Planting seeds

Hope and Steffy added fertilizer to their years-long rivalry, having both been fertilized by Liam. But newcomer Zoe's no English rose, leaving Sally to get pricked with a Thorne! Come garden with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you wish you'd spent more time surfing and less time surfing the Web? Did you challenge your rival to The Amazing Race: Babymama Edition? Did you hop over the pond with a little pond scum? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Avant-Spectra clan this week!

Holy summer, Scoopers! 'Tis the season for grass growing, flowers growing...bellies growing. Hope and Steffy's stale competition got livened up by now being able to enter the yard as mothers. Before long, one gardener will call the other a hoe! Meanwhile, Xander and Emma better watch out, 'cuz his artist ex Zoe just arrived to dump manure all over their seedling romance. That's the way love grows? Let's Scoop about it!

I JUST WET MY PLANTS

Steffy was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief about Bill backing off on his threat to send Taylor to jail if Steffy didn't marry him (how come no scene of Taylor getting some veiled reassurance?). But before Steffy could arrange for family pics from Sears Portrait Studio, she got the earth-shaking news that infant Kelly was going to get a half-sib in the form of Liam's child with Hope!

And Bill thinks he's the Stallion. Turns out the real studhorse is Liam! All I could think about after learning he also put a bun in Hope's oven was the disco classic Rapper's Delight -- "I can bust ya out wit' my supa sperm!" Maybe Liam could help poor Nicole break through her infertility. For now, as much as I was over Leffy/Lope by 2012, adding in the complications of multiple babies is actually fairly novel.

The only thing that might have been better would be if Steffy and Hope had been pregnant by Liam at the same time! Of course, that's been done -- just ask the long-deceased Scott Grainger on Y&R, who knocked up Lauren and Sheila at the same time and set off their hottest story. Maybe this time Taylor will switch babies on Hope and Steffy! But I digress...

Getting serious, I fully expected Steffy to freak, but she handled the news with a surprising calm. "I take myself out of it, and I think of the baby," Steffy conceded, suggesting Liam take the time he needed when he hedged on marrying Steffy right away. That took amazing strength, proven when Steffy broke down in a moment alone and told Kelly via baby monitor that her family would somehow stay intact.

Liam must not be getting enough fiber again, because that constipated look of olde played on his face as he chatted with Hope about their forthcoming bundle of joy. He loved Hope, but he loved Steffy, too. Really, Liam having to choose between these girls is not compelling enough to watch him do it over and over. He should chat with Ridge, the Champion Waffler of the 1990s and 2000s. Even Ridge didn't have dueling babies!

YOU GROW, GIRL

Call it the prenatal vitamins, call it having been coached by a delusional Brooke, but the emboldened Hope paid Steffy a visit and declared it game on. Steffy felt Hope's pregnancy didn't change her family unit with Liam and counseled Hope to do the right thing. I swear, for a moment, I thought Steffy was going to tell Hope to get an abortion! But Steffy kept acting from her core of strength instead.

"I would never not want that for you," Steffy said as Hope revealed how badly she wanted to be a mother. It was an amazingly sweet moment. Naturally, both ladies would want babies even more, since they each lost one; too bad that didn't come up. Hope didn't think either of them should speak for Liam yet turned around and announced she would not be handing Liam over to Steffy!

Okay, Hope has taken a bit of an uncharacteristic turn here. Over and above Steffy's correct statement that Liam is not a possession to be handed over, Hope doesn't even have Liam to hand over! He's making a home with Steffy and Kelly and likely won't be confusing the mailman with any more change of address cards anytime soon. Nevertheless, Hope believed Liam would return to her, bringing out the big guns.

That's right -- Hope threw Steffy's one-nighter with Bill in her face! Oh, no, she di'int! Hope felt she was the better choice because she had always been loyal and faithful to Liam, while Steffy... Meow! I'm not sure if I like this new aggressive streak in Hope or not. "We're two mothers wanting to give our children the best life possible -- a life with their father," Hope later told Liam, throwing Still at him also!

I find something troubling about Hope wanting Liam to give her baby a family while wanting Kelly to lose hers. I admit, there's no clear solution here; I can't fathom what people do about this in real life. Either way, one of Liam's babies suffers. Maybe he ought to find one of those polygamy groups somewhere, just marry both Steffy and Hope already, and raise the kids together. And I'm only half kidding about that.

IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUC-SEED

In between boffing Sally, Wyatt had Liam over for some brotherly chit-chat. "Loving two women, children by both of them...wow." Wyatt couldn't be more on point. "Wow" is the word. Shame the Spencer bros didn't compare notes on both getting Hope pregnant. Wyatt correctly insisted the Leffy/Lope stakes are even higher now, and was afraid Liam was going to keep the girls dangling.

Liam insisted otherwise, but Wyatt hadn't recovered from that visit when he received another visit -- this time from the Big Kahuna Spencer. Wyatt was so floored by the appearance of Bill that he didn't immediately hear Bill's unprecedented acknowledgment of crappy treatment. Bill apologized for using Wyatt to keep Steffy away from Liam and even wanted Wyatt to come back to work at Spencer Publications.

We'll get to the wisdom of that idea -- or lack of -- some other time. Do meditation retreats have delayed reactions? Because Bill came back from one so fixated on Steffy that he threatened to throw Taylor in the big house if Steffy didn't choose him, only mellowing after he saw how much Steffy resented him for it. Now Bill's applying that mellow to Wyatt. I think Wyatt should wait to fill out that new W-9, if you ask me.

Bill admitted he'd been obsessed with Steffy, an obsession he rebooted not five seconds after Wyatt reported that Hope was carrying Liam's baby! Bill suddenly saw his way back to Steffy like Hansel and Gretel following those bread crumbs. Wyatt cautioned his pop with a simple "Don't," but Bill interpreted that to mean "Don't waste time going over to Steffy's and making a case for yourself again."

I'll give Bill credit for knocking for a change -- and his Liam-related ponderance, "What is that walking Ping-Pong ball going to do now?" Bill asked the same of Steffy, who was ready to hurl when Bill hinted they might have their day after all. I dunno...maybe Bill has a point. I still think Kelly could turn out to be his, which would simplify everything. He was seen skulking around the hospital when Steffy had her paternity test.

REPOTTING

Over at the Bikini Bar, which is now outside (also, I thought Sly burned it down in 1996), Thorne and Katie were all about flirting and playing hooky from Forrester. With only Hope, Pam, and the interns over there, I'm surprised the place was running. And I'm sorry -- I just can't ship Thratie (Korne?) yet. Thorne, who lost a wife and daughter, deserves much more than Katie rebounding from her year-long involvement with Wyatt.

Arguments could certainly be made as to why Watie would never have lasted long-term, but it seems callous of Katie to just act as if Wyatt never existed. It's almost up there with Katie sleeping with Nick while he was married to Bridget, even if she had that whole heart/dying thing going on then. Katie loved Wyatt; she can really turn off her feelings and give in to Thorne's hunkiness? Hmm. Maybe I answered my own question.

As for Wally (a smoosh name I still can't pronounce; let's see if I like Syatt better), they're almost a better match because at least they're both rebounding. Nothing like still being emotionally attached to others to really bond a couple. Sally and Wyatt are cool together, and I really want to like them, but it's the same thing. If Will hadn't opened his big mouth, Wyatt would still be with Katie. So, I can't ship Wally, either.

And Sally girl, I know Bill put you through hell and back, but if Grams were around right now, she'd slap you upside the head. I could understand Sally feeling sorry for herself after Thomas dumped her on top of everything else (you owe me an explanation, Pierson), but now? Not only did Sally get taken in by a cute guy, but she got a new friends with bennies and a job at Forrester out of it. Yet all she can do is complain!

Hope, Hope, Hope. Hope was trying to ruin her life! She was being railroaded! She's a target! Come on, this is not the feisty yellow-and-red clad Sally who invaded L.A. last year on a mission of conquest. Sally knows the Forresters have damn good reason for not trusting her after the fashion-cam theft, and by her own admission, she's aware she wasn't brought on to design right out of the gate. So, what is her problem?

Maybe Sally had better see Taylor's therapist, because this victim mentality is not becoming. Wyatt was spot-on when he advised Sally to excel at everything Hope gave her to do and earn a chance. But all Sally can hear is Hope scoffing that she'd never be allowed to design. Now, as it's become clear, Sally's grievances are all part of a setup that's happening because the British are coming! Maybe Sally's a victim, after all!

WEED IT AND REAP

"What the hell are you painting on the wall, Moondoggie?" I was glad Bill addressed that Wyatt's address is still his, that Wyatt should have asked before commissioning a mural, and that Wyatt isn't going to get kicked out. And Moondoggie is a reference to Gidget, a '60s TV show and movies about a groovy surfer girl. It was also time to explain why some new, strange, curly-headed chick up and walked into Wyatt's pad!

Ah, so it was the painter girl that Wyatt had told Sally he'd met! Nice foreshadowing and follow-through, I have to admit. Though I wonder what happened to the artist that painted Sheila's portrait last year. Oh, well. Wyatt and Sally already knew Zoe, who took a break from crafting waves, sand, and surfboards on Wyatt's wall to filch laptops. Sally's laptop, specifically!

Maybe Sally deserved having to scour the place for her computer. After all, she was supposed to be working at Forrester instead of sitting around bitching about her coworkers. She even made ready to go in to work and then made Wyatt instead. Not exactly the way to impress people who already have a low opinion of you. Zoe saved Sally, though, by placing the laptop where Sally could find it. Wasn't that nice?

Not really. It soon became apparent that Zoe had an axe to grind, maybe literally. She cast glares everywhere and grimaced when she got a notification on her phone that Emma had posted a picture with Xander. (Instagram does push notifications? Okay...) Zoe went back to her place -- at least she has one, unlike many B&B denizens -- and thoughtfully petted her kitty like she was James Bond villain Blofield.

Which wasn't too far off the mark! Through the device of exposition, somewhat saved by Harry the cat getting news new to us, we learned that Zoe was Xander's ex-girlfriend from London! And she was not happy that Xander was getting to know Emma. Hey, he broke up with Zoe via handwritten note; I wouldn't be happy with Xander, either. But not to worry, Zoe told her feline companion. She knew how to get Xander back!

Meanwhile, Xander 'fessed up to Emma and revealed that his big secret was that he was British. "Why have you been hiding this?" Emma wanted to know, and that's what I'm wondering, too. Emma being a Barber actually has far more repercussions than Xander having an accent. He told Emma there was something he'd left behind in the UK, but we soon got more blanks filled in because of Xander misfilling a blank.

Seriously. This dude wrote in his National Insurance Number from England instead of his American Social Security Number on his application. That could be excused by Xander's being a dual citizen and writing in his NINO out of habit. But, please: apparently a NINO has letters in it, and Forrester's HR department didn't flag this minutes after Xander turned in his forms. Why did that take weeks?

Lo and behold, this slip-up has no impact outside of Xander being maneuvered into confessing his bad breakup with Zoe to Maya and Julius. Was anybody else ready to smack Papa J? "Women have always been drawn to the Avant men," he bragged. This from the man who cheated on Vivienne with Lucy and hid his child with her for 20 years? I'm surprised Maya didn't react. It was just locker room talk, I guess.

Xander reported that Zoe could be "obsessive," and in her flashback, she promised not to do something again. I wonder what Zoe could have done that made Xander bolt? Did she abandon kitty Harry like Liam and Hope did long ago to poor Bu? Xander is Harry's "daddy," according to Zoe, anyway. The "too attached" ex sussed out from Emma's post that she and Xander were at the Bikini and proceeded to superstalk them.

After Xander left and inexplicably gave Emma his credit card to pay for lunch, Zoe saw her chance and -- oops! -- dropped her drink on Emma's frock. This led to a chat between the young ladies, during which Zoe "apologetically" paid for Emma's lunch, and presumably Xander's. I expected Zoe to make off with Xander's Visa in the confusion, but nothing. So, what was the point of his card being in play?

BEET IT

Hope for the Future's web site was getting more threatening messages in its comments section, so Thorne decided to hire Ken, the IT specialist who helped Wyatt and Justin find out Liam had used Spencer funds to buy Spectra Fashions for Sally. (Some investment that turned out be.) Ken had Thorne and Katie hopping with his wisecracks and demands, but I kind of wish he hadn't been played for comedy.

Ken quickly determined that the menacing posts had been made by Sally because they could be traced to her unique IP address. Hold on. We all have our own IP addresses, based on our Internet service. Sally is living with Wyatt. So, no IP address would be linked to her; it's Wyatt's account. He should be declared the culprit! That little detail didn't stop Thorne from calling Sally into Forrester and firing her!

What is it with non-management employees pink-slipping people these days? First model Maya cans Emma, now designer Thorne thinks he has that authority. He doesn't; he should go to Ridge or the never-at-work-anymore Steffy and let one of them handle it. Thorne read off the offending posts to Sally. I don't know about you, but my closed captioning included one he didn't read: "Your pretty face won't last."

Sally argued that the existing posts seemed "pretty tame" -- they certainly do compared to what didn't actually air. Thorne announced that while Forrester hadn't pressed charges over Sally's design theft last year, they could still do so because the statute of limitations hadn't run out! If that's legally accurate, that's a slick plot point. Sally asserted she was innocent, though she rightly pointed out she couldn't prove it.

One thing the show isn't right about, though, is the fact that no names accompany any of these comments. Usually, you have to register to comment somewhere, even if you don't use a real name. At the very least, you'd have to click that you were posting as "Anonymous." Yet HFTF's comments have no names connected to them at all. Zoe could have fast-tracked framing Sally by writing under her name!

And that's another thing! Zoe wants to get Emma away from Xander. Yet her plot is to get Sally in trouble for the inflammatory posts by using Sally's laptop. Zoe, honey, how does that even help you? You'd think Zoe would have framed Emma instead. Targeting Sally makes no sense. If nothing else, I could imagine Zoe arranging for Emma to break her leg during her next dance routine.

At least Zoe's entrance was one of the better ones for new characters in recent memory. Except for her entrance into Forrester Creations! Did you see her waiting in the loading zone and then simply sidling up to a moving clothes rack without the employee even hearing other footsteps beside him? Maybe that's how Sheila was always able to sneak into the place!

I mean, for real! Was Charlie too busy doing the Floss to notice an intruder? (Pam, sweetie, you shouldn't dance. Your 2010 Cat Dance still makes my fur stand on end.) Zoe managed to get backstage without being seen and positioned herself so she could watch Xander nuzzling Emma. "Stop it," she whispered. Xander and Emma must really be into each other if they didn't hear that!

What do you think, Scoopers? Is throwing babies into the Leffy/Lope triangle refreshing, or just prolonging the agony? Is Sally just feeling sorry for herself? Did Xander have a good reason for hiding his accent, after all? And will Zoe turn out to be a true loose cannon, or will her fuse fizzle out? Plant your comments in the Comments section below or on the soapcentral.com message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

"Think it would be interesting if Liam/Steffy annulment was not legal due to her being pregnant at the time & they are still legally married. NOW what does Liam do??!" -- Laurie

"I think it is hilarious that Hope is PG, will be nice to see how Liam handles this. He best stay single and just be a daddy to both and keep his pants zipped. Has anyone thought that these two babies will be siblings." -- Holly

"I am so glad Bill is sticking by his promise to Steffy. Her mother is safe and only Steffy can decide what is best for herself. Steffy will have to learn the hard way, as stubborn as she is, & she will need a shoulder to cry on when this is done." -- Miss Gracie

I've been informed by several of you guys that Steffy did, in fact, tell Liam that Taylor shot Bill, on the May 3 episode, evidently. I don't know how I could have missed that. Thanks for the 4-1-1, Scoopers!

I'm going to be on a "remote" for a few weeks, traveling to Los Angeles for Bewitched Fan Fare (see my books' Facebook page), then Hawai'i, where I spent part of my childhood; let's just say I have my own past to face down, so it will be far soapier than eating pineapple! You'll have to stay in suspense on that one, just like with what Zoe's next moves will be, so keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember, now more than ever, no matter color, creed, religion, gender identity, orientation, or nationality, we're all beautiful.

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