Climbing Ivy, Poison Ivy

Is there something in the water in Los Angeles? Ivy Forrester has become the latest in a long line of B&B characters who have contracted Sudden Personality Switch Disorder. While Ivy resorts to blackmail for a modeling gig and shtups Wyatt into silence, Steffy's sweating through her dress shield because Lt. Baker and his hot dogs are on the case. And then there's that bothersome little video. Hit record with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you worry that video would kill the fashion house star? Did you end up being a wiener during your investigation? Did you boink your cares away? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!

What it is, Scoopers! True to form for B&B these days, two weeks have passed, and it's like a whole different show. Last column, it was all about Maya's wedding while Aly's death was forgotten; this time, it's "Maya who?" while dark beauties Ivy and Steffy battle (sort of) over the supposedly incriminating video of Aly being introduced to the business end of a tire iron. But has Aly's menacing spirit settled into her best friend's body? Let's Scoop about it!

First, of course, we should touch briefly on the mostly useless scene with Ridge and Katie at Il Giardino. At least we know now that Will is alive, and the accurate age of two-and-a-half at that. And sure, Ridge's "Bill and chain" joke was cute. But what's up with the mind-reading salad vibe? Is that supposed to be a hint that the door is open for a possible Kridge reunion? Man, I hope not. Kridge and their poetry prattling was dull as dishwater from the word go. CaRidge set the screen on fire when all they did was design! Don't mess with my CaRidge!

But there does seem to be some messing in the works, with Caroline jonesing for a baby and Thomas making goo-goo eyes at her. Isn't a couple threatened over whether or not to have a baby enough of a conflict without inserting a third person into it? I know B&B loves triangles like the deserts miss the rain, but there's enough drama in the younger Caroline and older Ridge grappling over biological clocks all by itself. Note to Thomas: Oliver needs a shoulder to cry on right now. And nu-nuThomas has got some shoulders!

In all seriousness, I am also enjoying Pierson Fod's take on the transplanted Thomas. He can handle the turmoil, whether it's going up against Thorsten Kaye's Ridge or going for vulnerability with sister Steffy. And Thomas does rather have his hands full, with his dad coming down on him for siding with Ivy in selecting the new face of Forrester instead of the more experienced Steffy. Of course, what Ridge doesn't know is that Thomas is being blackmailed by Ivy and her footage of Steffy's tire iron tirade! Whoa! Let's back that ass up! I simply cannot understand this relatively recent thing B&B is doing with making models out of Forrester employees the past six years or so. Do you see Donatella Versace modeling designs? Jean-Paul Gaultier? Tom Ford might strut around in one of his own suits, but generally, design houses have supermodels to do the strutting. If not, RuPaul wouldn't have that song to sing! Yet Forrester Creations routinely puts their executive staff on the runway. Okay, cost-saving measure in terms of casting, maybe, but completely lacking in reality.

So now Ivy, who has modeled exactly once, wants to be the newest new face of Forrester. I can't say keeping Steffy out of the limelight is a bad idea, given her involvement in Aly's death, but how dare Ivy try to grab that limelight for herself because she feels she's owed something for her silence? And Ivy, come on -- it's Blackmailing 101 to go straight to Steffy and hold your ill-begotten video over her head. Instead, Ivy goes to Thomas! Hasn't working with Quinn all these months taught you anything, girl?

Yes, Ivy Forrester has been stricken with Sudden Personality Switch Disorder, and it's really a shame. What made the saucy Aussie so saucy is that she had principles, and she wasn't afraid to fight for what was right. (Remember Ivy confronting Quinn after her river dance?) And before Ivy starts hashtagging #JusticeforAly, she should pay closer attention to the Magic Markered images of Steffy that Aly left behind. Ivy knew about the hate board -- so how can she think Aly is completely innocent in her fatal skirmish with Steffy?

At least Ivy is questioning her questionable behavior, unlike Caroline and Maya, say, who suddenly became different people for no rhyme or reason. I suppose we could even say Ivy is acting from a place of grief. But I'm gonna say it: Ivy has a responsibility in Aly's death, too. Oh, yes, I did! If I went after my best friend because I knew he was having a mental breakdown, and I saw him in a struggle on the side of the road, I'd fly out of my car and try to help him. I would not take the time to whip out my phone, open my camera app, and start filming. Ivy intervening could have made the difference between life and death.

You know it's a ridiculous story point, because even Steffy and Liam are asking, "Who does that?" Ivy doesn't even know why she picked that moment to be a camerawoman! Her iPhoning was all to create this drama-inducing video, which isn't really inducing much drama at all. Ivy clearly hates Steffy for taking Liam from her -- so why not take the video straight to the police? "Oh, I don't want to cause any scandal at Forrester," Ivy says. Please. People are always causing scandals at Forrester, and were doing so long before Ivy was born. Forrester Creations would survive.

And let's discuss those police! We've all seen enough crime procedurals to know that it can easily be determined whether Aly died from hitting her head on a rock, or getting hit in the head with a tire iron. Even if Steffy hit Aly on her arm or leg, there would be a telltale contusion. If Lieutenant Baker would put his hot dogs down long enough (good continuity, but about as annoying as Pam's lemon bars), surely he'd question why his fellow officers haven't unearthed this basic information, which the simplest of autopsies would reveal. No one's gonna tell me that Thorne, the first person who would want to know how Aly died, would take her body back to Paris without having an autopsy done.

That's our summer storyline, which is way better than watching Liam ride on the waffle-go-round like past summers, but this plot has more holes in it than Aly's head, especially the device of Ivy's dubious video. The freshly blackmailed Thomas told Steffy about it, which did give us Steffy going off on Wyatt in a scene that let Jacqueline MacInnes Wood show some fire. Now, why exactly is Wyatt all butt-hurt about Steffy reuniting with Liam? Wyatt and Steffy never even went out on a date! I could see him being disappointed, but not having a chip on his shoulder about losing what he never had.

If Marlena could be possessed by the devil on Days of Our Lives, I suppose 20 years later we could have Ivy possessed by Aly's ghost, because Ivy is sounding as paranoid as her departed friend/cousin. Going on about how Steffy has everything? Ivy was even convinced that Wyatt made ready to delete her all-important video simply because he's a Spencer male and apparently powerless against Steffy's considerable charms. This is the guy who could lift a diamond in front of a guard and a security camera, but he can't delete a video. You're slipping, Wyatt!

I will say it's interesting that Aly brandishing the rock is somehow obscured because of the angle from which Ivy filmed the Steffy/Aly struggle. Yet Ivy wants so much to believe that Steffy is guilty, Ivy won't even consider other possibilities -- the main one being that Aly was far enough off her rocker that she could have punctured Steffy's tire, charged at Steffy with her car, and then attacked Steffy, just as Steffy says. Deciding she'd figure out "how to use that video properly," Ivy talked Wyatt into keeping it, a moment that generated so much passion, they fell into bed. Huh?

Done right, Wivy could really have been something. But they've been ruined already. Wyatt likes Ivy being a bad girl, which is out of character for her, and, if Ivy were any further on the rebound, she could be one of the boomerangs her country of origin is famous for. It's even possible that Ivy, despite her talk of giving herself completely to a man, gave that self completely for the sole purpose of keeping Wyatt from deleting her video. Oh, Ivy, is this what we've come to? Keep it up, and I'll push you back into the Seine myself.

I sheepishly confess that I enjoyed Ivy blasting Liam, who looked as confused as he always does. He masterminded the takeover from Rick in the first place -- partially -- to ride to Ivy's rescue then broke up with her at Aly's memorial because of the takeover, which again put Liam in close proximity to Steffy's cha-cha-cha. Yep, Liam's near dead to me, and he deserved Ivy ripping him a new one. But it really baffled him when Ivy told him Steffy had more to do with Aly's death than Steffy let on. Steffy didn't tell Liam about Lt. Baker's visit, nor did she offer full disclosure about the events on the side of the road. "Are we back to you shutting me out when the going gets rough?" Liam queried. Touch.

Based on Ivy smirking that Liam should corner Steffy about what happened, Liam did exactly that, finally getting Steffy to say she had told the police the few things she remembered after Aly died, but other details only started filling themselves in afterwards. That's actually reasonable; it's easy to go on remote control in moments of high stress like that. "I swung it blindly," Steffy said of the tire iron, which is important for us to know. Then, when Steffy admitted that Ivy had committed the smackdown to video, Liam demanded to see it.

Given that all-too-familiar constipated look that played upon Liam's face once Ivy showed him the footage, Wyatt's words held that much more truth. Wyatt was sure Liam would start doubting Steffy's innocence and want to waffle back over to Ivy. Does Wyatt know his half-brother, or what? But Ivy really needs to stop yelling, "It was murder!" to anyone who will listen. Voluntary manslaughter, maybe. Too bad we can't get a good old-fashioned Dynasty-type murder trial out of this, but B&B never goes there. This story could really use a juicy courtroom battle.

Not that there isn't something intrinsically juicy about Caroline now being wedged in the middle of Thomas and Ridge after Thomas confessed everything about the night Aly died, from Steffy's side of the story to the open-to-interpretation video. That's a bit of a sticky wicket, as is Caroline's tit-for-tat admission that she and Ridge aren't in sync when it comes to the idea of having children. Yes, the stage is being set for Thomas to be the babymaker for Caroline when Ridge doesn't want to be. And why not go to Ridge with Steffy's dilemma, Thomas? Ridge could help!

You'd think everyone else had babymaking on their minds, too, because Friday's episode saw both Wivy and Leffy hitting the sheets. Hey, you expect some love in the afternoon on a soap, but the circumstances were a little odd. "Self-defense against what?" Ivy wailed regarding the Steffy/Aly encounter. Ivy wasn't even there for the whole thing! She keeps throwing the word "murder" around, becoming more and more unlikable -- though Wyatt was right to question what kind of relationship Steffy and Liam have if Steffy could keep such important details from him. On that cheery note, Wyatt and Ivy decided some sweet, sweet lovin' was just what the doctor ordered. Okaaayyy...

Even stranger, Liam came home in a daze after having seen the rockless video, insisting that Steffy go over all the details again. Why is Steffy settling for Liam's description of the video? You'd think she'd be pushing to see the incrimination for herself. Or that Liam would make sure Steffy saw the evidence against her. Steffy's still remembering the fatal night in pieces, which must mean soon it will come to her exactly where she hit Aly with the tire iron.

Thankfully, though it appeared we were being set up to believe that Liam's faith in Steffy would waver, he actually demonstrated some backbone and informed Steffy that he believed her; amazing, since she did give him an out he easily could have taken. This moment of devotion was followed by some Leffy-fied sheet-soaking, which I don't understand, either. I can't even eat in a crisis, let alone satisfy that kind of hunger! Liam, again showing some spunk (not that kind), swore that, whatever it took, they'd make sure no one ever saw Ivy's video. Which brings us right back where we started at the beginning of the week!

Ironically, Steffy's gotten in trouble with videos before. In 2010, Justin altered her tribute to Brooke. In 2012, Liam's chucked iPad recorded a clinch with Steffy that, of course, Hope saw. And in 2013, a video compilation of Steffy ended up in Quinn's hands! Maybe now that she's Forrester's president, Steffy ought to ban any recording devices within a five-mile radius!

Will Ivy go full-on psycho and set up an IMAX screen at Forrester so she can torture Steffy with her video in 3-D? Or will papa John come back from Australia with Ivy's original personality in his carry-on? Tell us any and all thoughts in the Comments section below or on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

• "All you people complaining about the Maya story line, shut up! Wonderfully paced story! Not to mention modern! The overall diverse look of the show is amazing. The viewers clearly like it, the ratings are holding up." -- MM

• "I have to agree that in the world we live in today, a man is not going to be jumping for joy to find out his son is now a daughter. I think Julius wants to...love his child but something in him is unable to. I think particularly...a black man in a country where within the past few decades a black man had to fight to be called a man rather than a boy, it is difficult. I'm glad to see it being played out because in much of the country, the reaction [to Maya] would be much more negative and could even lead to violence. I'm also glad to see the mother beginning to see the good that is happening to her child. But then, that's what mothers do." -- Powanaha

• "Great column, as always! I just love watching Ridge and Caroline together, whether it's a love scene, a playful scene or a heavily emotional scene. This couple has it all, great actors, amazing chemistry and great writing. I really hope the writers keep them together, even though I know the chances aren't that high on that happening." -- "callieab"

Maybe not, but the chances are high we're gonna have some Points to Ponder right here. Behold!

"I know it sounds cold, like I'm using Aly's death to advance my career," Ivy admitted. Um, honey, that's because you are. Though Ivy was on point when she complained to Wyatt, "[Liam] thinks we can still be friends; it's insulting!"... It was actually cooler when Lt. Baker looked like he was going to reach for the hot dogs and didn't, instead of going for the franks later on in an oddly timed comedic moment. Ridge stated he'd known the detective for a long time -- true! Baker first showed up in 1998, when Sheila lost it after years of teetering and shot Stephanie. The hot dogs didn't become a thing 'til about 2007...

Ridge told Katie that he didn't inherit Eric's paranoia or his lovability. Actually, Ridge, you couldn't inherit either, since Massimo Marone is your father... "Is this how we want to spend our night," Wyatt cooed to Ivy, "talking about other people?" Do you know what show you're on, Wyatt? All people do there is talk about other people!... More than once, Steffy relayed how Aly was about to "smash/crush [the rock] on top of me." No, Steffy, Aly was going to smack you in the head; you could say she was about to brain you. You make it sound like Aly was going to drop a boulder on you!

The mystery hot dogs, which of course were ordered for Lt. Baker's appearance, were actually for "Jake and his crew" according to Pam. Nice to know Jake still exists...how 'bout giving the former front-burner character a hot romance with the also-missing Donna?... Wondering if she'd developed a split personality (ahem), Ivy recalled that she'd "tricked Liam into marrying me." "That's Liam's favorite way to get married!" Wyatt retorted. Only one word for that: BAZINGA!

That's all I've got for you, my brothers and sisters in Scoopness! Chanel will bring you her take on what your favorite (and not favorite!) B&B characters are up to next week, and I will meet you back here Labor Day Weekend. Just don't make a drinking game out of Ivy and knock one back every time she says "murder," or you could wind up blitzed before you know it. Instead, keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

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