J-j-j-jive turkey

Liam ran off instead of checking that Thomas was really kissing Hope. And since Hope can't do her say-something-nice-about-the-person-at-your-right tradish this year, here's a quick overview of what B&B characters should be thankful for in Mike's holiday Two Scoops!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you decide your boo's brother was okay but then not? Did your tryptophan coma go just a little bit too far? Did you run off because you realized your rival has a hotter back than you? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Buckingham clan this week!

Happy Thanksgiving, Scoopers! Memorize everything you give thanks for and then remember to give thanks for it every day. As for our shortened holiday week, Paris and Zende yapped; Finn had second thoughts about Liam's warnings about Thomas; Hope had dinner with Douglas and Thomas, who started popping off about reuniting; and Liam caught Thomas and Hope kissing...without popping off. Let's Scoop about it!

Really, for all the Chicken Littling that Liam has been doing about Thomas' sky falling, you'd think if he saw Thomas playing tonsil hockey with Hope, the first thing Liam would do is rush in and bust that stuff up. Uncharacteristically, Liam ran away! I'm sorry, what? Thomas finally makes out with the doll, and all it leads to is Liam running to Steffy's for a shoulder (and possibly something else) to cry on?

I will give Thomas hella points, because at least he realizes he's losing it and is fighting to stay above it. But another Leffy/Lope sleep-around, which is rumored to happen? Does anybody really want to see a new cycle of that? With Finn in the mix this time? Maybe Finn had better follow Thomas' advice and liberty-biberty his way outta there before Finn ends up with a heart injury hospitals can't fix.

And that's where we are on this Thanksgiving, with most of our characters off-screen and unaccounted for. But that doesn't mean they don't have their own gratitude to express! So, let's go down the list alphabetically (for fairness) and see what they are and should be thankful for. It's kind of like the Zoom meeting of Thanksgiving dinners a lot of folks had to settle for this year!

BILL

The Dollah should thank his lucky stars that Katie didn't take over Spencer Publications again in a divorce settlement (because Batie never remarried, which even B&B has forgotten), and that Steffy didn't sue him into oblivion for using her motorcycle as a speed bump. Bill should also be grateful that Spencer continues to run somehow, because his sons are never at work!

BRIDGET

I'm guessing "Budge" is grateful she got her one scene (via phone call) for the year. Maybe she's even glad she's in New York and out of her family's L.A. messes. Seriously, what was that, making it sound like Bridget was back for the fall, only to give us a one-minute phoner? Perhaps Bridget is also happy that she didn't have to come back for a wedding this time, only to peace out minutes after it got canceled.

BROOKE

La Logan is naturally thanking every freeway in the Valley that she got her "destiny" back after fighting with Ridge over Thomas and battling Ridge's other not-wife, Shauna, for him. If Brooke could stop kissing Bill's bearded self in times of strife, it would go a long way toward helping her, too. How lucky do you get, still being married after you thought you were divorced? Heed Stephanie's ghostly words, Brooke: "Don't screw this up."

CARTER

2020 has been a crap year for most people, but Mr. Walton got a storyline, a snazzy loft, a promotion he wasn't really qualified for, and a hot girlfriend who is now his fiancée! You bet he's genuflecting at ye olde cornucopia. Let's hope his sense of observation isn't totally dulled by his sense of gratitude, because Zoe doesn't always seem 100% on board with it all. Don't let Zoe pull a Maya on you, bruh!

CHARLIE

The wordy security guard known to turn a mixed metaphor got a chance to look for a missing mannequin this year, but I'd advise Sir Webber to direct all his thanks at Pammie, his GF of seven years. Better yet, direct those sorta street smarts of yours and realize that Quinn is AWOL at Eric's house! Grab Pam and marry her under Stephanie's portrait like you wanted to in 2018, Quinn-free! And then you can be grateful that Pam is living with you finally.

DONNA

Delicious Donna is likely most grateful she has her face in the opening credits and a contract in name only, considering she returned two years ago, only to get nothing to do except listen to her sisters bitch about their love lives. If we could give the bear survivor some hot stuff of her own (and without trying to stoke the cold coals of her romance with Eric, which died ten years ago), I know a lot of us would be grateful.

ERIC

The Forrester patriarch probably hasn't been feeling too grateful about anything since being betrayed by Quinn, but hey, Eric -- ding, dong, Quinn is gone! Know when you're well out of a mess and don't move on by taking up with Shauna. Getting those ivories tickled, recording a few albums, and hitting Number One on Spotify will give you plenty to feel grateful about -- and surround you with some less-crazy female groupies in the bargain.

FINN

Dude, how many patients do you get to treat, help through an addiction, and then date? And how many of those patients are Steffy "Sexy CEO" Forrester? Bow to all the gods you believe in and don't get up until you've demonstrated heavy gratitude to each one. Then, for the moment, be grateful that you're at least standing outside the whirlpool of wackiness generated by your lady's brother and ex-husband. Because you'll probably be caught up in it yourself sooner than later.

FLO

Felony Flo should be happy she isn't spending a second Thanksgiving in the slammer for helping Reese steal baby Phoebeth. Not to mention, she won her high school sweetheart back twice, sending her rival out of town as a wrap-up. Bet she's also thankful she doesn't have to work because of that $50K she earned from Reese -- and that she's mega grateful no one ever found out about it. But I see you, Flo. I see you.

HOPE

This woman got her "dead" baby back and her husband back, and rescued an adorable boy from the clutches of his psycho dad, who could still easily keep her in some Silence of the Lambs ditch somewhere. Concentrate on that, Hope, and not on giving Thomas 18th and 19th chances. Your doll double should be enough of a sign that you have lots to be grateful for, preferably in a witness protection program somewhere.

JUSTIN

Big J, I know there's tons to be grateful for, being Bill Spencer's right-hand man and nabbing all the swag that goes with it. But have you looked at yourself in a mirror lately? You are too fine to be yes-manning your way through your day. Start with giving thanks for what you've already got, then remember that you came back on contract in '18 and were supposed to get a story to go with it. Dead nieces don't count. You've got so much to build on, so build on it!

KATIE

Oh, Katie-girl. It took you eleven years, but you finally are free of one Bill Spencer, Jr. Take a deep breath, let your gratitude shine from your brother's heart, and then don't ever take that bastard ex of yours back again. Never mind his cheating on you with Brooke -- his cheating on you with Steffy should have been the end of it. Be happy that at least you got son Will out of it, and go see if some of our one-day doctors (ATWT's Jon Hensley and Y&R's Chris McKenna) are still available.

LIAM

Yeah, okay, you're right about Thomas still not being all there. But could you maybe be a little less town crier about it? You've got two wonderful daughters who have two wonderful mothers you're lucky are still speaking to you, let alone building an extended family with you. Remember how fortunate you are and maybe double-check who Thomas is kissing before running off all boo-boo face. Last time you made an assumption like that, you ended up being Quinn's "husband" in the woods.

PAM

Miss Pammie, I hope you take this day and every day to thank the universe for sending you Charlie, after decades of spinsterhood and your brief thing with Brooke's father, who tried to get you to shoot Stephanie. At seven years, Pam, you've got the longest relationship going on the show. Now, follow the advice I gave Charlie and go marry your goofball under Stephanie's portrait while Quinn is persona non grata. I'm sure, at this point, Eric will let you build the altar out of lemon bars.

PARIS

Ms. Buckingham probably has the most to be grateful for of all on this show -- she's new, and she hasn't been put through the wringer of drama that this version of the City of Angels provides. Paris has nothing to do with the fashion industry, and she's got that cool Strawberry Quik hair. So, she'd better send out all kind of thanks in advance that that reverie lasts as long as possible.

QUINN

Yeah, Quinn, you lost Eric. But look how much you have to grateful for. You lived like a Forrester for four years. You never got put in jail for kidnapping Liam or trying to filet him. Actually, you never wore stripes for any of your crimes. (Ricardo Montemayor, anyone?) So, before you start bitching out BFF Shauna for supposedly stepping up on your man, just remember that freedom merits a lot more gratitude than divorce.

RIDGE

Ridge, you don't know just how grateful you should be. Brooke took your trifling ass back, even after you sided with Thomas over her and got mad at her for kissing Bill once when you slobbered over Shauna for months. Then you married Shauna, sort of. Send out gratitude every day that you and Brooke are actually still married, and then make us grateful by not acting like a fool anymore and keeping your marriage together.

SALLY

Yes, I realize Sally's not on the show anymore. Can you imagine how glad she must be to be in Genoa City? Not a few weeks in Wisconsin, and she's already getting caught up in the intrigue there instead of getting buried under buildings and having her boyfriends stolen away from her by scheming women, like Sally thought she had to become. When a door closes...quadruple-lock that sucker and plaster it with six inches of lead.

SHAUNA

Seems to me, Shauna should be the most grateful that the Post Office doesn't lose track of her mail, given how often this woman moves. And, hey, she got to kiss Ridge Forrester, which was more than she got to do during her unconsummated not-marriage to him. I think I would be very thankful if, this time, Shauna also packed up Flo and got out of town permanently. They could take Wyatt along and fight over him. Maybe escort Quinn away from L.A. for good measure.

STEFFY

Girl, you got over a two-minute addiction and bounced back with a steamy doctor. You've got a little munchkin who loves you and a former rival who is cool with you building an extended family with your baby daddy's other daughter. So, say some "namastes" and "I choose me's," take that idiotic Sears Portrait Studio pic of you and Liam down, and realize how lucky you are before you make more of a mess than Kelly does with her oatmeal.

THOMAS

Thomas may have only one thing to be grateful for this Thanksgiving besides his sexy new beard, but it's an important one: he's still sane enough that he realizes he's been getting orders from a mannequin and that he's not been carrying them out. Maybe there's some hope (not Hope) for the guy, after all. I would be extra super grateful if his mental malaise ended up being something besides a brain tumor. We already did that with Pam. Too easy. Having him win over a real mental illness would make that victory all the more victorious!

WYATT

I suppose Wyatt's ego is still plenty grateful that he had two ladies fighting over him this year. He's probably also grateful his not-dying ex is 2,000 miles away and that his past/current squeeze has never shown the slightest inkling of interest in Liam. Wyatt is still on my naughty list for treating Sally like crap, but he's generally a good guy who has a lot to be thankful for, too. Can I be grateful for the way he's looking in those suits these days?

ZENDE

This guy's middle name should be Gratitude. Seriously. He lost his parents and his brother to AIDS in his home country in Africa, only to be adopted by one of the fashion Forresters and raised to be one of them. Zende only wanted to be a photographer and ended up being a designer after watching a few YouTube tutorials. He doesn't even have to explain why his marriage tanked! So, Zende should spend all of Thanksgiving in meditation for how lucky he is and let Carter have Zoe already. If not, I hope Kristen comes home to give him a Stephanie-style bitch slap!

ZOE

Zoe knows she could very well be in prison chic instead of runway chic for the way she hid her daddy stealing Hope's baby and selling it to Steffy. She got her modeling gig back, and now she's got a fine-ass man giving her some serious engagement bling. So, my advice to Zoe is, focus on that. Zende's cute and all, but he's not worth losing everything you've gained since practically being homeless a year ago. Look at that ring and say "thank you" one time for each facet, multiple times a day!

And those are my thoughts about what our fashion families should be grateful for this Thanksgiving! Did I miss anything? Did you have different thoughts? Share them in the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column!

That's all I've got for ya 'til December! I'm grateful to you all, as always, for reading my ramblings after eleven years! Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. Scratch that. Most of all, be safe.Mike

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