If I Wrote B&B: 2018, or, B&B: A New Hope

Liam didn't have hope for the future, but Hope did! Hope Logan is back, and so is Two Scoops' Mike's yearly rundown of what he'd do with B&B. Feel the Force!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you make belly-rubbing an Olympic event? Did you come home with a new designer face? Did you wonder what B&B 2018 would be like in an alternate universe? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Spectra-Avant clan this week!

Here it is, Scoopers! We made it to 2018, and this is my first official column for it. New progressive lenses to get used to in seeing my laptop screen, and a new Hope Logan to get used to on my TV screen. This is usually also the time of year where I dust off my crystal ball and look into a B&B of my envisioning for the twelve months ahead.

Won't be devoting a whole column to it because I've been busy preparing the eBook of I, Samantha, Take This Mortal, Darrin for release on Tuesday, but I still have plenty of bold and beautiful ideas. Let's Scoop about it!

TONIGHT I'M GONNA PARTY LIKE IT'S 2010

What is it about Januarys and people smearing their blood on things in response to Bill's actions? Eight years ago, when Bill had control of Forrester, Ridge cut his hand on a Spencer award and pulled a bloody version of Lady Gaga's Applause video to protest Bill's presence. Now Liam crushed his necklace and wiped plasma on his pop to protest Still. Not like Quinn to make such chintzy jewelry!

Also, what is it about Januarys and Hope coming home? In 2010, the I'm-really-supposed-to-be-eight Hope emerged from the SORAS pod in the form of Kim Matula, nearly getting raped by a photographer and crying about Ridge calling her creation a stain on the family name before settling into five years of Liam-chasing. Now, Annika Noelle steps into the role, her Hope apparently ready to start afresh. More about that later.

I'm really dubious about Hope being back. I guess, after going through several incarnations of Leffy/Lope from 2010-2013 and a few cycles of Lope/Hott from 2013-2014, I'm not excited about getting on that particular marry-go-round again. I like Annika's Hope so far; I "hope" she'll get something different to do this time besides bounce between the Spencer boys or battle another female for one of them.

BEST FRENEMIES FOREVER

I was really surprised to see Katie offering a shoulder to Steffy. Of course, that wouldn't have been necessary had Steffy not left her paternity test results out twice. Smooth move, Ex-Lax! But this isn't the first time Steffy has bent Katie's ear. After Steffy lost Liam's baby in 2013, she ultimately confided in Katie that a subsequent botched D&C had left her barren.

There's been talk of Steffy's pregnancy being the stuff of miracles, but the show kinda forgot she had an experimental procedure done in Europe four years ago to reverse her barrenness. So, having a bun in the oven again shouldn't be a big deal. Anyway, Katie and Steffy are inexplicably tied together over Bill nearly leaving Katie for Steffy, but I suppose by now Katie has moved on enough that she doesn't hate Steffy for it anymore.

Over at Spencer, Liam and his bandaged hand were packing hurriedly to avoid Bill. Should have done that overnight, but then Wyatt couldn't have come in to find his bro in a decidedly dejected state. I always say this: I get much more out of Liam and Wyatt bonding than I do their fighting over women. When Liam finally admitted their dad had done him dirty with Steffy, Wyatt was amazingly compassionate. Go, Wyatt!

I don't recall ever seeing Liam break down in tears before, but Wyatt held his sobbing brother; awww! Bill broke the sibling spell, insisting that Liam return to Steffy and not make the mistake Bill had in not being there to raise his boys. Last week, Bill said his father abused him -- when did that happen? Before Bill Sr. was seen doting on Caroline following the show's 1987 premiere? Some history got rewritten there, methinks.

TARGET AUDIENCE

Bill claimed readiness to accept bullets, but despite all his tears and howling "What have I done?", I don't think the Dollah is all that sorry. When Liam advised Wyatt to likewise jump the Spencer ship, Bill barked, "Don't put your brother in the middle!" I'm sorry, what? Like you didn't do exactly that, making Liam and Wyatt your right-hand men and then forcing Wyatt to side with you over Spectra's demolition? Girl, you tried it!

Hearing Bill had slept with Steffy, Wyatt found something he'd been missing for months -- his balls. Wyatt flamed his father like he was posting in a late '90s chat group. I liked Bill explaining the Still stats from before Wyatt came to town; when Bill said of Steffy, "I loved her first", Wyatt fired off with "What the hell is wrong with you?" Wyatt wasn't co-signing Bill's BS this time. He was standing with Liam. He was walking out!

While Wyatt didn't really end up walking out, or at least pressed pause on it, Bill's words about Steffy made me feel as if what we're seeing is a full circle moment that took over eight years to happen. Bill and Steffy were a thing, wrongly; Steffy only ran to Liam after he saved her from drowning in a bathtub...five seconds after Bill had dumped her. Now Steam is over because of Still. Should it have been Still all along?

Next came Katie, who gloriously reminded Bill that she had been on the losing end of Still and called him out because "over and over again, you sacrifice the things you love for what you want." Oh, yeah. Katie knew Bill had always wanted Steffy, and now everyone was paying the price for his pent-up passion. The show is so much richer when it honors its history like this and builds current story out of past events we witnessed.

GET YER RED-HOTS HERE

After a brief visit with Steffy, Wyatt rushed to Katie, who also seemed in need of thanks-I-needed-that sex. You know, because finding out a loved one's marriage is toast always puts me in the mood. Watie then did a weird dance around each other, trying not to let on that they knew about Still. Not sure what the point was, but their afterplay included a long dissertation on whether or not Liam and Steffy's marriage would survive.

Hope coming back already stirs up memories of Leffy/Lope, when characters all over the canvas filled episodes talking about one couple's romantic travails. I "hope" we're not in for a reboot of that particular practice. Meanwhile, Liam stormed out of Spencer and nearly ran down Sally Spectra! Hey! Where's she been since Thanksgiving? Visiting Shirley, Saul, and Darlita in the apartments they don't have?

Maybe Sally came to Spencer to find out how the rebuilding and relocation of Spectra Fashions was coming along. Rather than clue us in on that pivotal piece of information, Sally went stalker and followed Liam to, appropriately enough, Sheila's motel! Free breakfast and bullet holes with every stay! What, Liam saw the place when Steffy went gun moll on Sheila, decided he liked it, and bypassed the Trivago guy?

When Liam avoided Steffy's 3024th call -- amazing after Steffy said Liam's phone was off -- Sally, who wasn't taking the hint that Liam wanted to be alone, assumed his troubles had to do with Steffy. "I ruined your marriage!" Sally lamented. Take comfort, Sally; if Bill hadn't pushed you and Liam together pushing for Sky, none of this would be going down. Good thing Bill likes mirrors; he needs to study himself in hundreds of them.

YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE

Over at Casa Brooke, Ridge had a surprise for his once-and-future "destiny." Lizzie is running Forrester Creations because its co-CEOs never comes in to work anymore? No, the surprise was Hope, whom Ridge convinced to move home from Milan. Hey, first Donna visits L.A., now Hope. Given Ridge's recent penchant for pleasing Brooke with missing relatives, I bet he could bring Beth and Storm back from the dead, no prob!

Hope had apparently learned bunches overseas, but she never elaborated on what. Instead, she hinted that she might fire Hope for the Future up again. Lawd, I "hope" not. I think we got enough of the purity-protecting line the first time. Besides, doesn't a fashion line come out for just one season before it's replaced with something else? Even Ridge said it was a different market now. With any luck, Hope was just brainstorming.

Hope was ready for new challenges, yet she apparently didn't date anyone in the three years she was gone and rose to the occasion the minute Brooke mentioned Liam. Gee, no love for Wyatt, whom Hope only lost a baby with? That tragedy was only the whole reason Hope ditched L.A. in the first place. Even Rick seemed to think his "prodigal sister" stayed away because Liam had married Steffy.

Side note: what are Rick and Maya smoking? Rick bitched about how Ridge "cheated on my mom with Quinn," which Maya labeled "disgusting." Excuse me, you two, what you did was way worse! Quidge kissed a few times; you guys carried on a consummated affair behind Caroline's back until you flaunted it over Skype. I get that Rick will always think the worst of Ridge, but let's not even trip over here, okay?

HOPE AGAINST HOPE

Pam looked up upon hearing "No lemon bars?" and found Hope standing in front of her. Though you know I usually rail about the too-often-mentioned pastry, that was a cute reference. Before their exchange was even over, Sally burst into Forrester (where you think she'd be denied entry) and lit up seeing Hope. Apparently, Sally was a big fan of HFTF! The young fashionistas shook hands and stole away to convo privately.

Hope soon discovered that she and Sally had something else in common: they both dug Liam. Sally was so obvious that Hope commented on her catching feelings in just a couple of scenes. Then, Sally let it drop that Liam had left Steffy and moved to a hotel. You could just hear the wheels turning; these ladies need some WD-40. Hope and Sally declared they'd be there for Liam as friends, but we know where this is going, don't we?

Yep, it won't be long before Liam has three lovely ladies fighting for his affections. I think that might actually be novel for B&B, but I can't say it would be must-see TV, at least not for me. Plus, it's one thing for Sally to crush on Liam -- at least that's new -- but it doesn't say much for Hope that she's coming home after years away, still wanting the guy. Steffy did that, too. And Sally's lost her feisty edge since going Team Liam.

HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL

Liam's motel chat with Sally convinced him to go home and have a different chat with Steffy. Naturally, Steffy thought Liam was back to glue their marriage together and give their unborn child two parents. It quickly became clear he wasn't about that, but we dragged his refusal out a whole episode and left it on the same cliffhanger as the previous episode: would he forgive Steffy?

For my money, what I really liked was Liam talking about his mother, which he rarely does. He recalled how Kelly had worked to keep her child away from Bill and growled that he should have trusted her instincts. "Would she have warned me about you?" Liam asked Steffy. Remember, Liam only came to L.A. because Kelly urged him to before she died; I repeat it's when B&B taps its history that we get the richest moments.

IF I WROTE B&B: 2018

Okay, Scoopers -- it's time to jump into the DeLorean and travel to an alternate 2018 where the characters of B&B dance to my tune. It's gonna be shorter than in previous years, but it's still gonna be fun, so let's do it!

HOPE: She's back in all her trademark sweetness, which hides her true agenda: she blames Quinn for losing her baby. Hope's also furious at Wyatt for not protecting her from Quinn, so Hope visits Deacon in jail; papa is all too anxious to share with Hope his near-certainty that Quinn killed Ricardo Montemayor to get his diamond for Wyatt. Hope makes Quinn and Wyatt's lives a living hell, tormenting them with this information.

WATIE: Katie and Wyatt continue their secret affair, but little Will overhears them talking and gets confused, wondering if his brother is going to become his daddy. Even more troubled that he spends more time with Aunt Donna than at home with his mother, Will runs away; Katie and Wyatt race to find him, barely rescuing him from standing in the middle of a Los Angeles freeway.

BRIDGE: Ridge and Brooke do indeed get married...and that's that. No more triangles, waffling, etc. However, the Unforgettable Ones face challenges when Brooke finally starts coming to terms with her menopause; feeling unattractive, Brooke buries herself in work, going back into the lab and creating a 21st century follow-up to the BeLieF formula. Meanwhile, Ridge learns that he's Douglas' dad, after all, and Brooke struggles with raising a child who's younger than her grandchildren.

STEAM/STILL: Liam finds himself leaning toward Sally, but in his rage toward his father and estranged wife, he comes upon another copy of the recording in which Bill confessed torching Spectra. This time, Liam takes it to the police, and Bill goes to jail. Karen returns to run Spencer with Liam and Bill absent, bringing wife Dani with her. Steffy supports Bill behind bars and accepts Bill's proposal after she finds out her baby is his, after all; they get married in jail! Bill gets bailed out by his mother, Sylvia Spencer (played by As the World Turn's Elizabeth Hubbard), who constantly pulls on Bill's ear and keeps him in line.

SHEILA: Lauren Fenmore comes to L.A. for a Forrester fashion show and runs into her old nemesis at Il Giardino, giving Sheila a chance to properly explain it wasn't her Lauren "killed" in Genoa City, but Sheila's old cohort, Sugar, who had gotten Phyllis' face to impersonate Sheila and get revenge on her. Lauren blows up at Eric for not telling her Sheila is alive; Eric apologetically says he didn't want to disrupt her life. Sheila decides to genuinely attempt rehabilitation and makes the rounds to many of the people she hurt, in California and Wisconsin, resulting in lots of juicy flashbacks.

IVY: Tired of only designing jewelry all the time, the Plant tries speed dating, meets Justin, and begins dating him casually. Back at work, Ivy consoles Carter, who realizes it was only his loneliness that made him think he wanted Maya back, and before long, Ivy finds herself in a hot triangle with both Carter and Justin. Ivy finally gets a scene with mother Claire and half-sister Jessica, who's brought hubby Dylan for a visit, while Marcus swings by with Dayzee and growing Rosie, getting an earful from daddy Justin and adoptive bro Carter about their rivalry over Ivy.

SPECTRA: C.J. finally throws in with his old company; with the help of his father, Clarke, he buys the original Sally's old penthouse and turns it into the new Spectra Fashions, even building a runway on the high-rise's roof. With Clarke and Sally designing and Liam heading the executive wing, Spectra begins to kick Forrester's ass, especially when the disgruntled Thorne, who can't replace Ridge there, adds his design talents to Team Spectra.

THORNE: Thorne and young Sally share a flirtation, which annoys Liam -- until Sally lets it slip that Macy is still alive, albeit in a coma; Macy's mom, Sally, purposely ran off to tropical isles with Macy in tow to keep her away from Thorne after he betrayed Macy with Darla. Macy comes back to town, needing to be filled in on life since 2003, but her revived connection with Thorne gets diluted by a recently released Deacon, to whom Macy is still technically married.

SHIRLEY/SAUL/DARLITA: Shirley's carny daughter, Cynthia Spectra (played by Guiding Light's Kim Zimmer), arrives in L.A., asking Shirley to hide her -- she's out of jail, but she's still in trouble with the cartel she sold drugs for. Sally and Coco want nothing to do with their felonious mom. Eventually, the drug dealers find Cynthia and hold Shirley, Saul, Darlita, Sally, Coco, and R.J. hostage. The near-death experience has Saul coming out of the closet and free-spirited Darlita trying to build bridges with her conservative family, the Fuenteses.

THE AVANTS: Maya not only runs into trouble not being allowed to use a ladies' room while out with Rick, but she becomes the target of an anti-trans web site; Rick and Nicole are hurt in an explosion that was meant for Maya. Meanwhile, the Avants all begin to notice things missing, and Julius receives cryptic messages promising different kinds of punishments. Soon, Sasha comes to town, warning her not-family that her mother, Lucy, escaped an institution and wants revenge on the Avants for not accepting Sasha; Lucy kidnaps Lizzie, and during a tense showdown, Julius saves Maya from Lucy's bullet.

CAROLINE: Caroline must face Thomas when he finds out that she wasn't really dying; he splits New York after also learning he isn't Douglas' father. Caroline seeks comfort from mothers Karen and Dani in L.A. until Douglas needs help with rare genetic defect that endangers his health. When Ridge and Karen are incompatible, Karen is forced to finally tell Caroline that her father is Connor Davis, the man she almost married before leaving town in 1994. Connor is able to save Douglas and builds a tentative relationship with estranged daughter Caroline.

PAM/CHARLIE: The longest-standing couple on B&B finally gets married, but the bakers' happiness is short-lived when Charlie begins showing signs of Alzheimer's disease. Pam, who spent most of her life doting on mother, Ann, finds herself struggling with the idea of again having to devote all of her time to caring for a loved one. Donna, who buys her father Stephen a home in L.A. and finds romance with Connor, becomes Pam's unexpected source of support.

ERIC: All hell breaks loose when Eric receives a video from Massimo Marone, who just passed away: in it, Massimo confesses that he lied about Ridge being his son in an attempt to win back Stephanie but kept up the lie once Ridge and Bridget developed their attraction -- Massimo waited until he was on his deathbed to tell the truth so he could die knowing he brought down the Forresters! Actually being brothers ups the animosity between Ridge and Thorne instead of alleviating it; Bridget's world is rocked by finding out she really did kiss her half-brother, and Rick and Steffy are traumatized by the fact that they consummated a half-sibling relationship. The scandal further damages the Forrester brand, but in lighter news, Nick pays a visit to make peace with the Forresters, bringing now-preteen Jack home to see egg donor mom Brooke.

And that's what I've got for ya if I was penning scripts for B&B! Like it? Love it? Hate it? Got your own ideas of how you'd write the show for 2018? Talk to me in the the Comments section below or on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

"Hope and Sally can chase Liam down like a rabid dog for all I care. This former Steam fan is off the train and just waiting for #Still. So, Steffy fix your hair, wipe your nose and wing that eyeliner. $Bill is on his way (and he still has his billions)." -- Miss Gracie

"[Liam is] the male version of the old Hope. Holier-than-thou, sanctimonious and never owns anything. He can go work for Spectra now and they can create a Liam for the Future line of hipster fashion." -- "SteffyRulez2018"

"Why is everyone coming down hard on Steffy when Liam started this by gifting a thief who stole from his wife's family business a $50 million piece of property? Liam's need to be yet again, Rescue Ranger caused this drama & as usual is blind to his role in this." -- Kathy

"I'm in thunderous agreement with [your Best & Worst column's] #Bold30 omissions [in the Most Wasted Opportunities category]. It was a slap in the face to both Hunter Tylo and her fans that Taylor wasn't even so much as mentioned." -- Rhaegar

Well, y'all, Hope's back, so keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember, now more than ever, no matter color, creed, religion, gender identity, orientation, or nationality, we're all beautiful -- in 2018 and beyond!

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