Pot, meet kettle

Once-crazy Pam recruited Donna for her newfound battle against crazy Quinn. But Ridge and Bill's finger-pointing meant they were more alike than different! Hit the hypocrisy with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you discover that a person you hate was just a person you loved to hate? Did you accuse someone of doing something you totally would have done yourself? Did you decide mischaracterization was up there in a ranking of romantic moves? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!

Never saw it coming, Scoopers! Ten years ago, Pam was targeting Donna with a rifle, later realizing siccing a bear on her was more effective. Now Pam and Donna are BFFs. It shouldn't work. But it does! Meanwhile, Bill had Ridge by the balls, wanting Ridge to pay for influencing a judge, forgetting it's exactly what Bill would have pulled had he thought of it. Ready to play Hungry Hungry Hypocrites? Let's Scoop about it!

BETTER THE DEVIL YOU KNOW

With the success of the Intimates line -- a collection Pam would have decried as immoral not that long ago -- Pam had her hands full at the reception desk. Until a familiar voice called in, talking about the tape Pam had used to use to partition said desk. It was Donna, and boy, was Pam excited! She and Donna hugged like old school chums and bantered about Donna's enduring love for Eric. Was I missing something here?

Perhaps ironically, I've been watching decade-old episodes of B&B on YouTube lately, particularly the Pam vs. Donna rivalry that had the Loony Lemon Bar Lady victimizing Eric's "hot tamale" every chance she got on behalf of sister Stephanie. There was nothing to indicate Pam and Donna would ever be friends; even their sharing receptionist duties until Donna finally bounced was more than a bit of a stretch.

And yet, here Pam and Donna were, ready to upgrade their status from "frenemies" to "friends." I was like, for real? Yet it totally worked. And here's why: the show explained it. They addressed the big, defecating elephant in the room -- regarding Quinn, Pam said, "I was never crazy like that! I just had a little scar tissue on the brain." So true, and the excellent continuity didn't stop there.

Pam admitted she had done and said awful things to Donna back when Eric was gravitating away from Stephanie, and Pam actually apologized for them...after we were regaled with flashbacks from ten years ago that reminded us exactly what Pam was talking about! It was brilliant, really. While Pam marveled that Donna could sit with her and laugh about things, Donna pooh-poohed that it was all water under the bridge.

More like a tsunami! Maybe it's true that time heals all wounds; in 2008, Donna refused to believe that the mass on Pam's brain had caused her abhorrent behavior, convinced it was all a trick on Pam's part. Today, Donna conceded that Pam had had a medical issue back then, and Pam admitted she could now see how much Donna had loved Eric. This feel-goodery shouldn't fly, but it does because the show took us through their process.

The most amazing part of all this? Pam actually shipping Deric! After all, Pam used everything in her arsenal, including green hair, poisonous snakes, and ursine predators to not only sink the Deric ship, but torpedo it. Who knew it would ever be heartwarming for Pam to remind Donna that Eric's "favorite wife is always the one he had before" and advise Donna to tell Eric about her still-existing feelings? I mean, did you evah?

I'M VERY RECEPTIVE

While it is hypocritical for Pam to rail against Quinn's many misdemeanors because the ones Pam committed against Donna weren't that much less severe, Pam and Donna did seem to bond over their mutual dislike of Eric's current wife. Pam went on about how Quinn was no good for Eric, much in the way Sheila did when she returned and discovered Quinn as Mrs. Forrester.

Pam and Sheila have more in common than we thought! Though I bet you'll never see Sheila baking. As a favor, Donna fielded a few phone calls for Pam, which gave Pam the idea to pitch Donna to Eric as Forrester Creations' new/old receptionist. Eric was all about it, amazingly offering to get Donna her own desk instead of having to share one with Pam, as in days of yore.

Not surprisingly, Donna and Pam were fine with splitting a single piece of office furniture. It's a silly development, but again, the show acknowledged it. So, in between calls, Pam and Donna dished about Quinn's no-nos, from kidnapping Liam and pretending to be his wife on up. Donna seemed surprised that Quinn almost made Pam look normal by comparison.

But should Donna have been? She should easily remember the first time she met Quinn at the mansion in 2013 -- after Donna flirted with her ex-husband, Quinn got in Donna's face and called her a slut. And that was when Quinn only had a passing interest in Eric. So, Quinn threatening to destroy Donna should have been expected. But I'm intrigued by the idea of Donna and Pam teaming up against Quinn. Could be fun!

Here's how the former Catwalk co-hosts could bring Quinn down and solve a long-ditched mystery at the same time: have them find out about the mysterious death of Ricardo Montemayor, who bequeathed Wyatt the rare Hope for the Future diamond after also leaving behind a video in which Ricardo "Quinn-tessentially" accused Quinn of offing him. What fun it would be watching Donna and Pam hold that over Quinn's head!

Of course, Quinn may end up destroying herself first. She immediately got defensive when Eric told his wife he had rehired Donna, his ex-wife -- this after grousing to Eric about how she'd gone another round with Pam. Quinn would do well to smile to Eric's face and do her plotting behind Eric's back. Though I loved Quinn's remark, "[Donna] must have cleaned up in your divorce settlement," unless she'd blown through it.

Cleaned up and how! Donna only ended up with 12.5% of Forrester's stock, which she soon sold to Bill, and he had that share these past eight years until he, only this summer, let Steffy buy it off of him. Quinn asked Eric why he and Donna got divorced, yet Eric deflected. What, explaining their disagreement over Stephanie's role in Beth's death was too complicated? At least Quinn asked, I suppose.

After Quinn bared her fangs to Pam, Ms. Douglas reminded Mrs. Forrester that she was a survivor of mean (great nod to her papa's abuse!) and later hinted to Donna that while she'd never do anything that "bears" scrutiny to Donna again, she might we willing where Quinn was concerned. Donna wasn't sure how to take it; she looked worried. Could we be in for some real Pam vs. Quinn? Bring it on, B&B. Bring. It. On!

RELATIVELY SPEAKING

While Will was once one of the Forgotten Ones (along with Nick's son Jack, Bridget's son Logan, Deacon's son "Little D", etc.), he's recently gotten a lot of screen time. Still, the poor kid must have needed a spreadsheet to understand who all these people were in the room! I get that he'd know Aunt Donna, since Donna apparently babysat him a lot while Katie was off doing other things, most notably jaunting to Australia.

It was amazing Will even recognized half-brothers Liam and Wyatt, who barely spend any time with the boy! But it kind of threw me when the brothers Spencer acted as if they'd known Donna all their lives. I'll give Liam a pass; I had to think about it, but Donna was still around, at least sporadically, during Leffy/Lope's first infamous go-round. But Wyatt should have needed to be introduced.

Anyhow, I did get a kick out of Liam asking Donna, "What's the deal? Is there like a wedding I don't know about?" since it's true Donna only ever came back to watch a family member get married. And it's always refreshing to see different combinations of characters interact who don't usually end up in each other's orbit. Now if I can just figure out why Will was at Forrester instead of at school...

INSPECTOR GADGET

Based on Justin's intel that someone matching Ridge's description had been seen in Judge McMullen's chambers before and after Will's custody hearing, Bill was convinced Ridge had contaminated the ruling. And Bill would think that, but why did we get that info from something someone said off-screen? It would have been so much more effective had we seen Justin, or better yet, Bill, find that out directly.

So, Bill did what anyone on B&B does anymore when they need digital tracing done -- he called in Ken, IT guy extraordinaire. Ken is played as a bit of an oddball, which may or may not be wise, given the climate we live in, but Ken also knows what time it is with Bill and doesn't hesitate to say so. Ken told Bill he should stop getting married and lamented that the Forresters hire him to catch crooks while Bill hires him to be one.

Ken must have learned his hacking and triangulating skills from someone on 24, because, much like Chloe with Jack Bauer, Mr. Ken made a connection between Ridge and the judge for Bill faster than you can say, "Damn it!" Ken needed more time to hack trace the sources of McMullen's texts and calls, but Bill wanted to expedite. He had Ken fix it so both Ridge and Craig received the same panicked text...from "each other"!

Too bad Ken wasn't around when Steffy and Thomas were sending Ridge and Brooke misleading messages to induce a breakup; that team had to steal their parental figures' phones to pull that one off. "How dumb do you think these guys are?" Ken asked of Bill. But Bill correctly predicted that designer and judge would fall for the false alarm, and fall they did, in the Forrester parking lot like when Liam fell and hit his head there.

Now, I know this is a super deluxe nitpick, but please -- the front of Forrester, and its parking lot, in no way match the building always shown in the establishing shots. Having spent many years in L.A., I know that's because the entrance is really the CBS Television City in Hollywood, while the Forrester that cars always drive by is on 3rd Street, several blocks away. It's so obviously not the same place!

Plus, okay, it's probably much cheaper to film in the studio parking lot than to go on location somewhere else. I just can never buy it. No matter; Craig was freaking out and more than once attacked Ridge for his lack of integrity. Joe Lando was killing that scene, and it really made me feel that B&B needs to figure out a way to add him on permanently. Yeah, Craig's already got a wife and kids. That can be fixed!

MY SHOTGUN MIC'S BACK AND YOU'RE GONNA BE IN TROUBLE

Bill sat in his SUV, looking through a viewfinder like he was Spielberg on the set of his next blockbuster. In the back seat, Justin, who is on contract but still does nothing but Bill's bidding, sat with a shotgun mic that Bill got from Spencer Publications' tabloid division. Kind of nice to know Spencer still prints those, since Bill Sr. made a mint off of the rags, as well!

Well, Ridge and Craig did what people on soaps with secrets do: they talk about them openly in indiscriminate places. Turns out Bill's "Spencey senses" (I wish he wouldn't say things like that; the Spider-Man paraphrase is as bad as his unfortunate Stallion neighing) were right, as he was quickly able to commit Ridge's confession to bits and bytes. Just then, Ridge pieced together why he and Craig had gotten the same text.

And it was a suspenseful scene! Ridge realized, "He's here," and tore off in futile pursuit of Bill's quickly exiting SUV. Having no choice, Ridge brought McMullen into Forrester and told Brooke, Katie, and Thorne that the jig was up. Indeed; no sooner had Ridge revealed that they were all in deep doo-doo than Bill called Ridge and demanded a powwow with everybody. How did Bill and Justin get back to Century City from Hollywood so fast?

It didn't matter; Katie, Brooke, their husbands, and Judge McMullen all reported to Bill's office as demanded. I found it rather thrilling to see McMullen at both Forrester and Spencer! I really do hope B&B finds something contract for him to do. Soon, Bill made a grand entrance and took great pleasure in roasting each of his wrongdoers like they were pigs on a spit.

Was anyone else reminded of the similar scene in early 2010 when Bill owned Forrester and caught on to Ridge and the others creating the ugly Dare line to sabotage him? No one does dressing-downs like Bill Spencer. Of course, Bill's aggrievement doesn't exactly hold water. Yes, Ridge was wrong to influence Judge McMullen. But Ridge didn't do anything Bill wouldn't have done -- and has done many times.

Then there's the issue of Bill recording Ridge and Craig's private conversation. "This recording is illegal!" Ridge barked -- and he wasn't wrong. Carter said the same in 2014 when Maya recorded Oliver without his knowledge. And I suppose you could apply that to Liam recording Bill's I-set-fire-to-Spectra confession last year. Though that didn't stop Liam from using it to force Bill's hand, much like Bill used his recording to force Ridge's.

Bill wielded his voice weapon over Ridge and the gang to the point that Ridge yelled at Bill to just go ahead and call the cops already! But Bill said he didn't want to be that man anymore. He had changed. Yet it still took Brooke's one-tear appeal for him to announce he wasn't going to press charges. All Bill wanted in return was to once again share custody of Will with Katie. And that worked for everybody.

All's well that ends well, I guess, but hold up. If Bill is such a changed man, why did he hunt down the proof he needed to bust Ridge so doggedly? Brooke, and even Katie, felt that Bill had indeed mended his ways, but I'm not buying it. You can tell the opposite is true from the smirk that's never left Bill's face. I can't believe Brooke is going for this. Like she didn't get likewise punked by Stephanie many times before!

MMM MMM, MY BABY'S GOT A -- UM, MY BABY HAD A SECRET

Understandably needing more screen time, the backburnered Wyatt and the even more backburnered Liam sent Will off to wherever soap kids go when they're not needed for a scene and stuck around for Katie and Thorne's return from their mystery meeting with Bill. Only Katie spilled the tea before she could even get water in the kettle. Ridge had persuaded Judge McMullen to rule against Bill in Will's hearing!

Why the hell did Katie have to pop off? How does Liam and Wyatt knowing what Ridge did advance the story in any way? It just seemed really random, and sanctimonious: no one was supposed to know, but Katie told the first people she saw. Even Ridge growled, "I assume everyone's been filled in" when he saw the congregation in his office. Only two good things really came out of that otherwise needless scene.

A) Ridge popped off, "You're loyal to your father; it's probably the only thing I like about you", though I don't know if he was talking to Wyatt, Liam, or both. And B) Ridge revealed what was hella obvious to me -- that Bill had only let him and Thorne off the hook twice as a way of getting to Brooke! Yes, Ridge has been paranoid about anything pertaining to Bill for a while now, but he went to the head of the class on this one.

X MARKS THE SPOT

For real, if Ridge had known Bill once built a secret sex room in his office for Brooke, Ridge would have been even less willing to leave Brooke alone with Bill. I think we can fast-forward through the Brill scene, because it pretty much consisted of Bill crowing about how much he'd changed and how he was changed because of Brooke. He laid it on so thick, you could have put up wallpaper with it.

"I'm not trying to sell you," Bill swore. And Brooke stood there, shiny-eyed, believing this load of bull. I will give Brooke credit for telling Ridge earlier in the week that she would never betray her husband; despite Brooke having betrayed several husbands in the past, I feel I can take her for her word here. Bill knew Brooke was married, but he wouldn't shut up about how he loved her forever and a day, yada yada yada.

Why are we tip-toeing up to Brill again? For one thing, as I keep saying, Bill spent the first half of 2018 trying all of this with Steffy, using the same words. Bill's never been a waffler before; he must have hung around Liam too long. Beyond that, Brill is just gross. They started out as an affair behind Katie's back in 2012 and 2013, and the stink still hadn't washed off by the time Brill got a second go-round in 2016 and marriage in 2017.

I mean, say what you want about Bridge, but Brill has barely even been together. It was all lusting and longing, then they got married for a few short months, though it was based on no perceptible relationship. In fact, Brooke only married Bill because she'd caught fianc Ridge kissing Quinn! Brooke never loved Bill, and Bill never really had her. So, can we just nip this newest Bridge/Brill triangle in the bud? Please?

What are you thinking, Scoopers? Is Pam and Donna's new buddy-buddiness working for you? Has Bill really changed? And are you up for another round of Ridge/Brooke/Bill? Talk to us in the Comments section below or on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

"Donna is by far the most interesting Logan Sister, when Jennifer Gareis took over the role she made it her own and changed Donna into a sexy bitch (in the best way possible). Seducing Thorne to get back at Stephanie and resulting into this love-story with Eric, was great soap. I always thought that John McCook and JG have great chemistry." -- Vincent

"I've stopped watching since the writers turned Thorne into a prop for Ridge to move around. PLEASE, have Thorne seek revenge for Aly's death. And let Katie get back with Wyatt, a true Logan would stick with the sleaziest relationship possible (hullo, Hope and Bill!!)" -- Rhonda

"Pam lives with a serious mental illness and the effects of a tragic childhood. It doesn't excuse anything Pam has done but making the decision now to get married and planning her wedding would be huge life changing experiences for most people at the best of times. For someone like Pam the stress would be tripled. If course she's going to overreact and act out. Charlie is a rock star for understanding and being so patient with her. He gets Pam better than anyone else. Too bad Quinn couldn't have shown a bit more compassion." -- "Anwenn"

"Mike, I had the same thoughts about the relationships swap-aroos. When Ridge mentioned 'Australia' and Brooke had that flashback of Quidge kissing, I thought...well, I see where this is going. I am sick of Ridge and his hatred for Bill. He has Brooke; he should just focus on that instead of running to Bill and spewing empty threats! Also, Thorne keeps saying that Bill threw the first punch...what is he in high school now? He sounds so ridiculous! Thorne acts so concerned for Will's well being...where was all of this concern for his own daughter? Why didn't Thorne come back to LA and be a father to his own daughter? Word to Thorne...you can't replace one child with another!" -- "thomascd"

You know, it occurs to me, I've now been doing these columns for nine years! I feel like I've lived a lifetime in that time. I mean, if you factor in SORAS, I've been doing this for at least forty-five. Speaking of lifetimes, will Taylor spend the rest of hers behind bars? I hear putting a bullet in Bill is coming back to haunt her sooner than later. So, keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember, now more than ever, no matter color, creed, religion, gender identity, orientation, or nationality, we're all beautiful.

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.