31 flavors, or, "Who Shot B.S.?"

Caroline stalked up, Bill woke up, and Ridge got locked up. Has justice been served, or is the L.A.P.D. actually no closer to knowing who tried to ice Bill? Explore the flavors with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you decide to replace Michael Jackson as the Gloved One? Did you propose telling someone about a proposal? Did you wind up in handcuffs but not in the privacy of your bedroom? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Spectra-Avant clan this week!

Yee-haw, Scoopers! It's 1980, and the Forrester Mansion has become Southfork. While Bill Spencer doesn't deal in oil (and I only now realized his initials are B.S. -- how perfect!), he's oily enough that your fave L.A. residents have taken a page out of Dallas' playbook, with pretty much all current and returning cast members having a reason to call Bill "J.R." But did the wrong person get arrested? Let's Scoop about it!

CAN YOU FEEL THE GLOVE TONIGHT

We picked up from March Madness with the madness of one Caroline Spencer. Yes, the woman who made a slo-mo entrance out of a limo six years ago (and was initially treated as if she were a saint because of her long-departed namesake) didn't wrap her hands around her uncle's throat to fit him for a tailored shirt. I can't quite decide if Caroline's behavior tracks with her usual M.O. I'm working on it.

Caroline went from saint to sinner for a while in 2013, tormenting Maya in an effort to keep her away from Rick. I wondered then if Caroline's personality change could be attributed to the tumble she took off of Bill's balcony, but those events were never linked up. The girl with two moms put her halo back on even through Rick flaunting mistress Maya in her face, marrying Ridge, and having her stepson's baby.

Speaking of her two moms, Thomas announced that Karen and Dani were taking care of Douglas, since Caroline had gone AWOL. A little astounding that Karen didn't rush to Los Angeles to see her comatose half-brother (and that she wasn't automatically granted control of Spencer Publications in his absence, since she's half-owner), but I appreciated the mention. But Caroline didn't mention she had a new use for her gloves.

Did you know there was such a thing as "glove prints"? I didn't! Of course, I don't really watch crime procedurals. Having gone "to a dark place," as Thomas described it (and I assume he wasn't talking about her hair), Caroline seethed that Uncle Bill had forever ruined her relationship with Thomas, and now she was gonna make Bill say "uncle"! She squeezed his throat 'til he had trouble breathing and his monitors started making noise.

Now, wait a minute. How come the nurses didn't come running when Bill's condition changed? And won't Bill now have a visible mark on his neck that the amazingly thorough Detective Sanchez would surely see? Caroline ran into her relatives in the hallway, most assuredly not her usual cheery self, then ran when Sanchez started poking around. Could Sweet Caroline actually not be so sweet after all?

WHEN YOU TALLY THINGS UP...

Oh, soap gods on high, why hast thou forsaken me? I didn't realize how much I missed Sally and Thomas together until they comforted each other through the revelation that rumors of Caroline's impending death had been greatly exaggerated. Even though Tally realized they also had hating Bill in common, they also realized the fire was still burning between them and got down to some love in the afternoon, y'all.

You probably know by now that Courtney Hope and Alex Wyse are each set to exit stage right, as Snagglepuss used to say. It just dug the dagger further into my heart, knowing Spectra wouldn't get its rightful rebirth. Until Thomas declared he wanted to take Sally & Co. to New York with him and start up Spectra: Big Apple Edition! I could have kissed him! (Just returning the favor; he kissed me in a dream first.)

Before we could ponder if Coco would be leaving R.J. girlfriendless, Thomas popped in on his surprised pop and discovered that he and Ridge had more than Caroline in common. Yes, Thomas raged about Bill's manipulation of him to the point that Ridge had to ask the papa-puncher if he'd punched a hole in the Dollah. It really wasn't that unreasonable a question, and here's why.

Pierson Fod mentioned in an interview that Thomas' history included blowing up Rick's car, setting fire to Rick's house, and chucking Rick out a window. That when Pierson's predecessors were walking in Thomas' shoes; Pierson is awesome! Yeah, so Thomas' history certainly suggests a pattern of violence. Or, who knows -- maybe there are still some residual effects from those psychedelic berries Thomas noshed with Brooke!

I OWE MY SOUL TO THE COMPANY STORE

Surveying the City of Angels from his perch atop the Spencer Publications building, Justin kept his poker face on fleek upon finding out Bill hadn't actually gotten a chance to sign the papers that would have transferred power to him and stripped Liam and Wyatt of it. Wyatt busted through the doors like John Wayne ambushing a saloon and demanded that "CEO" Barber pony up and show him the receipts!

The usually smooth Justin was so nasty Janet Jackson about CGI'd him into her famous video, but I didn't find it out of character. And actually, the fact that Wyatt had no problem going up against Justin made for one of the more entertaining scenes of the week! "That's why Dad keeps you around," Wyatt realized, doing his best Adam Carrington. "You're good." But not good enough for Wyatt to back down!

Again, I don't think Justin shot Bill because he's being too obvious with his power grab, but, having been ratted out by Justin, Wyatt found Detective Sanchez in his face with accusations of attempted patricide. Sanchez shook the tree pretty hard, but Wyatt didn't fall out; Wyatt insisted that, no matter how much the Spencers feuded with each other, murder simply wasn't in their bag of tricks. And I don't believe Wyatt's guilty, either.

BLOWING OFF STEAM?

Also on Sanchez' list was Liam, who was thunderstruck to learn the detective knew all about his dad schtupping his wife (thanks, Justin). Steffy and Hope jumped to Liam's defense, explaining that Liam wouldn't even kill an animal for dinner, let alone an animal like his father. It's true; I can't see Liam being the shooter, even after Bill gave him a black eye and buried him under several tons of rubble before sexing Steffy.

With Sanchez sending the bloodhounds in another direction, Hope and Steffy picked that moment to stoke the coals of their cold war over Liam. It really seemed like an odd time to insert any Leffy/Lope foolishness. I know some of you have been crying foul over the former/current rivals' thin-ice friendship, but I find it refreshing. And, if the girls maintain it, it wouldn't be unprecedented in the soap world.

Let's use Dynasty as an example (yeah, I know, again). Would Fallon's friendship with Krystle have been as meaningful if Fallon hadn't spent two years scheming against her stepmother first? And Fallon bonding with Sammy Jo wouldn't have been as sweet had they not battled for Jeff in a horse trough first. Hope and Steffy's tussle over Liam was weak sauce by comparison, but a truce isn't impossible.

While Liam was in with the lifeless Bill, Hope inexplicably decided that was the moment to hip Steffy to the fact she knew about Bill's proposal because of Brooke. The shooting drama was going great guns there (ooh! An actual unintentional pun!); having Hope and Steffy barely bare their fangs just then really slowed the proceedings down. It didn't help that Steffy had just made another ill-timed case for Liam coming back to her.

Hope's motivation is decidedly ambivalent, though, I must say. She's obviously still about the feels where Liam is concerned, but she's not openly making moves on him, either. Also refreshing. But Hope going to Liam to tell him Bill had proposed to Steffy because "he had a right to know" was really baffling in the face of everything else going on. "Bastard!" Liam exclaimed, his anger in direct conflict with his wanting Bill to live.

Why did Liam even care? He served Steffy with annulment papers and pretty much told her she was a better match for Bill. Across town, Steffy laid into Brooke for blabbing to Hope. "It wasn't your secret to tell," the mostly absent co-CEO told her on-again, off-again stepmother. Steffy was right. I half expected her to blackmail Brooke in retaliation, like she did when Brooke "accidentally" mask-boinked Oliver.

Steffy was ready to dust off that old "HO For the Future" sign but instead got up in Hope's grill about spilling her business to Liam. Steffy wanted to know: does Hope want Steffy's husband? I want to know: does anyone care? Leffy/Lope burned me out so much during 2011 and 2012 that even six years hasn't been enough to make me want to see another go-round of it. Also, I think Steffy is in denial about her feelings for Bill.

WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO

Presumably having his fill of fevered dreams about currency with his face on it and every building on the West Coast bearing his name, big bad Dollar Bill surprised everyone by making a slow return to consciousness. Detective Sanchez was on the tyrannical tycoon, as Jeff Foxworthy once said, like a pit bull on a three-legged cat. Ignoring the doctor's insistence Bill be left alone, Sanchez peppered Bill with questions.

Bill couldn't remember the shooting or why he was in the hospital, but faster than you can say undelicious hospital Jell-O mold (with fruit cocktail), Bill fingered Ridge! (Um...let me rephrase that.) I thought maybe the fact that Bill kept coughing was a hidden reference to his near-strangulation at the hands of his now-naughty niece, Caroline. Ridge's name was all Sanchez needed to hear to make a beeline for Forrester Creations.

You know, Detective Sanchez is pretty cute. Any chance we could get him to stick around for Ivy? At any rate, Liam swooped into to Bill's hospital room like he was hooked up to a jet pack, incredulous that his father could have proposed to his wife. Come on, Liam; what show are you on? Bill was barely able to put sentences together, but he got a rare genuineness across in telling Liam "I love [Steffy], too, son."

And let's not forget that Bill got there first, and Liam owes seven years of back-and-forthing with Steffy to a slippery bathtub. "But more than anything," Bill rasped, "I want her to be with you." Bill then promised that he'd never do anything like "that" again. Either getting shot in the back gave Bill a much-needed epiphany, or those are some damn good drugs they've got him hooked up to.

THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM

Back in Ridgeworld, the one-time Speedo Champion of the World raged about Bill to anyone who would listen. Ridge even did a halfway decent imitation of his nemesis for Brooke and Hope, which was more than a little amusing. Ridge has always been a hothead, but he was really going in for the overkill on this one. "I would have shot him in the head!" Ridge swore. Might wanna ask brother Thorne for a tutorial on that one.

Brooke was getting freaked out by Ridge's caveman routine. Isn't this the woman who left Bill because Bill punched his son in the face? Plus, Brooke once left Ridge because he and Rick had come to blows. Ridge had better watch out, or this eighth legal marriage could be over in record time. Well, Sanchez did his best NYPD Blue and brought a cop in, without the cussing, to arrest Ridge!

Did I call it, Scoopers, or did I call it? I told you the wrong person would be arrested. Ridge might have come back after the Spencer manse's security cameras glitched off, as Bill implied, but Ridge has made so much noise about his hatred for Bill that my soapy senses say Ridge didn't do it. But there'd be no drama if the actual culprit was apprehended right away, would there?

Sanchez threw the book at Ridge, but I don't think he read it first. Why? Because it took Liam and Brooke to each, separately, question how Bill could be so sure of any shooter's identity when he took a bullet in the back. Brooke pounced on it when Bill acknowledged his house had been dark. "You have no idea who shot you," Brooke said, managing to keep her trademark one tear sucked up into her eyeball. "Admit it!"

I wonder if Ridge's rap sheet is going to play into any of this? He was arrested in 1997 for shooting Grant Chambers, though no one knew Ridge was taking the fall for fugue-state shooter Rick. In 2007, Shane McGrath shot himself in front of Ridge, who dumped Shane's body into the ocean and framed Nick because Ridge was afraid his prior gun conviction would send him up the river, which it did for a while when the truth came out.

So, is Ridge still on the no-gun list with this being his third arrest? Will his record determine how a judge views his case? I hope the show will tap into this major bit of continuity, especially since they were so good about it the first time. Meanwhile, Ridge can get some inspiration for a line of prison-themed couture, though somehow, I don't think orange is really his color. What do you think? Did Ridge do it?

ROMPER BOMPER STOMPER BOO

With all the focus on Ridge, Justin, and the Spencer brothers, I kept wanting to look into my Magic Mirror and say "I see Pam and Sheila and Jarrett and Maya and..." Well -- wouldn't you know, B&B read my mind! And that doesn't happen often! Friday's ep was full of other potential suspects, starting with Pam, who watched Ridge get arrested with a look so haunted, Maya practically had to call in paranormal experts on her.

Yeah, Pam sulked her way down to Il Giardino, where Maya snagged some take-out and Sheila snagged a chance to overhear Pam reporting that Ridge had been arrested for shooting Bill. Sheila seemed a little too gleeful that Ridge got his mugshot taken the same place she had last year when she was wrongfully jailed for shooting at Quinn, but Sheila's smirk is a total red herring. As I keep saying, Sheila is way too obvious.

Less obvious is Jarrett, who, despite his mealy-mouthed demeanor, had the huevos to approach Justin about rehiring him now that Bill was out of the picture. When Jarrett popped off that Bill deserved to meet the business end of his own gun, Justin wondered if Jarrett had done the popping. And the list goes on. We got a great montage of the aforementioned accused, then a pan across the faces on Sanchez's board.

It was a great reminder of all the players in play, and the board didn't even cover everyone. I still think Saul and Shirley are possibilities. I'm rather enjoying Bill's ordeal, not only because it may be the first true umbrella story on B&B that's encompassed the entire cast, but also because Ridge, Thomas, etc. are right -- Bill did have this coming! After nine years of tormenting friends, foes, and family, Bill needed comeuppance!

And after all that, I almost forgot to mention -- as I write this, it's B&B's 31st anniversary! Hence the "31 Flavors" idea above. This also means it's been a year since the new old theme returned to open every episode, which still makes me happy? What's making you happy about B&B right now? What isn't? Read your rights in the the Comments section below or on the soapcentral.com message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column!

Well, Scoopers, I'm not sure when I'll see you next. Also, as I write this, I am just about out the door on my way down to Florida because my father seems slated to make a storyline-dictated exit very soon. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but, as soon as I'm able, I will be back to call 'em like I see 'em in regard to B&B. In the meantime, keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember, now more than ever, no matter color, creed, religion, gender identity, orientation, or nationality, we're all beautiful.

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