the odds that, if Steffy heard a message like that, she wouldn't have gone as crazy as Douglas did when he saw the fake ghost on the wall? That's just not news you tell a person on a voicemail. In fact, it might not be the news Finn ought to casually roll up on her with in a foreign country, either. He might give the woman a heart attack. Perhaps the world-renowned psychiatrist should have gone with Finn to help brace her daughter for the news.

Nobody cares how Finn is alive. It's amazing news. It's a miracle. As Taylor said, God is good. But shouldn't some of these characters really want to know how Finn is alive? They are busy laughing and rejoicing about it, but they are not questioning what even occurred. Finn keeps saying that it's a long story, and he'll tell them later, but I'm sorry. I would want to know right then if I were one of them. Then again, Taylor rose from the grave twice, so maybe it's no biggie.

Maybe instead of wondering why no one is questioning how Finn could be alive, I should ponder how long he'll remain alive if these people are stupid enough to let him wander all over Monaco alone without getting him checked out by a doctor. Bill should have called his buddy Dr. Armstrong and asked him to meet at the jet to evaluate Finn. Remember, Sheila kept insisting Finn wasn't strong enough, and who knows what she doped him up with. I hope he doesn't collapse at Steffy's feet when he finally finds her, or worse yet, they'll faint on each other.

The unfathomable plot points just keep coming. The spoilers indicate that Hope completely loses her ever-loving mind and posts a picture of Brooke and Deacon on social media. I cannot wait to find out what made Hope's brain ooze out of her ear, leaving her witless fingers to upload a photo like that for Ridge to see while he is halfway around the world in romantic France with his ex. The photo supposedly goes viral, so what could Deacon and Brooke be doing in it?

Next, Deacon apparently moved out of the broom closet and into an extended stay hotel or apartment. Sheila storms in there with an incredulous story. When the police show up, Deacon must decide if he'll cover for Sheila or give her up. This is a no-brainer, Deacon. Step aside, let Baker into the apartment, and let him walk out with Sheila. Period.

Additionally, Steffy doesn't let joy grow like moss under her feet. As she basks in the light of Finn's return, she manages to go right back to interfering in her parents' relationship. She also confronts Li about nursing Finn back to health in secret. Before Steffy tears into Li for keeping Steffy and Finn apart, I do hope Steffy thanks Li for saving Finn's life.

Lastly, Thomas announces that he wants to play a more active role in Douglas' life. We knew that was coming ever since Taylor arrived in town, talking about Hope and Liam raising Douglas as if Hope hadn't legally adopted the boy. Here's to hoping that the writers have not forgotten that Hope is legally Douglas' mother.

Thanks for getting two scoops deep with me this week. Let me know what you think about the hard-to-believe plot points of the week, and do you like Bill's redecorated living room? Until we scoop again, stay bold and beautiful, baby!Chanel

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