Fuller up!

B&B offered us its usual varieties of soap fuel this week: tortured triangles, rushed romances, and other unleaded storylines. Until Wyatt and his mother Quinn drove in and gave the show a tune-up! Welcome the oily changes and gas up with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you accept an engagement ring made of rubber? Did you continue to justify your love? Did you join an elite pack of mama lions? These and more situations faced the Forresters et al this week!

Welcome back to Soap Central! It's my turn to wield all two of the Scoops for B&B this week, and they're chock full, so let's get started. Caroline knows Rick is still hung up on Maya. For better or worse, she's dealing with it. Carter knows Maya is still hung up on Rick. But his way of dealing with it was to put a ring on it and ask her to marry him! Can someone tell me how this even makes a lick of sense?

I admit that Carter coming from the perspective of someone who performed marriages but didn't himself want to marry was not only astute, but a great piece of continuity considering that his being ordained was just sort of a throwaway detail. But does Carter really think that wearing his ring is going to make Maya forget about Rick? And Maya just accepted it, grinning. The moment was set up to be the height of romantic yet was completely devoid of romance.

Whatever happened to love in the afternoon? To courtship? To dating? Thorne finally got a date, but it was off-screen. B&B's residents just kiss each other and out spring relationships, or they swap partners like they're square-dancing. Yeah, I get the soaps move faster now, and sure, they need drama, but has anybody on the writing staff dated recently? Getting to know someone can be fraught with drama! Why does B&B always skip that part? It's like eating a donut hole instead of the donut.

Carter and Maya only ever had one date, and Maya spent it thinking about Rick. Wouldn't Carter have been better off asking Maya out again before proposing? Working together on Room 8 doesn't mean they know each other, and now they're engaged. It baffles the mind. "Carter and I make sense," Maya insisted when Rick saw her left-handed bling. Sure, that's a good reason for marrying someone. Maya and Carter may have finally hit the sheets, but the whole story was dullsville.

The saving grace of all of it was Jacob Young's palpable emotionality as Rick and Maya parted ways. I never got to watch Jacob's work on All My Children, but this gave me a chance to scratch the surface of what he could do if he was written into a decent storyline. It's really a disservice to Jacob, and all the B&B actors, that pretty much all they're given are insipid love triangles.

Meanwhile, Bill acted as if Katie took Will away forever; even Brooke reminded him it was just a business trip! I guess being pissed off is like an aphrodisiac for him, because he yanked Brooke to him and stuck his tongue down her throat. I hate that Bill is still rationalizing everything and Brooke is still whining about Katie not forgiving her, but I do find it interesting that Brooke is still feeling guilty about being with her Stallion. Is there some hope for the ever-tarnished Miss Logan after all?

Bill assured Brooke she'd done nothing wrong (!), then made grand statements about love while Brooke furnished her trademark single tear. They even got a schmoopy song to illustrate their romance like the young'uns do! Only thing is, no matter how much B&B tries to feed us the idea that Brill is romantic, it isn't. And something really needs to happen with this story, because it's going in circles.

Why did Brooke suggest that Bill go back to Katie? No matter how wrong Brill is -- and it is -- Bill and Katie reuniting is not the answer. Bill has done too much to Katie for that coupling to ever work again. Bill actually earned a point with me for realizing having Katie followed would make things worse...then inexplicably updated Brooke on the progress of his private detective! Huh? What happened to Bill's contention that using an investigator would scare Katie off? Make. It. Stop.

Pam had a refreshing moment where she actually ditched her pearl necklace and went on about her new jewelry from Quinn's line, even offering to be a walking advertisement at her crochet club, but then too soon she reverted to form and offered Quinn and Wyatt her lemon bars. WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE MAKE HER SHUT UP ABOUT THOSE LEMON BARS! (Yes, that's in caps; it does mean yelling, and I mean it for you, Brad Bell.) Sheesh, why not just change her name to Lemon Bar already?

As the Fullers started their meeting at Forrester, Caroline finally got to meet her cousin (nice touch, by the way), and then everyone got down to the business of necklaces. You know what? That business meeting was actually interesting to me! I felt like I was sitting in on a real conference. Maybe it's just novel because of the constant diet of triangles we get, and of course Quinn Artisan Jewelers (the new "gondola" of 2013) only has their Forrester deal to fuel a triangle. But it was the best part of the episode.

Liam wasn't having it, however, and complained to Hope about how Wyatt was disrespecting their engagement! Are you listening to yourself, Liam? The second you made out with Steffy during your first engagement to Hope two years ago, you lost the right to make that an issue. At least the writers are aware of that; Hope even alluded to that little bit of karma herself. But then, Liam had the audacity to tell Hope she needed to cancel Forrester's contract with Quinn!

Say what? How does a "liability to our personal relationship" compare to the bottom line of two companies? I get that Liam's uncomfortable with Wyatt's presence, and let's be honest: Hope hasn't really been sending Wyatt away. Wyatt flat-out admitted he's after Hope, and Liam should be worried, but if Spencer Publications had had a deal to promote -- Steffy's ski line, for example -- would Liam have cancelled that contract because Hope objected? Hell to the no! What nerve Liam has!

Wyatt's coming on strong, but he's right about one thing -- Liam hasn't had competition before, not unless you want to count the milquetoast Oliver (who, by the way, called The Young and the Restless' Summer Newman to ask her about coming to California for meetings. Is Summer going to cross over to B&B sometime soon?). I also liked that Wyatt openly told his mother that Liam isn't a bad person; he just can't make up his mind. This is why Wyatt is working for me. He's not a one-note anything.

I have to confess, I am loving watching Liam squirm. After sitting through his implausible girlfriend switching these past two years, it's like a reward for the audience. You know it's bad when Brooke, of all people, tells Hope that maybe having Liam sweat it is a good thing! Wyatt's goal of showing Hope that she can have more, even if that more is ultimately from Liam, was spot-freaking-on. Wyatt is really shaking things up wherever he goes.

But not as much as mama Quinn! I have to admit, I wasn't crazy about Ms. Fuller at first, She seemed to be cowering about everything, particularly about Bill being Wyatt's father. Well, either there's a major continuity flaw here, or Quinn was just saving her Sunday punch, because as soon as she overheard Liam's demands that threatened to tank her deal with Forrester, she marched straight over to Eric's house and started working the angles!

It was worth it all by itself to see the Forrester living room again. I hadn't realized how much I missed it. Quinn's visit also shook a few important details loose from the storyline tree: Taylor is in Paris, visiting Steffy! Where else would she be? But at least we finally got to hear it. Of course, that can only mean Taylor is also hanging out with Ridge. Is a Tridge reunion in the offing? Or has Ridge, in the year since he dumped Brooke, moved on with some fair French mademoiselle? Ah, oui, but I digress.

It was wonderful to hear Eric talking about Stephanie again, crediting her with any and all success that's come to him. I wonder what our dear departed master of manipulation would have thought when Quinn moved into position to overhear Hope asking Eric to break Quinn's contract? Cut from the same cloth indeed, Eric! Usually wishy-washy about almost everything, Eric put his foot down and refused to kill the deal, as is right. Eric knew damn well Liam was behind it all, and he didn't budge. Go, Eric!

Hope wasn't exactly devastated to be told no. And the ecstatic Quinn thanked her new benefactor with an even newer kiss! And what happened? Stephanie's portrait came crashing down, as it did when Taylor kissed Eric, which the patriarch had just told Quinn about moments before! Can't you just see Stephanie exerting her special brand of control from the great beyond?

Quinn called to mind another delicious diva of yesteryear, as well. No, not Sally...none other than Sheila Carter! As Quinn watched Liam, knowing he had gotten in the way of her business deal and that her son wanted Hope, Ms. Fuller's expression turned cold as she uttered, "You made a big mistake, messing with my son, Liam." Yes! I actually yelped out loud. What do we really know about Quinn, anyway? And if Wyatt was willing to take Liam down...well, Quinn could be just as ruthless...or more!

The final twist of the week came when Liam received an email: Steffy had agreed to an annulment, and the papers were on the way! B&B finally righted the wrong of Steffy's demand for a divorce, correcting it in Steffy's own words, "You're right, this isn't like last time." After all, it was Steffy who ran off and pushed Liam to marry Hope. It didn't make sense for her to then try to stall it. So, the waiting period is over, and Liam and Hope are free to attempt marrying yet again. Though not if Wyatt has anything to do with it!

Yes, Scoopers, the Fullers are suddenly making things interesting, which is good, considering B&B was about ready to function as a sleep aid. What do you think of Wyatt and Quinn's impact on the Forrester/Spencer/Logans, and what calm or chaos do you think they'll provide us? Express yourself on the Soap Central message boards or the comments section. Send us some email or leave a voicemail. And then, there's a little thing called Facebook below. Your comments could end up in a future column. Like these!

• "I think that [Brill] is quite nasty even for a soap. It has truly turned me off from the show as a whole. Brooke is a love her/hate her character but she has always loved her sisters and to mess with that even for fantasy is tacky and desperate...[they] need to cast some more characters for Brooke to mess with or bring back Ridge because this is just uncomfortable and asinine." -- Lisa

• "I usually don't comment a lot on B&B because the plot is so inconsistent and plot driven with some of the history forgotten...but I do not see Donna with a love interest so [Katie saying Brooke would want Donna's man] was a strange thing for Katie to say. Katie...wanted Brooke to marry [Bill] and care for Will in case she died...and Katie [tried] to break up Nick and Bridget (Brooke's daughter). Maybe Katie should leave or exit the show..." -- Mary

• "Bill Bell is one sick puppy letting the storyline about Bill and Brooke go on...he and his writing team should start writing for porn companies...B&B used to be classy. Not so much now." -- Kathy (EDITORS' NOTE: Can't argue that, Kathy, but it's Bill's son, Brad Bell, who has been the head writer for B&B since 1993. Plus, Bill died in 2005.)

• "I am a South African who watches B&B on a daily basis. I've watched it since I was 9 and now I am 31. The soap always favors Brooke's family; they always get what they want...we are starting to lose interest now because it's all about Brooke's family and getting what they want and it's boring." -- Nthabiseng

I just want to publicly say how incensed I am that B&B would even consider recasting Karen Spencer. I know that she's only been a recurring character since her departure in 1994, but Joanna Johnson, who also played Karen's iconic twin sister, the original Caroline Spencer, has history dating back to B&B's very first episode. I understand that Ms. Johnson is busy, but surely some arrangement could have been made if the show wanted to craft a bigger story for Karen! It's soap sacrilege, is what it is.

And one has to scratch their head at B&B's latest casting call, this one for a 40-ish man called Tom. Now, you know that can't be right, because the show already has a Thomas. You'd think even for the purposes of auditions, they'd give the character a different name. And that, gentle Scoopers, was not the only Point to Ponder this week:

"I've been through scandals before," Brooke told Bill. You should know, Brooke; you caused most of them... Naturally, Carter's ring fit Maya perfectly. How did he know her size? Just once, I'd love to see a prospective groom struggle to shove a ring on his bethrothed's finger!... Pam had to get Eric's office set up for the next meeting. Except it was already well past sunset. Is Forrester Creations open 24/7? Speaking of which, the orange and purple backdrop at the Forrester mansion implied that it was still twilight out -- but again, it was already dark in every other establishing shot...

Caroline told Eric that her "Maya Spidey" sense was tingling. Funny, considering her red, web-patterened dress more than evoked Spiderman. Was that a purposeful choice?... Rick is the president of Forrester, and Eric listed him as a point person for the deal with Quinn. Why wasn't he taken to task for missing the meeting, especially since he bailed on it to see Maya?... "Business decisions were mine to make, you said," Wyatt reminded Quinn. Then why did Quinn even need to attend a meeting? For that matter, why was Quinn shown working on designs at Forrester? She has her own studio!

How hilarious was it when Wyatt offered to "hug it out" with Liam? Though I'm more curious to know how Wyatt got from Forrester to Liam's house in Malibu in just one scene... Eric and Quinn are both designers, which gives him something he's never had in common with a woman before... It was wild that Rick thought Eric's "unexpected visitor" was a ghostly Stephanie!

Quinn told Wyatt that eavesdropping on Liam and Hope was "like listening in on a private conversation with the royal family." Does Quinn, who had nothing but disdain for rich people before, suddenly have dollar signs in her eyes? Finally, wasn't it appropriate when Liam had to ask Bill not to intercept the courier carrying Steffy's annulment papers or try to bribe the judge? That's exactly the kind of thing you'd expect Bill to do, isn't it?

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Soap Central program. Thanks for reading my thoughts on all things B&B! It's Tracy's turn again next week, and I'll be back October 7. What havoc will Quinn wreak by then? Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

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