Brooke Logan needs a shrink, just not Taylor

If you blinked, you missed the climax and culmination of Dayzee's dilemma with Maya. If only Brad Bell could apply that speed to the Steffy-Hope-Liam triangle! Eric and Taylor are racing to a romance, no matter how inappropriate, while Brooke has confounded all of us with her wacky romantic choice! Pucker up, because it's time for your weekly date with Two Scoops.

What on earth is Brooke Logan doing these days? Is she really this much of a romantic basket case without Ridge, or any other man, in her bed that she's acting like someone I don't recognize anymore? This past week was like a window into Brooke's soul, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

For starters, what part of Hope's request that mom "back off" did Brooke not understand? Hope's words were crystal clear. But that didn't stop Brooke from orchestrating an elaborate elopement wedding at Liam's house with the idea of recreating the Puglia nuptials. Brooke even went so far as to bring the priest from Italy to Los Angeles to do the ceremony. Yes, she went that far. By the by, what kind of ethical priest would agree to such a ruse?

It's probably not too surprising that Brooke is obsessed with Hope getting Liam back. She's been fairly transparent about that, but this latest escapade is over-the-top, to say the least. It's probably the result of all those romance novels she's been reading, which Hope noticed.

The idea that a beautiful, seductive woman like Brooke would be curled up in bed, reading romance novels, is kind of laughable. Brooke's not the wallflower type. Wouldn't it be smarter for Brooke to get out of the house and meet some eligible men? That means guys who are outside her family unit!

Like I said, the romance novel business was really a weird twist for a character like Brooke. She's not the dreamy, fantasy type. Pam reading those books? Yes. Brooke? No.

I would also suggest that the men described in those books are just as much like Ridge as Bill. But when Hope questioned her mother about Ridge, I was dumbfounded to hear that Brooke's given up on ever reuniting with Ridge. Really, she said that. Frankly, I don't believe it, and I think any of us who've watched this soap for 25 years don't buy it either.

By the way, during Brooke's Valentine's Day spiel about her life being all about her children, did she mean all her children, or just Rick and Hope? She doesn't even mention R.J. these days. I'd really like to know what's going on with this kid since he's been exiled in a boarding school. He doesn't even get to go home for holidays!

Brooke also had nothing to report about Bridget, and does she keep up with Jack? Yes, he's Nick's son, but Brooke's his biological mom. I guess it's truly a case of out of sight, out of mind. Brooke's apparently too preoccupied with poaching her sister's husband to think about her entire brood.

Didn't you want to slug Bill Spencer when he was so disappointed that Katie didn't want to have sex on Valentine's Day? I mean, seriously, was it necessary for him to pout like a child? Katie's up to her eyeballs, taking care of Will, without the aid of nurses or nannies. Of course she's exhausted. It was such a clich that Bill saw her falling asleep as him being rejected. I think Brad Bell could have done more by showing that Bill was cool about letting Katie rest and put off the nookie for a couple of days.

On the subject of nookie, I was surprised that Eric didn't stay with Taylor on Valentine's night. After the neck massage and the long, simmering looks, it seemed like a logical next step. But then it occurred to me that when Eric commented on his age, he said it was past his bedtime, I think he might have also been sending a message that he was unprepared for a roll in the sack. For a man of Eric's advancing years, those little blue pills need some time to do their work, according to the commercials.

From my perspective, Eric is not using his head with Taylor. Some other part of his anatomy is influencing his decision. How else can you explain that he stood there and listened to Taylor say that all the Logan children were born takers, and that only Taylor's children have respect for others? Has Eric forgotten that Rick is his son with Brooke? How could he let that line pass? He should have told Taylor not to speak about his son like that, but he didn't.

And we all know why. Eric wants to make love to Taylor, so he's not inclined to say anything to muck up his chances. He's intent on turning his former daughter-in-law into a lover, kind of like he did with Brooke. And don't think that Brooke won't be stung by that development. She's already upset that Eric promoted Thomas without talking to her. Brooke can sense that she's losing her place in Eric's heart.

I understand why Eric wants a woman who'll want him back. Those last years with Stephanie were rough on him. Of course, since we've been watching forever, we haven't forgotten that not too long ago, Eric was Donna's honey bear. That marriage was all about sex, and that was not that long ago. It wasn't like he was faithful to Stephanie for 25 years and didn't get sex.

I think Taylor was sincere when she said she was really fed up with Brooke's family interfering in her life, but what has she done about it other than complain? Los Angeles is a big place. It's a metropolis, for goodness sake, and yet Taylor haunts the halls of Forrester Creations, walks into Brooke's home (unannounced), and generally insinuates herself in her enemy's world. Why? You don't see Brooke walking into Taylor's office (assuming she's still practicing her profession), do you?

Taylor wondered why Brooke feels like she's part of Forrester? Well, even if you despise Brooke, you have to admit that she has spent most of her life at Forrester! She created BeLief, and that helped revolutionized the business. She's also been the face of Forrester Creations for a couple of decades. Taylor cannot have forgotten how many years, how many fashion lines, Brooke created, can she? Talk about revisionist history.

When it comes to our Logan fans vs. the Taylor fans, I'm starting to think that this is a tie. Looking at the history of Brooke and Taylor, they've both left a wake of lovers behind them who have been too close for comfort. It's been all in the family! If Taylor and Eric become a couple, that would mean Taylor's bedded Eric's sons Rick, Thorne, and Ridge (although he's really a Marone). How is that any better than Brooke having had sexual relationships with Thorne, Eric, Ridge, and Deacon? Does the crazy graduation party encounter with Oliver make Brooke worse than Taylor? Oh, I forgot, they both had Whip, too!

The point is that whether you are a Logan lover or a Taylor lover, these women are severely damaged and hardly the stuff of role models. And that brings us to their daughters and this ongoing competition to see which lady will wind up with Liam. Never mind that neither Taylor nor Brooke is crazy about Liam. They both acknowledge that their daughters want this guy and they'll do anything they can to make sure Liam chooses their kid. If they were in ballet attire, I'd think I was watching Dance Moms!

What more can be said about the Steffy-Liam-Hope triangle that's yet to be said? Liam is the most frustrating character I've ever watched. Will he be able to keep his promise to Steffy that he's going to make a decision in a day? I highly doubt it.

After the encounter between Steffy and Hope in the office, when it seemed like Steffy might lose the baby because of the way Hope shoved her across the room, I expected Hope to have a moment of reflection. She'd really overreacted. When have you ever seen Hope physically attack someone on the show? It was out of character. What made it worse was that Hope didn't even blink after seeing Steffy sprawled on the floor. That was awful. She should have been apologizing like crazy to Steffy.

But that was a week back, and nothing happened to the baby, so Steffy and Hope just let the incident pass. Steffy didn't even mention it to her mother! This week, Steffy and Hope both acted quite rational. I was impressed that they showed some maturity and restraint when dealing with Liam. Both were willing to give him time and space to come to a decision.

Of course, it's nuts to hear Steffy saying to Liam that their relationship is so strong because there are no secrets between them, but she's yet to tell him about the baby. It's laudable that she doesn't want Liam to choose her just because she'd pregnant, but it's also wrong to keep the information from him. Even a spineless guy like Liam will not forget that she kept the truth from him for weeks.

But it's a tough spot for Steffy. She didn't intend to get pregnant, but she also didn't do anything to prevent it. Is it possible that subconsciously she was looking to a way to forge a bond with Liam that would trump anything he has with Hope? You have to wonder, because if there were no baby, I suspect Liam would choose Hope. Liam's still starry-eyed for Hope, even though he knows he has incredible chemistry with Steffy.

The problem with this entire situation, as we've long lamented, is that Liam seems incapable of taking charge and making a decision. He doesn't want to hurt either Hope or Steffy, but he also knows the only one who's in control is him. Until he finds out about the baby, and then he'll do the right thing and choose Steffy. But don't expect that to be the end of the triangle. This Steffy-Liam-Hope thing will go on and on and on.

On the other hand, it looks like Dayzee's dilemma is over. Early in the week, I was really worried that Dayzee had inadvertently gotten herself into a world of trouble. The fact that Maya's child had died tragically made me think that Maya would want revenge. It would have been realistic. In the short time we've watched the character, Maya's been mad as hell. Why wouldn't she want justice?

But instead of a real storyline for Marcus, Dayzee, Carter, and Maya, Brad Bell wrapped up the whole thing lickety-split. Maya met her child's adoptive relatives and learned that her daughter had been very happy. She'd been a loved child and part of a good family. For Maya, that was enough. She thanked Dayzee for what she'd done for the baby, and that was it. All's well that ends well.

Now, is it just me, or does this seem off-balance? The Steffy-Liam-Hope storyline can't come close to a resolution, but Dayzee's potential debacle of epic proportions is tied up with a bow after about three weeks? Sorry, but that's just ridiculous. And it's not the first time Brad Bell's done this. Marcus' texting while driving storyline was also a short story compared to the multi-volume novel that's Hope, Liam, and Steffy's triangle.

My Pet Peeve of the Week is a minor one, but I couldn't help but notice that in order to make the point about Brooke being hooked on romance novels, they had to actually show the books piled high on her night table. Well, that's fine, except for one thing. These days we're being told that e-books are taking over. It would have been more realistic for Brooke to be reading a Kindle or iPad than the actual books! But then, Hope wouldn't have noticed what her mother was up to, right?

So, that's a wrap. Please share your thoughts with me about what's going to happen in the weeks ahead... I'm anxious to read what you all have to say. Please share your thoughts with me about what's going to happen in the weeks ahead, as well as your best and worst from the year gone by... I'm anxious to read what you all have to say. Send your comments to Soap Central, and stay in touch. Don't forget to keep on reading Two Scoops every week!

Meanwhile, here are some letters from the readers!

• Just a note to crazy Taylor. She couldn't understand why Brooke was with Stephanie when she died and not Eric or anyone else in her family. Well, if she remembers, it was because HER son, Thomas, insisted on having an FC meeting that Eric felt he had to be at. Taylor's behavior is starting to become stalker-like, walking into everyone's house, checking whose car is parked there. Getting scary! - Deborah

• I love Steffy and cannot stand the perfect Hope. Please let Steffy get back to being the tough, smart, fun woman she was when Liam first fell in love with her! If Liam goes back to Steffy because of the pregnancy that would make me puke! He is as wishy-washy as Hope. Give Steffy a strong MAN if Liam doesn't grow up! I so want Taylor to take Brooke on, too. That would be awesome if she finally acted more like her daughter. Thomas and Rick both make me change the channel. - T.M.

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