In a class by themselves

Brooke and Ridge's misunderstandings reached high school levels, while Steffy's growing addiction made the grade, and Zarter's first date made the honor roll! Do your homework with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you go back to high school in terms of your relationship? Did you find out a lawyer was interested in your briefs? Did your pills become a pillar? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Walton-Buckingham-Fulton clan this week!

Whatza haps, Scoopers? It's Mike again, here to tell you that Bridge's silly ninth grade conflict, with Quinn as the mean girl, kinda bored me, but Steffy's addiction story is getting interesting. And woo, Carter! Look at you bustin' moves on Zoe like you're Young MC! But B&B, come on -- update the damn credits! Taylor, Reese, Xander, and now Sally aren't on anymore! As for the rest of the show? Let's Scoop about it!

WHY MUST I BE A TEENAGER IN LOVE?

Flo came to the Forrester manse to visit Quinn and Shauna -- I think they said something, but I pretty much tuned out. I hate Flo, and watching Las Vegas' original mean girls gloat about getting Ridge away from Brooke rather spoils my dinner. Rena Sofer is killin' it, truly, but Quinn herself is cruisin' for a figurative bruisin' here. I hope Eric will be a fan of The Weakest Link when he finds out. "You are the weakest link -- goodbye!"

Then, privately, Quinn was in shock that Shauna was still feeling guilty about the way they bagged Ridge. Oh, not that again. They keep trying to sell me on Shauna being some virtuous woman, but she ain't. Like Chanel said last week, Shauna has no real tie to the show other than being "married" to Ridge, and that's probably why I can't get past feeling like Shauna is expendable. Guilty, my ass.

Not when she claims guilt in one breath and asks Ridge to skinny-dip the next. Shauna told the daffy designer that her duty as his wife was to put a smile on his face. Ridge has always been quick to demonize other people's motives, but when it comes to his own side of the street, he sure is gullible. You'd think after Morgan tricked him into impregnating her with Taylor's "permission" that he would have smartened up.

Seriously, he's been acting like a student at Beverly Hills High for months. First, Thomas could do no wrong, despite evidence to the contrary; then, after kissing on Shauna a bunch of times, Ridge got all pissed off over Brooke kissing Bill once. Pissed off to the point he went to Vegas and married Shauna in a drunken stupor. Topping himself, he ran to Shauna after hearing one part of a convo between Bill and Brooke.

Are these the actions of a man in his 50s? Maturity has never been Ridge's thing, but he's gonna have to retake his SATs if he keeps this up. Plus, the way Ridge acts about Bill is akin to a high school jock hating on the captain of the other school's football team. Naturally, the course of true soap love can't run smooth, but these people are churning up the waters with their own stupidity.

Even Bill caught it when he railed on Ridge for running to Shauna five seconds after hearing Brill's professions. This was after poor Donna, who still only ever serves as Brooke's sounding board, was sent away. Brooke and Donna are so into Brooke's troubles that it was news to them when Bill reported Katie giving him the final kick to the curb. Brooke didn't think Bill should accept Katie calling it quits!

I'm sorry, but Katie finally did the smart thing -- which she should have done years ago. I knew when she got back with Bill this last time, at Will's matchmaking behest, that it was going to be a disaster. Never mind the Brill kiss; the Dollah has done Katie over so many times that she was a fool to even consider another reunion. As proven by the fact that the first thing Bill did was try for his own reunion with Brooke!

Now Bill, for as horrible a person as he is, does have a tendency to call things correctly more often than not. He felt that Ridge treated Brooke as if she were disposable, and got drunk an awful lot, to the point where Ridge wasn't responsible for his actions. I agree, Bill: it's a pattern. But then, twice, Bill asked Brooke to "get back on your Stallion." Why am I thinking he wasn't actually taking about riding horses there?

Thankfully, Brooke matured enough past being a cheerleader at Sherman Oaks High School to tell Bill it wasn't happening. She wanted Ridge. Brooke has often been the immature one in terms of her relationships, so this is quite a flip. Besides, Bill would be a thousand times more convincing if he hadn't just said all the same crap, trying to get Steffy to build a life with him, really not all that long ago.

Brooke even correctly presumed that Bill was just getting fixated on things again, this time being her. She does know Bill! But Brooke, seriously -- do not ship Batie. If you really loved your littlest sis, the last thing you would want is for her to take a fifth ride on the Batie marry-go-round. Call Katie's high school crush Rocco and see if he's available for her instead!

Then Quinn showed up to chortle, wishing she had brought popcorn to watch Brill's glorious reunion. "I'll shove the popcorn down your freaking throat," Bill growled. Is it awful that I share the same sentiment? Quinn is just insufferable these days, and once Brooke sent Bill home, Quinn couldn't help taunting Brooke about how many "oops, I kissed the wrong man" boo-boos Brooke had made.

Quinn wasn't wrong -- Brooke's bedroom blunders are legendary. But it was just more talk, talk, talk. People do too much talking on this show; they have for a long time. Let's see them do something. For example, enough of Brooke merely suspecting Quinn of being behind everything; have Brooke get on a plane and go to Vegas and sleuth stuff out!

Isn't that what Stephanie would have done? Brooke did have a Stephanie moment as she swore she would find out how Ridge ended up marrying Shauna and that Quinn would lose everything. Now act on it. I'm at least glad Brooke outright said Quinn was just using Shauna to get back at Brooke. I've been saying that ever since the new episodes started! Yes, Brooke, you're welcome.

GEE WHIZ, WILL YOU GO STEADY WITH ME?

Carter walked into Ridge's old office with one thing on his mind -- lunch with Zoe. What did you think I was going to say? This is Carter we're talking about! This week, he proved that he is not only "old school," as he described himself, but total leading man material. Why has Lawrence St. Victor been on the romantic backburner for almost seven years? All that wasted time and charisma!

Apparently, the off-screen Pam not only sensed this potential new love connection, but also that Zoe was still bumming about how Thomas had used her in his plot to snag Hope. I'll concede that was upsetting for Zoe, but why still be upset? Even without the COVID break, they've already been apart way longer than they were together. Fortunately, Zoe got over it long enough to let Carter woo her with a catered lunch.

Zoe was dubious about her catchability because of "everything I've done in the past." Carter assured her that her father, Reese, had only pulled her into his lie. Um, how about when Zoe cyberstalked Hope and tried to pin it on Sally? Or the way she taunted Emma? Zoe does seem to have grown up a bit since, but keeping Phoebeth a secret was not her only misdeed.

Zoe liked that Carter was a man with "a really strong moral code." But then again, she wasn't around when Carter busted a move on the married Maya, and as recently as two years ago, he tried to sway Maya away from Rick again. Maybe Carter only crosses the line when it comes to Maya. He'd better treat Zoe right, because she really lights up around him, much more so than she did with Thomas and Xander.

Carter is generating all the feels, so I hope we get a really sweet soap romance out of him and Zoe. I thought Carter laid it on a little thick about wanting Zoe to be a part of his future when they were only on a first date -- and at work at that (slow your roll, C!) -- but they did have a nice little first kiss. Well, Carter and a Zoe mannequin did. But, hey! It's COVID! Can't get back to the real tonsil hockey 'til that's over.

SCHOOL OF ADDICTION

Liam and Hope had three dubbed-in kiddies in their charge (again, COVID), because Kelly was spending extra time with daddy due to mommy's painful recovery. Hope thought it might help to have Kelly over more often, as it would give Steffy a better chance to heal than if she were chasing a toddler around. Many already think Hope is trying to steal Steffy's child, but I think Hope's heart is in the right place on this one.

At the cliff house, Thomas (woof) swung by and again tried to impress upon Steffy how much she really still wanted to be with Liam. "Why is that picture still on the wall?" Thomas asked. Word. Steffy scoffed that it was for Kelly, but Thomas' attitude was pure "don't con a con artist." Despite Thomas pushing Steffy about Liam, Thomas told Steffy to call him because he wanted to be there for her. Genuine aww!

Expecting Kelly home, Steffy called Liam, but it was Hope that picked up Liam's phone. Huh? Liam usually has his phone superglued to his hand; he wouldn't just leave it behind while stepping out. Anyway, Hope relayed that Kelly had asked to stay another night with Douglas and Beth, and while Steffy okayed the overnight, Steffy did not take it well. She had flashbacks of Liam and ugly cried.

Then Steffy did something I did not expect. She grabbed a brewski out of the fridge and swallowed down her last pain pill with it! Dang! Intriguing how Steffy and Hope have switched places, isn't it? Now, Hope's folding baby clothes, and Steffy is the one hooked on pills. But unlike Hope, who got addicted in no time, the pacing of Steffy's growing addiction is much more plausible.

Thomas came over again the next morning only to find his sister totally zoned out. As he made Steffy coffee, Steffy actually hid the beer bottle under a pillow! Thomas didn't see that but did note that Steffy was hellbent on doing "this" by herself, without any family staying with her. I wish Steffy had made that demand herself when this all started. That's too big to get after the fact.

Kicking Thomas out because Liam was on his way back with Kelly, Steffy got herself cleaned up in anticipation and saw a Kelly-less Hope on her doorstep instead. Steffy learned that Kelly had asked to stay at Hope's even longer and went medieval on her former rival. Steffy was sure Hope was keeping Kelly away from her on purpose. "She is my daughter, not yours!" Steffy yelled.

I gotta say, Jacqueline Macinnes Wood really knocked it out of the park in that scene. Liam was right: Steffy is usually in control, and seeing Steffy out of that control under JMW's control made for quite a scene. But Steffy caught herself and apologized for unloading on Hope. She just really missed Kelly and needed her baby with her. Hope deduced that Steffy's initial reaction denoted more than frustration on Steffy's part.

Steffy snapped at Hope again, just as Finn heard the raised voices and let himself in. Steffy was mortified and tried to play it off, but Hope overstepped and said in front of the doctor that Steffy wasn't acting like herself. That bothered me; it put Steffy on the spot, and I think it may have been inappropriate. "It's important for your doctor to know," Hope said in defense of herself. Hmm.

Meanwhile, Liam was late for work at Spencer Publications because of all the dad time with the kids. Maybe I'm just drawing a blank, but when did Liam start working for Bill again? Was that just before COVID? While waiting for Liam to show, Wyatt, Justin, and Bill talked about implementing some inclusion initiative at the company and providing for more diversity in their offices worldwide.

Spoilers indicated that we were going to address some of the Black Lives Matter issues, and I hope this isn't what they meant. Talking about Spencer being more inclusive is great, if random, but I think what's indicated here is an actual story demonstrating that diversity. Not just by giving Black actors storylines, but having the current struggle reflected on-screen. Giving Spencer diversity off-screen is just lip service.

Anyway, the actual work at Spencer turned into a detailed chat about how Steffy was and wasn't doing. Liam worried that, after all Steffy had lost, she was going through more than she let on. Liam didn't mention Phoebeth, but that was a pretty deep cut I'm sure Steffy would still be feeling. Bill was concerned but had to ask how Steffy was doing, saying he'd have to stop by Steffy's again.

I'll say this again -- why is Bill relegated to checking in on Steffy off-screen? He's only the guy who put Steffy in the hospital in the first place. Plus, he professed his love for Steffy more than once. What -- is he, as Brooke implied, not fixated enough on Steffy to be sending round-the-clock nurses, throwing money at her, and coming over every day to see that Steffy's all right? Bill's absence there feels totally off.

Once alone with Finn, Steffy's interaction with him was far more doctor-patient than indicative of any bubbling-under romance. Finn glanced at the Sears Portrait Studio blow-up of Steffy and Liam and noted that she seemed happy there. "You wanna feel that way again," Finn observed. Steffy apologized for being all huffy with Hope, admitting that "the pain has me a little on edge."

Steffy then tried to get another pain med prescription out of Finn, after he'd already told her he'd only provide one bottle! Finn couldn't be persuaded and felt that Steffy might be becoming dependent on the pills. (Rut-ro.) But he did try to counsel Steffy through her current situation and said he couldn't let her go down "that slippery slope." Finn was committed to helping Steffy and declared he was there for her!

Awwwww yeah! But that's where we left things, so we won't find out until next week where Steffy and Finn's slow burn (which burned too slow this week) goes. What do you think, Scoopers? Is Steffy truly getting addicted to pain pills? Should Hope have interfered regarding Kelly and Dr. Finn? Do Brooke and Ridge need to graduate high school and act like grown-ups? And are you on board for Carter starting things up with Zoe? Submit your grades in the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

"Why create an addiction story for Steffy, when nobody has done anything about Ridge's booze issues?...You would think that Brooke, or Eric, or someone in the family would see that something is wrong and that Ridge needs help. Getting blacked out drunk is not a way to solve your problems..." -- Christine

"Brooke and Ridge are STALE. Denise Richards brings sass and fun to the show as Shauna. I personally am tired of the re-run of Brooke and Ridge. I am saddened that Eric and Quinn are going to split. I was excited about Steffy and Finn, but with these changes that keep things stale.." -- Flo

"I'm sorry but can someone explain to me why Brooke loves Ridge? He treats her like crap and from what I have read about their back story always kind of has. I started watching right before the text message breakup and do not get why they are even a couple." -- "Doreen2"

To answer your question, Doreen, there have been periods when Ridge was quite devoted to Brooke, over the 25 years before the text message (which was the story that wrote previous portrayer Ronn Moss out of the role). Ridge often went up against his mother, Stephanie, to defend Brooke and stood by Brooke during lots of challenges, at least in the '90s. His only real "crime" then was he kept flip-flopping between Brooke and Taylor, but there were usually a couple of years between waffles. Ridge has gotten even flakier the past decade and a half or so!

That's it for me -- thanks, as always, for reading, and I'll be back in a couple of weeks! In the meantime, keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember: wearing a mask to help tamp down a virus and respecting everyone -- even when they're different than you -- is always beautiful!

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