Boom-Chicka-Wow-Wow

B&B was pre-empted Thursday and Friday for basketball, but the Forrester-Spencer-Logans hit the court with their own game. Brooke dribbled booze. Aly called foul while her mother's head looked ready for a hook shot. And Ridge and Katie went for a slam dunk! Mull the March Madness with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you drown your sorrows over your Bridge collapse? Did your mother have a good head on her shoulders? Did you show your new love more than your heart scar? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!

Well, Scoopers, no one can say this wasn't an interesting week on The Bold and the Beautiful, even for having only three episodes. There were some dramatic moments, some head-shaking moments, some poignant moments -- and, of course, some Barry White moments. Light the candles, draw the blinds, and let's get our Two Scoops groove on!

March Madness always makes me recall that same week in 1995, and that Wednesday's cliffhanger. The Young and the Restless' Lauren Fenmore had crossed over to B&B, ready to expose the nefarious Sheila Carter. Sheila responded by engaging Lauren in an epic catfight that ended with Sheila thinking she had drowned Lauren in Eric's hot tub. Sheila frantically called her minion, Mike Guthrie, to help her get rid of the body. "I killed her," Sheila declared -- and then we had to wait 'til Monday. Chills, gentle readers, chills.

Today, we have two wannabe psychos that, together, come nowhere close to the epicness that was Sheila, but they try. Fresh from nearly getting chucked off a second-story railing by Quinn, Aly crashed a business meeting and declared that Wyatt was evil, evil, evil, because he had stolen a diamond and corrupted the ever pure Hope! Aly is partying like it's 2011. One Google search would tell her Liam trashed Hope's "message" eons ago. Two years ago, Hope was popping pills to be able to sleep with him!

Aly's laser-beam focus on Wyatt made her miss the obvious. All she had to do to get both Fullers thrown in jail was tell Eric that, just minutes before, his sometime kissing partner tried to fling his granddaughter headfirst into the parking lot! Problem solved. Instead, Aly simply pointed her finger at Wyatt, and I really don't understand her hateful obsession with him. Aly's core issue is that, as a child, someone she trusted (Taylor) was connected to her mother's death. How does that translate to Wyatt?

If anything, Aly should hate Hope, since, when they were kids, Hope told Aly that Taylor hit Darla with her car. The only sensible thing Aly said to Hope during her tirade was, "How can you defend him?" I was a little surprised that Hope went so far as to suggest that there are some things you have to make an exception for. Whaaaat? There does seem to be a bit of a spell on Hope where Wyatt is concerned. I think she's just loving that someone was willing to go so far as to steal a diamond for her!

On the hot seat, Wyatt blathered on about how he only did it to help the line. What, HFTF's clothes aren't good enough to generate publicity on their own? Thankfully, Wyatt finally admitted that part of him pocketed the diamond to impress Hope. Part of you? That was the only reason, stud farm. He also admitted that he and Quinn sometimes conned people to get ahead. Good to finally get some backstory, because I was ready to play the violin over how they had to scratch and claw. Boo hoo.

Given this new information, Eric was well within his rights to cancel Forrester's contract with Quinn Artisan Jewelers and send Wyatt up the river. But what happened? Eric deferred to Rick, who let Wyatt off with a slap on the hand because of the potential scandal for the company. Are you kidding? How come no one ever gets punished on this show? It would have been a nice twist for Wyatt to actually go to jail, and Forrester would have been fine -- the company was duped, and it's survived worse scandals than this!

Or, maybe, Forrester could take the hit. That would have be far more interesting than keeping Wyatt in the building where he could handle Stephanie's jewelry! No wonder Aly was pissed, although Wyatt let it roll off his back, just before rolling onto his back with Hope. Do these two seriously have to take every opportunity to get down with each other? It's getting old. Though Hope did lament, "If something were to happen..." Usually, that means something will. Is Wyatt about to wish Aly had gone over the railing?

After Eric told Aly to chill and spill (has Thorne not told his father about Aly's mental problems?), she went home to her HFTF shrine and found comfort in her mama's glowing, floating head. Dude, really? We'll forgive that Aly sees her mom as if she'd aged naturally. But after eight years of waiting to see Ghost Darla, all we get is a head? I suppose that's better than on Y&R, where Kevin had visions of a chipmunk head. I was just hoping to see Darla in her ethereal entirety.

I was also hoping for more otherworldly wisdom than, "the Forresters need you." This means that Darla is only Aly's interpretation of her, not actually Darla's ghost. As I said before, Aly's problem is the tragedy of Taylor being involved in her mother's death. You'd think, if Aly were to go after anybody, it would be Steffy or Thomas, or even Taylor herself, not Wyatt. Darla still has some appearances coming up; maybe those will be more satisfying, though it's wonderful to see Schae Harrison in any case.

Meanwhile, Brooke was downstairs, hoping to scare up another ghost, but first, let's talk about what transpired beforehand. Brooke didn't believe Ridge's feelings for Katie were real, and she continually reminded him that their son, R.J., needed him to be in the same house. I don't hate Brooke like many of you do, but I found myself getting very annoyed with her. She didn't go to Eric and talk about how much Rick needed both parents living together back in the '90s. Probably because she had left Eric for Ridge!

Brooke's 27-year devotion to Ridge (March 23 is the show's anniversary; happy 27th, B&B!) has always made her oblivious, but hearing her go on about how they could make it work was kind of sad. Whatever torch Ridge carried for Brooke was clearly extinguished when he learned of Brooke's sister-betraying dalliance with Bill. "You're not hearing me," Ridge insisted. Hmm. Is Brooke just committed to Ridge out of habit? Not that she spent much time thinking about Ridge when she accepted Bill's ring...

And the same pretty much goes for Ridge regarding Katie. He told Brooke that her sister can give him "a life without complication" -- and he knows this after two wannabe dates? I do find myself on board with Kridge, but it's happening too fast. Donna, who needed to be slapped as she lambasted Katie for falling in love with Ridge, was at least right when she questioned whether Ridge still had feelings for Brooke; he did come back to town for her. A few months later, Ridge loves Katie. Okay...

At any rate, Brooke finally got the message and paid a visit to Ernest and Julio, splashing red wine as she heatedly updated Bill about Ridge and Katie, adding, "Maybe you can rein her back in!" I have to admit, I rather enjoyed watching Brooke freak out; it's quite a difference from her usual, cool smoothness. Of course, Bill found it the perfect time to ask Brooke to come back to him. But Brooke pushed the muscle-bound Machiavelli away and said she wanted to be alone. Wow! Did you evah?

When Ridge returned to Katie, the show set it up like he was going to dump her. We already knew he wasn't, so why put Katie through the wringer? Her fears were unfounded, though, as Ridge led her upstairs and got busy with her "silhouette" like she was Kenny G. (Eighties reference!) The shadowed scenes were a nice change of pace from soaps' usual bumping and grinding, but I really could have done without the oh-so-current song that accompanied it. This isn't Dawson's Creek, yo!

As if to prove my point, Wednesday's episode began with regular soap music accenting Ridge and Katie's afterglow, which worked much, much better. They talked about not having expectations and living in the moment then decided to go back for seconds. Boom-chicka-wow-wow! They were as happy as...well, as two recasts in love! (Imagine how this scene would have played with Ronn Moss and Nancy Sloan, the original Katie, LOL!)

But those in Kridge's circle were far less happy. Bill ran to Rick, bitching about what Ridge had done to Rick's mama. Why are these two even talking? The last time we saw them together, Rick had locked Bill in a fake jail cell to keep him from putting Maya in a real one! Now they're commiserating over Brooke? Sure. And I don't get why Rick is so upset. True, Ridge shouldn't have tried to marry Brooke if he didn't mean it, but Brooke's no wide-eyed innocent in all this. And Rick isn't twelve anymore!

While Bill and Rick allied against Ridge, and Ridge and Katie allied in bed, Brooke somehow got herself over to Eric's to have a chat with Stephanie and a vodka bottle. Brooke was already pretty toasted when Bill left; did she really drive to the Forrester compound with a blood alcohol level that would shock the most jaded of cops? Of course, she helped Bill get away with exactly that when he wrapped his car around a tree last year, so maybe she felt she could get away with it, too. But I digress.

So, Brooke doesn't have a picture of Stephanie at home she could talk to? No one heard Brooke carrying on in Eric's living room? Despite the implausibilities that led up to it, Brooke appealing to the departed Stephanie was the strongest scene I've seen on B&B in a long time. Why? It was dripping in history. Accuracy, continuity -- this is what makes a soap scene resonate. Thinking of her beginnings with Bill, Brooke slurred and told her frenemy, "You could have slapped some sense into me - literally!"

Brooke then recalled scenes in which her one-time nemesis believed the best in her; now that's how you do flashbacks. "I couldn't be the Forrester matriarch you wanted me to be," Brooke cried. Well, darlin', B&B didn't let you. Brooke was in a good place when Stephanie died, and the show had the opportunity to let the tainted temptress grow; instead, they took her down her dirtiest road yet. In that sense, Brooke didn't even try to reach the potential Stephanie died believing she was capable of.

Brooke has glimmers now, but I don't know if I dare hope. She needs to go without a man for a while, and she did push Bill away. Brooke has needed to hit bottom; now she has, even concurring with Stephanie's "slut from the Valley" label. Man, that would have been a perfect time to bring on some Ghost Stephanie. Or how about Brooke balancing her buddy flashbacks with scenes of La Forrester giving her hell? Still, it's a step in the right direction, if Brooke actually learns something here. If.

"I miss you," Brooke sobbed, staring at Stephanie's picture, and it made me realize just how much I miss her, too. How about you? What did you think of Brooke's drunken catch-up with Stephanie? Darla's glowing head? Kridge's coitus? Share your comments with us on the Soap Central message boards or the comments section. Send email or leave a voicemail! Or talk about it on Facebook below. Your comments could end up in a future column. Like these!

• "I don't know why people are so surprised by Aly's abrupt plunge into insanity. Abrupt is what B&B does. Steffy abruptly decided she was in love with Liam. Caroline abruptly turned into a raging b**** and then just as abruptly turned normal again. Rick abruptly became head over heels back in love with Caroline and entirely over Maya. Quinn abruptly decided the wealth and success she supposedly spent Wyatt's entire life 'protecting' him from was her life's mission to attain at any cost. It'd be more surprising (and yes, I agree more satisfying) if there'd been more buildup." -- Katelyn

• "Viewers keep looking for consistencies in the soap when there is none. The soap is plot or action driven...in plot or action driven drama there is not a whole lot of references to history. It is just a way to keep the action going...maybe there should have been some hints that Aly was psycho but that was probably a way the scribe decided to give her character more air time. I can't stand to watch her because what she is doing is stalking Wyatt...stalking is against the law btw. As for Ridge his character has completely changed since [Thorsten Kaye] has taken over his role. There is not [continuity] because the character is more low keyed and likes poetry and the chemistry between Brooke and Ridge is [lost] with this TK playing it. -- Mary Riley

• "Stephanie wanted Brooke to be the head of the Forrester family after she died. Let Brooke and Eric re-connect, and that will start a rift with Brooke and Donna; also let Quinn be pregnant with Bill's baby....Quinn assaulted Aly...Quinn threatened Donna. She's the reason Hope saw Liam talking to Steffy on her wedding day. Quinn and Wyatt are con artists. It's just a matter of time before someone from their past recognizes Wyatt's face alongside pictures of him and Hope and comes to town to collect that which they have stolen." -- Mary

Let's march into some more madness with Points to Ponder:

All this talk about the diamond -- have the cops not dusted it for fingerprints? Wyatt's would be all over it, while none would belong to the two "drag queen" thieves... Aly wailed that Quinn would be sent to jail alongside Wyatt for covering his crime. Well, they'll need a bigger cell, then, because Hope, Pam, and Rick are also guilty of obstructing justice... Trying too late to see her sister's side, Donna told Katie, "You could compete with anyone." Yeah, except herself, since Katie lost Rocco to Donna back in 1988!

Ridge has seen Katie as a romantic possibility for a mere fraction of the time he's seen Brooke that way, yet he wants to dedicate a line to Katie already. That's cold. Neither Brooke nor Taylor ever got one... "We haven't even had time together since you got back," Brooke insisted to Ridge. It's the one thing she was right about as she campaigned for some Bridge reconstruction... Wyatt interrupted Hope's cell phone call with a little somethin'-somethin'. Great that she got a new phone, even if her old one is polluting the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, where she dumped it...

How ironic: Ridge and Katie are getting it on in the house he had built for Taylor... Bill griped to Rick that Ridge was taking up with "his wife --" Oops! This begs the question, are Bill and Katie actually divorced? Katie filed in July, but, if the show ever finalized it, the scene was blink-and-you-miss-it... Wow, if Brooke had passed out a few inches further, she would have really whacked her head on Eric's table... "I'm not the same guy that went to Paris," Ridge assured Katie. No, Ridge, you certainly aren't!

Rick was glad Bill could be there for his mother. You can say that, Rick? Bill is the same guy who, not that long ago, made it his life's mission to destroy your half-sister... Stephanie's picture has spontaneously, perhaps supernaturally, come crashing down off the wall whenever Eric has tried to kiss another woman -- Taylor, Quinn, and Donna, respectively. Yet Brooke ran her hands down the portrait as she dropped to her knees and it stayed exactly where it was. Has Eric superglued it to the wall by now?

Well, as you may have read, Freaky Deaky is on his way back to Los Angeles, in the form of Sean Kanan reprising the role of B&B bad boy Deacon on June 13. Brooke and Katie's dance cards are full: could Delicious Donna be next on Deaky's freak list? Might he actually be a father to Hope? And what will happen with Bill? The last time Bill and Deacon were in a room together, Spencer implied Sharpe would be sleeping with the fishes if he showed his face in town again!

Tracy does the Scoopin' for you next week, and you'll find me on your monitors again April 7. Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

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