Kill Bill?: Volume 1

Good will flowed between rivals Ridge and Thorne, plus Hope and Steffy, while Watie waded back to each other. So why does Bill have a bullseye on his back? Go off half-cocked with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you get a wake-up call that did and didn't come from your phone? Did a first baby picture make you feel like you came in second? Did you discover revenge is golden? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Spectra-Avant clan this week!

Well, here we are, Scoopers. I have a confession to make: I'm having trouble starting this week's column. Ordinarily, I'd let loose with my usual snarky self and line-skirting wordplay, but given Friday's reel-life cliffhanger and the recent real-life goings-on, I'm finding myself backing off. If you didn't see it, here's the spoiler alert you'd get by the end of this column, anyway: Bill got shot.

There are reasons I think we might have gotten punk'd by that scene, but I'll get into that later. My first reaction was, "How can B&B wave guns around so soon after the mass shooting at Stoneman Douglas High School? And in the aftermath that's stoked up America's gun debate to an all-time high?" It just seemed incredibly, incredibly tone-deaf to me.

But then I remembered -- and I think it would help for y'all to remember it, too -- that B&B tapes in advance. There's no way anyone could have known when these scenes were filmed that they'd be aired alongside this particular set of circumstances. The same thing happened in 2007 when Shane killing himself in front of Ridge coincided with the mass shooting at Virginia Tech. I guess it's the world we're living in.

So, I'm caught between the rock of feeling an intense need to be sensitive in regard to those who did and did not survive the Parkland shooting and the hard place of my obligation to write about stories on B&B as they happen. I just didn't want to dive in without acknowledging recent events and my desire to step carefully going forward in light of them. 'Nuff said; we've got some B&B to cover. Let's Scoop about it!

A ROSE WITHOUT A THORNE

The week started with Katie studiously searching Thorne's mouth for fillings -- with her tongue. Hey, Thorne was giving me ideas in his slammin' suit/vest combo. But I was like, dang! Katie couldn't have cared that much for Wyatt if she was willing to fly past first base with Thorne moments after Wyatt called the game. But then Katie called a time-out. It was too soon for her, said she, heaving and panting all the way.

So, instead of dining out à la Katie, Thorne suggesting dining out with Katie à la carte instead -- which Katie deferred to another time. I guess the baseball analogy was apt, because Thorne has struck out twice with Logan women in just a few months. All he needs to do is get rejected by Donna, and he'll be sent to the showers. Which I can't say I'd mind seeing.

Wyatt made the rounds, first telling Liam he ditched Katie for kissing Thorne, then mama Quinn. The conspicuously absent Quinn did such a poor job of hiding her glee that Wyatt had to ask his mom to contain her enthusiasm. Wyatt couldn't understand why Katie had ignored his let's-rethink-the-breakup text, and he decided to reach out and touch her instead. Old phone slogan, my millennial friends. No gutter here! This time.

Not putting two and two together when Brooke noticed that Katie's Quinn-spying telescope was pointing in the exact direction Thorne tried to reboot her (Katie and Thorne did have a brief flirtation in 2007 after Katie busted Donna for trying to marry Thorne as revenge against Stephanie), Katie was further confused as Wyatt arrived, determined to explain why he had bolted on their no-strings-attached relationship.

Well, yeah, as Jeff Foxworthy once said, "This is information you need." When Wyatt admitted he'd split because he'd seen Katie and Thorne sittin' in a tree, Katie's expression was kind of a sheepish "Oh, that." Notice how she didn't really seem sorry for getting a slight beard burn from Thorne's newfangled stubble. But Katie got woke when Wyatt deemed it a wake-up call that had made him jealous enough to acknowledge the feels!

And wouldn't you know it, Katie had the same feels. Watie professed their love to each other! I actually was pretty jazzed about that. I like them as a couple, and they've been seeing each other for over six months, so it didn't seem untimely when Wyatt whipped out a ring and proposed! Okay, maybe Watie should settle into a committed dating sitch first before going for the ultimate commitment. But it was still sweet. I tingled.

And laughed! Wyatt opens a box and a blue light comes on. What, did he get this ring at K-Mart? Is he actually giving Katie the Hope for the Future diamond? (He can't be; there was no bell tree accompanying it.) Katie was just glad to literally have a no-strings engagement after wearing Ridge's string for months. And Thorne...guess he gets a free pass for deleting Wyatt's text, since it brought Watie back together; aww.

THE ULTRASOUND OF SILENCE

Either Steffy thinks she's become Buddha or that her tummy is a genie lamp, because she wouldn't stop rubbing it. Yes, Steffy "My Hand Is Superglued to My Stomach" Spencer thinks if she grazes her baby bump often enough, Liam will forgive her for sleeping with Bill. Man, if I were Liam, I would lock myself in my hotel room. How many times are Steffy and Ridge, now also Wyatt and Hope, going to browbeat Liam with this?

Seriously, that's all Liam's heard for two solid months. I think it would be better story if Liam didn't forgive Steffy, but for real, let Liam come around to it on his own if that's where his heart leads. And now that Steam has seen an ultrasound of their growing baby girl, the new facet to hounding Liam is, "Do it for the baby do it for the baby do it for the baby."

Look, I'm not a parent, and never wanted to be; my own parents stayed together for me and my brother for a while before they divorced. Neither situation was ideal, but I still think it doesn't benefit a child whose parents are only together for him or her. Liam has clearly stated he can't look at Steffy without seeing her with Bill. Does Steffy really want her daughter to grow up with that kind of tension in the house?

Maybe Liam should try to work things out the way Hope did when she recreated the scene of the "crime" where Brooke mask-boinked Oliver. Heck, maybe that's why Hope understands where Liam is coming from -- she's been there, which I wish the show would mention. Of course, Hope and Oliver weren't married like Liam and Steffy, nor had Holiver (Ope?) ever had sex themselves.

Hope is decidedly Team Steam this go-round, which is an absolutely refreshing change. I find her burgeoning friendship with former rival Steffy sheer delight. When I heard Hope was coming back, I expected her and Steffy to battle it out for Liam again, this time with more than pastries. That Hope clearly still feels something for Liam but champions his reunion with Steffy is unexpectedly warm. No Leffy/Lope 2018 works for me!

Hope nearly jumped up and down to hear Steffy's having a girl and concurred that Liam's "not yet" declaration in terms of forgiving Steffy was a good sign. Steffy gushed that she might owe her marriage to Hope, and the girls hugged. It's really a new twist, though I don't know how long it's going to last. Hope's heart is very much with Liam, but not Wyatt, the husband she lost a baby with.

That may explain Hope's extreme reaction to Steffy's ultrasound. While Liam (who perhaps not coincidentally trimmed his beard to match the way it looked during Leffy/Lope 2011-2012) made suggestions for the philanthropic aspects of Hope's HFTF reboot, Hope caught a glimpse of Baby Spencer's first pic, teared up, and ran out faster than you can say "It's making me think of my own baby that died."

I wish B&B would touch on this. Hell, the whole reason Sheila initially slipped off the edge on Y&R was because she miscarried -- you'd think Hope would at least allude to her own loss, which was only the whole reason she fled for Milan. Wyatt never talks about it, either; you could say he and Hope clam up out of grief, but I don't get that undercurrent with them. It feels like the show forgot about Hott losing a baby.

THORNE ON MY SIDE

It could be that Brooke sashaying around in both honeymoon and Valentine's lingerie has put Ridge in an unusually good mood, because he's joking around as of old (you remember Ronn Moss's Ridge was a bit of a goofball when he wanted to be) and bestowing benevolence around Forrester Creations, agreeing to reboot the very Hope for the Future line he came home in 2013 to excise!

Yes, Ridge granted Hope's request to take the virginity-touting collection out of mothballs. (I guess with Steffy on board, we won't see any more "HO for the Future" signs!) Ridge even had an idea of who to put on the design team -- Thorne! Ridge was still feelin' the best man luv and gave his bro their parents' old martini mixer, which makes you wonder what Eric and Quinn are using now.

Have to admit, Thorne is a logical choice for HFTF. I assume the output of his Aly Designs had a youthful demographic if his work was a tribute to his departed daughter. So, Thorne joining the team and getting a chance to design at Forrester does make sense. Hope went right to work, roping in Rick, Maya, and Pam to give the line a "stronger message" with a "greater urgency."

But Rick and Maya never have a story without Nicole's uterus. Pam's been with Charlie four years, and she's never been a bride. Why can't other characters get full arcs instead of just the occasional scene? Oy. Anyway, Maya correctly said the world hadn't gotten any better since HFTF first came out (sing it, girl), though I'm wary of anyone "still wearing the clothes." We're talking high fashion. Isn't it passé after one season?

Some of you feel we may be heading for a Hope/Thorne romance, which would be bizarre. Granted, designing together is how Ridge and Caroline started out. Is it just me, or does it feel like the show doesn't know what to do with Thorne? It's like they're just throwing stuff at the wall with him and seeing what sticks. Thorne hasn't had a decent story since Darla died in 2006. His return should have had a more specific game plan.

SHOPPING AT TARGET

Even Steffy agreed with me that Ridge needs to STFU, because no matter how many times Steffy tells her dad that she slept with Bill of her own accord, he ain't hearin' it. Hypocrite much, Ridge? This is the guy who boned a doped-up Caroline 1.0 back in 1988 as a prank. By '06, he made love to Brooke, who was woozed out on antianxiety meds. In 2009, he cheated on Brooke with Taylor after gulping the same pills!

So, I understand Ridge's desire to protect his daughter, even if she's grown, but he needs to look in a mirror before he talks about taking advantage. Ridge might be shocked to learn that he and Bill are on the same page regarding Hope's return and the possibility of Hope coming between Steam. Wyatt even thought Bill privately wanted Hope to steal Liam so Bill could have Steffy for himself. Wyatt's on fire these days.

Wyatt and Katie both worried about being in the line of fire now that they were engaged and would have to tell Bill. I keep saying it -- why does anyone think Bill would give a flying fig? Even if he did, Bill has no room to talk. Katie is his ex-wife; Bill has no claim on her, and she's free to see who she wants, though admittedly, seeing Bill's son does get a little messy. For anyone who's not on this show, that is.

No, the most important part here is still getting ignored: Will's reaction. Imagine sitting down and telling your little boy you're going to marry his brother. Why B&B won't address that, I don't know. Look what happened when teenaged Rick went all fugue state and used Grant Chambers for target practice, and Grant was only Rick's stepfather. Katie should keep kindergartener Will away from Bill's gun collection until he can get preemptive counseling.

Remember when Bill tried to impress R.J. with his cache of cash and weapons? Apparently, Bill got a golden rendition that looked like something out of an old-school 007 movie. Sure, playing with a gun in a place of business is a good idea, because every time someone leaves one lying around on our soap, shots get fired. And when you're Bill and you piss people off for a living, you're leaving yourself wide open.

BULL'S-EYE?

Sally showed up at Spencer, this time not turning around and following Liam to motels but instead asking Bill why he'd been canceling their appointments to discuss the rebuilding of Spectra. Well, Sally's hair got redder as Bill growled, "That promise was connected to Liam," and since Liam no longer punched in at Spencer, Spectra Fashions was out of luck. There would be no rebuild!

What the serious hell? Bill couldn't apologize enough after he nearly crushed Liam and Sally under the original Spectra's wreckage, damn near picking out the color scheme for their new digs. Guess Bill's taking his d**k pills again, 'cuz he couldn't throw Sally out fast enough, not before shining up his picture while she read him the riot act. What, Bill can't have Steffy so he's taking it out on everyone else?

Turns out Sally has something else in her attack arsenal besides tiramisu -- she's a card-carrying gun owner. Furious with Bill, Sally went to a firing range with Shirley and Saul and turned a target into Swiss cheese. (Saul's response: "So hot.") Apparently, Shirley kept a gun at home and at her bakery, and she taught Sally and Coco how to defend themselves thusly as well.

Shirley foamed at the mouth, encouraging Sally to picture Bill as her mark, saying she'd love to aim at the real thing in retribution for Bill reneging on bringing Spectra back. Saul concurred, though he didn't want to see Sally in jail for actually doing it. Well, I figured, there's no way Sally would shoot Bill, anyway. She's already too obvious from hanging out at a gun range!

The jury's still out on that one. Bill was so nasty reiterating his refusal to honor his commitment to Spectra that even Justin was like "Oh, wow, that's dog." (Obscure Prince reference there for ya.) Sally, fresh from having told Bill his days were numbered, returned to Spencer to appeal to Bill's sense of decency -- but oh, yeah, Bill doesn't have one. So, Sally grabbed Bill's 007 gun and showed him how it works!

Or did she? We only saw Sally fire at Bill; we didn't see her hit him. And again, Sally shooting Bill the same day she practiced at a range is too on-the-nose. All that would happen then is she'd go to jail, and no more Sally! Though Deacon is currently cooling his heels in prison for shooting at Quinn...hmm...Sally and Deacon. Two misfits from the wrong side of the tracks? Wouldn't be the first prison romance.

After I had a moment to process it, I realized that we might have gotten pulled into Sally's fantasy. (Actually, B&B's own promo for next week tips the scales in that direction.) Besides, so far, we've had Ridge, Sally, Shirley, and Saul talking about Bill getting his. I don't want to get cheated out of a juicy murder mystery. Just wish we could avoid the tired gun scenario. I want someone to crack Bill upside the head with Sky instead!

Well, we got through that one, Scoopers! Too bad the timing of Bill's comeuppance arc makes it a little dicey, but no one can deny he has it coming. Do you think Sally really shot him? If she didn't, who do you think would? Did you like Watie's reunion/engagement? And do you think Liam will ever forgive Steffy -- or should? Spill in the the Comments section below or on the soapcentral.com message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

"Staying together for the sake of a baby is so wrong. Why does everyone talk like we were back in the '60s or something? Liam and Steffy can co-parent without being married or together. Badgering Liam day after day is not the way to get a person to trust you again. I am sick over what they have done to Thorne. He looks like the town moron, ready to jump the first available female." -- Eileen

"[Thorne] reminds me of those faux-feminist dudes who try to convince women they'd be empowered by sleeping with them...I'm a Still fan, so I'll root for Liam & Hope if it means that Bill will swoop in and distract Steffy until she sees just how lame Liam actually is. I also hope this happens before any sparks ignite between Bill and Sally Spectra. Pair her up with Wyatt, if they must, or better yet, Thorne!...[plus] it hurts my brain to see so many wafflers preach about commitment like they know anything about the compromises that go into raising a child within a marriage." -- Bianca

I was thinking...Steffy and Liam wanted to name the child they lost Aspen, owing to the fact that's where they had their first wedding. How about if Steffy names her daughter Phoebe after the sister she lost? Unless, of course, the baby turns out to be Bill's; that's where I'm laying my money. In which case, we'll have to call the kid Wilhelmina!

Almost forgot! Pierson Fodé is bringing Thomas back for a while, starting March 9! Wonder if he'll finally find out Caroline was never dying and have his own axe to grind with Bill? Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember, now more than ever, no matter color, creed, religion, gender identity, orientation, or nationality, we're all beautiful!

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